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In memory of
John Michael Aulicino, Jr
January 27, 1957 - January 4, 2020
Jan 27, 1957 - Jan 4, 2020
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Background
My father struggled most of his life with drugs and alcohol. He did the very best he could for me over the years, but unfortunately he was able to break the chains and free himself from the demons death grips. Most recently Dad was clean and sober for 7 years, up until he was diagnosed with stage 4 liver cancer in the summer of 2017. Because he was in a great deal of pain from the tumors his pain needed managed, and as a result of his medical condition and grim prognosis, the pain medication sent him into a relapse. My father tried his best to stay clean and maintain sobriety but between the pain he felt physically and emotionally he just couldn’t handle it. He was given 3 short months to live, and in that time frame he mended broken relationships, was able to spend time and repair his relationship with dying his father and build new ones with his two younger brothers, and me, his daughter and 3 three grandchildren. We finally had our loved one back with us and present, of clear and sound mind. It was the greatest blessing we could have asked for. Sadly his father passed away in February of 2019 and between the loss, and his own medical condition it was just to much for him to bare emotionally. He spiraled out of control, succumbed to the demons and began using again. Leaving him homeless, alone, terrified, and dying. We were all here for him, but we’re unable to take the pain away for him. He stopped going to his cancer treatments, leaving his life in grave danger. In August my father was taken by ambulance to the hospital, his liver was shot and produced so many toxins in his body it left him in a constant state of confusion, hallucinations, and unable to care for himself. In addition to his cancer, the failing liver, he contracted a staff infection in his blood, making his last few months here on earth a living hell. He would spent the next few months in two hospitals, and physical & occupational rehabilitation centers. He thought he was progressing for the better, the infection had cleared up and in December he began to see his oncologist again. His last hope was a liver embolization in mid December. He was given a 50/50 chance of surviving. 50% chance it would help wade his pain and stop the tumor from growing, and 50% of the treatment taking his life because of how grave his prognosis was. Unfortunately on December 20th the nursing home sent him by ambulance to another hospital, due to confusion, and a comatose state of mind. I got the call, and rushed to NY to be at his side. I arrived and saw my dad tied to a bed, tubes coming out of every direction, in pain, tormented and fighting for life. It was anything but peaceful, and no one should have to go through what he did. I immediately requested hospice care. My dad deserved to be at peace. He hadn’t been given that his entire life. Now was the time. In couldn’t bare to see him suffering. I watched it for 38 years of my life. Now it was my turn to help him as best as I knew how. On December 31st my Dad was transferred to the Hospice Inn in Melville NY. In and out of consciousness he would communicate with me. He told me he loved me and that he waited for me. My dad had nothing, no where to call home, not a single thing that made his life comfortable besides the drugs, not even a penny to his name. I asked what his lady wishes would be. He requested a service because he had a lot of friends and family, but didn’t like the idea of a viewing because he felt that was morbid. When I asked if he wanted to be buried with his parents or come home with me, he smiled and nodded. So I would like to respect his wishes. My dad didn’t live peacefully, and he didn’t get to die peacefully. It was a brutal, painful life and ending. I thankfully was able to be with him, at his bedside through it all. He wasn’t alone, he was surrounded with love, family and friends. He took his last breath holding my hand, as I whispered I’ll meet you on the beach in the sand with margaritas in my hand. I hope one day we will be reunited, and we can do this over, without any demons, pain or suffering and have the Father, daughter relationship we tried so hard to have here on earth. Until we meet again, Dad, I’ll love you forever. Go dance with the angels.
With love,
Sabina Contribute
With love,
Sabina Contribute
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