I loved you then, I love you now, and I will forever hold a permanent spot in my heart for you Joel 💘😘   I will see you again in Heaven and until then stay close and visit often,  I will know it's you 💝

All my love.  I miss you 🥺💔😭

All these pictures of the different phases of Joel’s life are awesome. And a little sad because I missed out on all those years. We had different paths for sure. At least they re-converged in time to re-establish a friendship. What a lesson. 

Anyway, this supposed to be a story about Joel. I don’t have stories, per se. But at this point, I have unforgettable glimpses:

Joel driving us in his beat up Ford Pinto to Long Beach and back on a school night to go see Iron Maiden. We stopped for gas and remember him slapping his own face to stay awake for the ride home…. And then nodding back off in the passenger seat. What a friend I was. 

Our high school salute to one another in the hall as we greeted or passed by.

Him learning to play drums and trying to hone in that drum opening to Where Eagles Dare. He was actually a very competent drummer and wished he hadn’t left that talent dormant.

The infamous birthday party at his house where Joe allowed us to drink (it was a different time….) and we all watched Faces of Death (My goodness it WAS a different time!-what on earth?!). I remember sitting and watching then tipping straight back and hitting my head on the floor. Apparently it made a sound. The room froze. Then I sat right back up and made some wise crack… and Joel lost it. He talked about that for months. 

Discovering that I had a coworker named Brock who was friends with Joel, at Blue Cross after maybe months of working together. By this time I had not spoken to Joel for years. I remember passing along a hello. It didn’t go anywhere. 

When Brock had told me Joe had passed away and how much that impacted me. He was a good guy and treated me well every time I came over. And wishing I could have been there for Joel. 

My best memory is reconnecting with Joel and having the rare opportunity to actually become friends again. That doesn’t always happen how you’d hope. Time passes, maybe you or the other person has changed and you just aren’t able to reconnect. But in this instance…. We did. And I was able to convince my wife to get on a plane and fly to Kallispell, MT to hang out with a bunch strangers for Christmas. I’m so thankful we did that. 

Joel was one of my best friends. We took 20 years away from each other but… in the end it was a great friendship. We are VERY different, but he’s one of the few people I could feel totally comfortable with as an adult man and talk about things that we were struggling with or just enduring. To not have him in my life (again)…. Is heartbreaking. 

I‘m not much for public statements, preferring to (clumsily) express my thoughts and feelings in private and directly. But at the same time I want to contribute to giving public testament to how loved Joel was in all the small and big ways. 

Goethe said that the greatest monument to a man are his fellow men.  In the way our lives mingle with the lives of those around us, in the ways we touch, shape, and elevate each other lies the seed of immortality. Shakespeare expressed the same thought when he wrote “So long as men can breathe and eyes can see/So long lives this, and this gives life to thee”. In this way Joel will never be truly gone. He’ll continue to exist, foremost in his children but also in the hearts and minds of those who knew and loved him. Maybe this thought will provide a little solace to all of us down the years to come.

My heart goes out to Deanna, Jamey,, and Jenna. You are constantly in my thoughts and I wish you strength in this terrible time and love to see you through it.