致在天堂的父亲 -

大约是在北京时间12/23日凌晨，父亲悄悄地走了没有惊动任何人，就像他执念一生的为人，热心助人却不想给人添麻烦，那怕是在人生的最后一刻。美国人的葬礼是亲人故交回顾生前往事，感谢在人间体验一生后再回到上帝身边，所以不太悲伤，可我却还是无法释怀泪如雨注。今天是父亲的头七远隔重洋无能为力，就把这些天写下来的记忆中父亲的点点滴滴，发出去作为一个纪念吧。

我的父亲，不是好像，而是就是，别人口中说的寒门贵子。我的亲生爷爷老早就没了，他的亲娘也丢下他另谋生路。还好苍天有眼，父亲被爷爷奶奶收养了。那时他才7-8岁，靠村里头东家一碗粥西家一块芋头活着，头上还生疮流脓。我的奶奶也是人间传奇，老太太一生文盲却天生文艺，据说她年轻时还代表翻身农民去过大会堂唱过山歌。她最牛叉的地方就是宁可吃糠咽菜，也要父亲担上谷子交学费，最终父亲考上了北京石油学院。父亲也许是因为早年的经历，不仅对爷爷奶奶孝敬有加，对凡是老家来的人他也都特别地好。还记得小时候家里就像客店一样，可他从不报怨乐此不疲。

我从来不认为父亲是学霸型的，因为他从来没指导过我学业，无论是语文还是数学，连乘法口诀都没有过。可备不住他是妥妥的根正苗红又积极要求进步，所以早早地就被组织关怀上了加入了革命的队伍。一个学石油的毕业时居然留在了京城，还是national专政机构，实现了我们家的阶级跨越。当年父亲因该是风光极了，他多少同学被送到沙漠去挖地球，内心不知道是否羡慕嫉妒恨。老话说三十年河东三十年河西，几十年后那边儿出了一个正国两个副国，衣锦还朝就跟戏文里唱滴一样。

父亲和母亲在老家就认识了，一辈子对老妈好得类令人发指。父亲浓眉大眼人长得又英又帅，据说当年大户人家小姐倒追，他还是义无反顾直接回老家把老娘接倒了京城。我私以为这和老舅当年供他上大学出了大力多少有点关系，当然和俺家的传统也有关系。俺爷爷就是宠了奶奶一辈子的，只有我另类儿积了他们的福，生活上反要被领导照顾真是汗颜。

父亲的动手能力应该是了得的，记得他失落时还和谁谁一起打过一整套沙发。可他从来没有给我做过玩具，连小木枪纸风筝什么的都没有。小时候我们家居然就住在天安门旁边的大院里，每当小伙伴们在广场上玩打仗放风筝时，我心里真是无数匹草泥马奔腾。实话实说，我对小时候父亲的形象很模糊。只记得他会给我从图书馆借好看的书，像初刻二刻拍案什么的，还有就是会逢年过节时，给家里打食堂做的米粉肉特别香。不知道他那个时候是否也像我以前那样拼了命地也要奋斗个出人头地。这两天回看他和孙子孙女的视频，那真是天伦之乐令人泪奔。

我对父亲的仰视是在上海念大学时才开始的。我们这拨京城长大的孩子，从小玩打仗就争当个司令什么的，最不济也要当个侦察班长。我们家后来搬到了京城西边的大院，那时候父亲就在大院里每天上学习班好像无所事事了，可父亲从来不说为什么，小孩子也半懂不懂。转机是从家里安装电话开始的，后来听说是有贵人相助，回报父亲得意时手下留情。话说这事儿也得分时就势，俺在二线厂都始终跨不上资深总监那道坎，原因之一就是too soft。以前看拍案说一个京都俭事出了京有多么跩，古今都一样真滴是前呼后拥着实风光。多年以后，和父亲在公园里聊起这些，他说你们爱比谁谁的爸爸官大，我们却在谈谁谁的孩子好。老爸说的才真的是大智慧。

父亲是88恢復军衔制后的第一批大校，可我认为他一生中最主要的成就，还是主持制定了国家行业标准，第一时间和国际接轨参与保护地球臭氧层。现在回过头来看，在那个全民经商快速脱贫的年代，他当时做的可是造福子孙千秋万代的事儿，是积了大德滴。别看瑞典环保公主Greta现在满世界跑秀，我告诉孩子们说，你们爷爷20多年前就已经开始行动了，而且还不是光放嘴炮是真干实事。

父亲在京城工作和生活了一辈子，可对故土的依恋却是深入骨髓。父亲最喜欢吃的是老家的萝卜烊豆腐烊，清汤寡水的，那玩意儿餐馆都不做因为没法赚钱，看他吃起来比山珍海味还享受。对家乡后辈无论亲朋，他是全力提携，大家对他也是真心的敬重。记得以前北京过冬要冬储大白菜，三九寒冬的在后院挖地窖那叫一个刺骨滴冷啊，可小伙子们不用叫都会来。几十年以后，当年的小伙子们也一个个都在京城安了家，逢年过节或者有个头疼脑热的，大家还是会不约而同地来看望老爷子，这不能不说是父亲一早儿就结下的善缘。

别看父亲来自又土又穷的偏僻乡村，可他却非常热爱高科技的玩意儿。手机是必不可少的他一直在学，那怕是手机虐他千百遍，他也爱之如初见。两个月前父亲成功地做了白内障手术，当他告诉我又能看清手机屏幕时，隔着太平洋我都能看见他脸上的笑容。每次回国，他关心的不是给他带了什么礼物，而是要我教他怎么操作手机应用。平心而论，现在的智能手机对老年人太操蛋了，根本没有考虑到老人的视力和操作稳定性。俺有幸在手机这个行当里混了20多年都没想过这些问题。反而是国内的码农贴心，十几年前国内开发的一个开心农场，老爸每天都在种菜浇水一直玩到上个礼拜，这就不知道是不是因为他的农民出身了。

父亲最令俺竖然起敬的，其实是他坚持了一生的自律。不用提每天雷打不动的要看新闻联播，以前住西城大院时，他每天清晨都沿护城河跑5千米风雨不断。退休后来美国玩，清晨起来练太极剑，像钟表一样准确。俺家邻居是前特种兵，他对老爷子的self discipline都佩服不止。父亲在13年秋不幸脑梗，抢救后都无法说话和站立。在这样困难的情况下，父亲坚持电疗理疗，最后居然自己站起来了。慢慢地还可以自己下楼，还能在院子里遛弯，连医生都说真是奇迹。快十年了，一想起父亲，我脑海里就是一个白发苍苍的老人，就算是一步一步挪动也要坚持下去的毅力。扪心自问，俺当年戒个烟都戒了无数回才做到，不服不行。按俺发小的话说就是老革命都是生命力极其顽强，现在老革命也到站了。

呜呼，念此杳如梦，凄然伤我情。父亲您就放心在天堂里安息吧，我还记得我们的约定。我会照顾好母亲送您入生暨，那村前山后的竹林里应该是您睡得最安稳的地方了，也会带您回湾区看着您的子孙后代在美国开枝散叶，全家健康幸福快乐地过好每一天。

小武于圣荷西 12/29/2022

To my Father in Heaven -

Around the early morning of December 23rd, Beijing time, my father quietly left without disturbing anyone, just like he was obsessed with being a human being all his life, eager to help others but didn't want to cause trouble to others, even at the last moment of his life. American funerals are for relatives and friends to look back on the past, and thank God for returning to God after experiencing a lifetime in the world, so it is not too sad, but I still can't let go of the tears. Today is the first seven days of my father, who is far away from me and unable to do anything, so let me send out the bits and pieces of my father in my memory written down these days as a souvenir.

My father is not like, but is, what others say is the noble son of Han. My biological grandfather passed away a long time ago, and his biological mother also left him to find another way of life. Fortunately, heaven has eyes, and my father was adopted by his grandparents. At that time, he was only 7-8 years old, and he lived on a bowl of porridge from the head of the village and a piece of taro from the west, and there were still sores and pus on his head. My grandma is also a legend in the world. The old lady was illiterate all her life but was born with literature and art. It is said that when she was young, she went to the Great Hall and sang folk songs on behalf of the peasants who turned over. The most amazing thing about her is that she would rather eat bran and swallow vegetables than ask her father to pay the tuition with millet. In the end, her father was admitted to Beijing Petroleum Institute. Perhaps because of his early experience, my father was not only very filial to his grandparents, but also very kind to everyone who came from his hometown. I still remember that when I was a child, my home was like an inn, but he never complained and never tired of it.

I never thought my father was a domineering type, because he never guided me in my studies, whether it was Chinese or mathematics, not even multiplication formulas. But he couldn't help but be properly rooted and Miaohong actively demanded progress, so he was taken care of by the organization early and joined the revolutionary team. A graduate who studied petroleum actually stayed in the capital, and it was still a national dictatorship, which realized the class leap of our family. Back then, my father must have had a great time, and many of his classmates were sent to the desert to dig the earth. I don't know if I was envious or jealous. As the old saying goes, 30 years in Hedong and 30 years in Hexi, after a few decades, there will be a Zhengguo and two vice-governments there, and the clothes are still in court, just like singing in operas.

Father and mother have known each other since they were in their hometown, and they have been so kind to my mother all their lives. My father is handsome and handsome with thick eyebrows and big eyes. It is said that when the lady from a rich family chased after him, he went back to his hometown without hesitation and took his wife to the capital. I personally think that this has something to do with the old uncle's efforts to support him in college, and of course it has something to do with my family's tradition. My grandfather spoiled my grandma all his life, but I am the only one who has accumulated their blessings. It is a shame to be taken care of by the leader in life.

My father's hands-on ability should be amazing. I remember that he played a whole set of sofas with someone when he was lost. But he never made toys for me, not even a small wooden gun or a paper kite. When we were young, our family actually lived in the compound next to Tiananmen Square. Whenever my friends were playing wars and flying kites in the square, countless grass and mud horses galloped in my heart. To be honest, I had a very vague image of my father as a kid. I just remember that he would borrow good-looking books from the library for me, such as shooting the case at the first moment and the second moment, and that he would make the rice noodles and meat made in the canteen for my family during the New Year and holidays, which were very delicious. I don't know if he was trying his best to get ahead like I did before. Watching the video of him and his grandchildren in the past two days, it is really family happiness and tears.

My admiration for my father only started when I was in college in Shanghai. Those of us who grew up in the capital have always striven to be a commander or something, and at worst we want to be a reconnaissance squad leader. Our family later moved to a compound in the west of the capital. At that time, my father went to study in the compound every day and seemed to have nothing to do, but my father never said why, and the children half understood. The turning point started with the installation of a telephone at home. Later, I heard that there was a nobleman who helped me and repaid my father for showing mercy when he was proud. Speaking of this matter, it is time to score. One of the reasons why I have never been able to pass the hurdle of a senior director in a second-tier factory is too soft. I used to read about how embarrassing it is for a frugal event in Kyoto to go out of Beijing. Many years later, I talked about this with my father in the park. He said that you love to be better than someone's father, but we are talking about who's child is better. What Dad said is really great wisdom.

My father was one of the first batch of senior colonels after the military rank system was restored in 1988, but I think his most important achievement in his life was to preside over the formulation of national standards for the industry, and participate in the protection of the earth's ozone layer in line with international standards for the first time. Looking back now, in the era when the whole people were engaged in business and quickly lifted themselves out of poverty, what he did at that time was something that benefited future generations, and he accumulated great virtue. Don't look at Greta, the Swedish environmental protection princess, who is now running shows all over the world. I told the children that your grandpa had already started to act more than 20 years ago, and it was not just talking about it, but doing real things.

My father has worked and lived in the capital all his life, but his attachment to his homeland is deeply rooted in his bones. What my father likes to eat most is the radish and tofu in his hometown, and the clear soup with little water. Restaurants don't make that stuff because they can't make money. It seems that he enjoys it more than delicacies from mountains and seas. Regardless of relatives and friends of the younger generation in his hometown, he is fully supportive, and everyone also sincerely respects him. I remember that Chinese cabbage was stored for the winter in Beijing. It was bitterly cold to dig a cellar in the backyard in the cold winter of March 9, but the boys would come without calling. Decades later, all the lads from back then have settled down in the capital. During the holidays or when there is a headache, everyone will still come to visit the old man by coincidence. edge.

Although his father is from a remote and poor village, he loves high-tech gadgets very much. The mobile phone is essential, he has been learning, even if the mobile phone abused him thousands of times, he still loves it as much as the first time he saw it. My dad had successful cataract surgery two months ago, and I could see the smile on his face across the Pacific Ocean when he told me I could see my phone screen again. Every time he returns to China, what he cares about is not what gift to bring him, but that I teach him how to operate the mobile phone application. In all fairness, today's smartphones are too fucked up for the elderly, and they don't take into account the eyesight and operational stability of the elderly at all. I was lucky enough to have been in the mobile phone industry for more than 20 years without thinking about these problems. On the contrary, the domestic code farmers are caring. A happy farm was developed in China more than ten years ago. Dad has been planting vegetables and watering every day until last week. I don’t know if it is because of his farmer background.

What I admire and admire most about my father is actually his lifelong self-discipline. Not to mention watching the news broadcast every day. When he lived in the Xicheng compound, he ran 5 kilometers along the moat every morning. The wind and rain continued. After retiring, I played in the United States. When I got up early in the morning to practice Tai Chi sword, it was as accurate as a clock. My neighbor is a former special soldier, and he admires the old man's self discipline. My father had a cerebral infarction for 12 years and was unable to support himself after rescue. In such a difficult situation, my father insisted on electrotherapy and physiotherapy, and finally stood up by himself. Slowly, I was able to go downstairs by myself, and I was able to take a walk in the yard. Even the doctor said it was a miracle. It's been almost ten years. When I think of my father, I think of a gray-haired old man with the perseverance to persevere even if he moves step by step. Ask yourself, I quit smoking countless times before I did it, and I can’t accept it. According to what I said when I was young, the old revolutionaries have extremely tenacious vitality, and now the old revolutionaries have arrived.

Woohoo, reading this is like a dream, it hurts me sadly. Father, you can rest in peace in heaven, I still remember our agreement. I will take good care of my mother and send you to birth. The bamboo forest behind the mountain in front of the village should be the safest place for you to sleep. I will also take you back to the Bay Area to watch your children and grandchildren bloom in the United States. The whole family Live every day in good health and happiness.

Xiao Wu in San Jose 12/29/2022

Send to someone

Share this obituary with others

https://everloved.com/life-of/ji-chen/obituary/

Copy