2024 Huntington, NY

My last words to you just weeks before you left us were, "Yes, we will definitely do dinner at Jonathan's this January. Love you guys! Drive carefully." You were coming from a Doc appointment and stopped to get Katie's Christmas presents, how could I know that would be the last time I would see you? It's why we must always tell people we love them, so that will always be the last thing we said to them. You had a complicated life and many challenges thrown your way. I knew you since I was ten years old, that's 56 years of knowing someone. I can say this, you had a heart of gold! You loved us kids, your wife, your children and grandchildren. I saw your devotion to Katie, and knew the stories of you helping complete strangers, and always being so generous to us, Katie, all her special needs housemates, and so many people you encountered all through the years. You taught me to drive, introduced me to adventures in NYC, introduced us to the best seafood, Chinese food and Italian food, you were a great cook, the best driver in the world, and I am so grateful for the many years of stimulating and intelligent conversations, even if controversial (how many times we found ourselves politically aligned or in total opposition LOL? And how you laughed at how happy I was that we were both voting the same way this last election. Ha ha ha) You were always grateful for family and in all the years never ever asked for anything for yourself. A few months ago when you had a spinal surgery here in Huntington Hospital, we finally had the opportunity to do something nice just for you. We sister-in-laws put you up in the new Hampton Inn five minutes from the hospital so you wouldn’t have to take the long drive home to Baiting Hollow. We got you picked up, had some goodies and items you needed at the hotel, and got you settled in with some dinner from Munday’s. The next day I was to keep you and Susie entertained for the day and keep your spine safe.  We opted not to go back to my house because of the challenging staircases. We had that fabulous breakfast at Golden Dolphin, one of your favorite places, then I took you for a drive to my favorite local beach to look out at Huntington Harbor at West Neck Beach. You got out of the car even though you struggled post-surgery, but loved being at the beach that was one of your old stomping grounds when you guys lived on Cove Road, before the fire that took it all. I could see your enjoyment looking out at the water, wind blowing, deep breaths, seagulls flying, serene look on your face, seawater in your soul.  Susie and I stayed in the warmth of the car. It was a bit of a comedy show that day trying to get you guys both seat belted in my new Subaru, the noise would get louder and louder until the seat belts were clicked in, this happened all day long LOL. We took a drive to Smithtown to pick up your meds, laughing and joking the whole drive. Then we went back to Northport for me to look for phone a charger for you at Ace Hardware, no luck. We sat in the Ace parking lot talking for over an hour! Susie asleep in the back, we talked about every topic under the sun: politics, movies, music, TV shows, jokes, family, your grand kids, your work in Marine Insurance, life, how much you loved your wife and couldn’t live without her, how much you loved and admired your daughters and the grand kids, and how much you loved and admired your son and how it was your number one priority to spend more time with him in the upcoming years. It was one of the best conversations I have had with you in my life, and I am so grateful for that day! After that we went back to Huntington and got the best coffee in town at Southdown Coffee and I drove you to nearby Gold Star Beach, one of Roger and my fav places to take coffee and stare at the homes across the water, the lighthouse and harbor.  Then we went to the Cinema Arts, sat outside in the garden drinking the rest of our coffees till it was time to go inside the Cinema to see a funny movie called Thelma. The day ended when Lauren and Ryan got you home to Baiting Hollow. I am so grateful for the memory of that day. It was a perfect day in every way a day can be perfect! A beautiful memory. Love you so much Jimmy, and drive carefully...in heaven.

So many years, so many memories. I have know Jim most of my life, my sisters and I were flower girls in his and Susie's wedding. It is very hard to imagine the Nevins family without my brother-in-law, as he was definitely at the center of his beautiful family. Warm, kind and generous he was always offering help and was especially loved at Katie's group home where he and Susie were ever present with their kindness and generosity. He loved a good debate, was a great conversationalist, had a quick wit and great sense of humor and was a pretty darn good cook as well! To say that he will be missed is an understatement, and for those that knew him best, he is leaving a large chasm. 

"What you leave behind is not engraved in stone monuments but what is woven into the lives of others." - Thucydides

Uncle Jimmy was the ultimate soccer guy! While I was growing up, he was always so proud to talk to me about his reffing career and anything soccer related whenever he got the chance. He’d even go out of his way to watch my games whenever he was reffing nearby. He always told me how much he loved seeing me play and would say that I reminded him of Allyson on the field.

One of my favorite gifts from him was a giant soccer net he gave me for our backyard. He knew I would love it—and he was right. I spent hours and hours taking shots on that goal.

He would later hire me to coach his grandson, Nicholas.  We would meet at Northport High School, and Uncle Jimmy would stay and watch. He was so excited. 

I’m so grateful for the love of the game he shared with me. Rest in peace, Uncle Jimmy. You will be deeply missed. 

“Gone From My Sight” by Henry Van Dyke

“I am standing upon the seashore. A ship, at my side, spreads her white sails to the moving breeze and starts for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength.

I stand and watch her until, at length, she hangs like a speck of white cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other.

Then, someone at my side says, “There, she is gone.”

Gone where?

Gone from my sight. That is all. She is just as large in mast, hull and spar as she was when she left my side.

And, she is just as able to bear her load of living freight to her destined port.

Her diminished size is in me — not in her.

And, just at the moment when someone says, “There, she is gone,”

there are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices

ready to take up the glad shout, “Here she comes!”

And that is dying…”

All those who have sailed before, like Jimmy’s parents Jim, Dolores, my parents Pauline, Joe, and so many loved ones Al, Tony, Tony Sr., Gloria, Margaret, Dot, Ronnie, Charlotte, Phil, Joe, Babe, Betty, Johnny, Jim, Adele, Mary and many ancestors who are surely shouting:

“Here Jimmy comes!”