I was always enamored with my “Aunt Jackie”. I always scrambled and fought to sit by her, talk with her, and just simply be in her presence. As anyone who met her knew, she was so full of light and love. And when that light was focused on you, you never felt more special or seen. Getting to visit and stay with her, Scott, Kels and T, was a highlight of my childhood. She would meet my mom and I at the outlets right before Casa Grande, specifically at the Wendy’s (where we couldn’t not get a frosty), before driving me back to her house. As we would get closer she would always point out the towers of red lights in the distance, “Look, it spells love.” she told me that first time. As a kid I absolutely saw those letters spelled out in the lights. While I now know their true purpose, I don’t need to see letters to know it is definitely a beacon of love; a gift from my Aunt Jack in how to see the beauty in even the mundane things.
When I was a teenager and facing my own life changing diagnosis of CRPS, she was there. Needing medical care across the country, in Boston, Jack saw to it that my mom and I didn’t have to face such alone. When not seeing doctors or getting tests done, she pushed me around in my wheel chair, navigating the snow and unknown streets of Boston. Most vividly I remember an afternoon in which we decided to see a movie- My Big Fat Greek Wedding. There was a good bit of snow on the ground, with more imminent. Being unable to cover my foot, she made me laugh as she raced me down sidewalks to make it to the warmth of a small theater nearby. That’s what Jack always did for me…she pushed me but also made me laugh and focus on enjoying even the small things.
As an adult, who continues to struggle with CRPS, Jack was always a source of support, even when far away. Any time she heard of something that could possibly help, she shared it. In addition to being an emotional support, she was always a champion of me and my art. I have so many memories of going to Target or Michael’s and being told I could pick out any art kit I wanted, or that I could get whatever art supplies I needed to tackle a project she thought we should try. She would often join me and even led our foray into the world of stamping and scrapbooking. Anytime she would ask for my opinion it would make me feel 10ft tall. That she respected and valued my opinion, even at a young age, meant the world to me.
All my experiences with Jackie have become the blueprint for how I hope to be as an aunt now to my beloved nephew Teddy and niece Junie. I have many wonderful memories with Jackie at Color Me Mine, and the second Teddy was old enough, I took him. A trip to Build a Bear will certainly be next. If I’m able to be even a fraction of the aunt she was, I know Teddy and Junie will feel so loved and supported.
Being with Jack during the last stages of her fight against cancer was a gift I never hoped to get but am so grateful to have received. Because as always, just being her in presence was enough.
To say she will be missed doesn’t feel adequate. And knowing Jack, she wouldn’t want that to be my focus…on all that she will miss. Because she’s always been there for the ones she loves and that certainly won’t change now. Keeping her memory alive will be the easiest part of this loss, as I find such comfort in being able to have a lifetime of memories with her to share and look back on. And as always, just like the lights that led her home, she will forever be a beacon of love in my life, and in the lives of many.