One story I cannot get out of my head reminds me of how much of a brother Ian was to me and how much of a sister I got to be. When we were little we were always competing, laughing, and tattling  on each other. I remember we used to race through our Granny’s house because I claimed that due to being older I would also always be faster. He got so fed up with me that he told me he was going to walk right out the back door of my Granny’s house and let the snakes eat him. And he did just that, made an angry face and ran outside. Mind you, at most, there were only garter snakes back there.  He came almost immediately back in crying and I knew I’d get in trouble for that one. And then there was me always trying to touch his ears because they were cold and mine weren’t. It drove him crazy.  

Even though I was definitely a menace, he loved me and made me feel whole. He always made sure I knew I had a shoulder to cry on. He gave me stern talkings to in our adult lives when I was doing things I knew better not to do. But, never once in a mean way. Just in the way that someone who wants what is best for you does. 

I will never stop missing him.  I will never stop loving him. And I will always have a piece of me missing. I promise to live my days a little louder like he did. Love a little harder like he did. And continue to work on the best version of myself like he wanted me to.  Thank you, Ian, for showing me what having a brother felt like for all these years.