I truly appreciate all of your support for Heather. She was truly loved, and you are providing her a much-deserved honorable memorial service.
I did not want to put her cause of death in her obituary, but for anyone that needs to read this and understand, the following is her story (from her sisters' perspective).
Heather struggled with addiction for most of her life. But she always tried to be sober. She would get medication help to keep her from relapsing. She would keep herself busy, cleaning, remodeling her living spaces, and caregiving for others. She always had motivational sayings hung up around the house to keep reminding her to stay strong. She would have long stretches (years) of being sober, but she never resolved her inner demons to keep her away from them entirely. Her family always encouraged her to be sober and I tried to show her that she was loved and care for no matter what. But then she met her boyfriend. Her boyfriend also struggled with his own addiction problems. But Heather was a caregiver and thought, together they could love each other enough into sobriety. Heather had dreams of being a mother. She wanted to love someone unconditionally and be loved unconditionally so very badly, more than anything in this life. But her boyfriend had an insidious demon that would never give Heather's dream a reality. His love for her was possession. He stalked her phone (tracker, combing through messages, pictures, etc.), accused her of cheating constantly, berated her, hit her, used her, isolated her from her friends, and ultimately dried up her spirit entirely when she learned he had been cheating on her all along. I won't sugar coat it; towards the end she started to hit him too. But, ultimately, her years of periodic relapses caught up to her in the end. Her kidneys no longer could take one more time. While we don't know all the details leading up to her death, her life was too short, and she suffered from the constant want throughout most of it. She is no longer in her own chemical prison. She is free.
Why am I airing some of her dirty laundry? Well, if you knew Heather, you already knew of her struggles, but lover her anyway. If you yourself are struggling with addiction or domestic violence, please seek help. You are loved even if you don't see it yourself. You deserve a better life and to also be free of your demons and chemical prison. https://www.samhsa.gov/find-h…
If you recognize some of the behaviors as a perpetrator of domestic violence, there is help for you too. Batterer intervention programs can offer counseling and skills to properly cope with mental and emotional issues. Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline 800-799-7233 if you are a victim or perpetrator.