Gracie Evelyn Rolph, 90, of Florence, Kentucky, died on 10/27/2017. She was born to William Alfred Buckler and Roxie Ethel Buckler, on 06/15/1927 in Casey County, KY.

She graduated from Boone County High School in 1978. Mom worked very hard to earn her diploma, 33 years later than she would've had she graduated with her friends in the class of 1945. She did this by attending night classes, and did this with a dedication and drive that inspired everyone around her. She helped countless people return to school to earn their GEDs or high school diplomas, and never missed a chance to encourage people to go back to school. She used herself as an example and would tell people, "look at me, I'm an old lady, if I can do it, you can do it. I'll help you." And she did. 

She went on to study Office Management at NKU Extension and graduated with an Associates Degree. She was in her early 50s by this time, but she did it. It was inspiring to watch her do this in the midst of separation and divorce from our father. They were married 33 years, and the divorce, like so many divorces, was really stressful. She had 3 kids who still lived at home to take care of, an elementary school aged child and two teenaged girls. It must've felt insurmountable and overwhelming at times, Nevertheless, She persisted. Like many divorces, the parent who stays, the one who gets full custody, ends up with all the blame and anger from the kids for things typically shouldered by two parents. The absent parent gets away with not being in the daily life decisions, the aggravations, the disagreements. They sometimes even end up lionozed in their absence. A lot of mothers, Gracie included, got that from kids in divorce. Just a few years after the ink on the divorce papers was dry, years before we could see things clearly enough to 50/50 the blame and anger, and get our family on solid ground again, Dad was killed. 1984 was a rough year. I didn't think about it at the time, but a single mother with 2 kids at home, poverty level income and constant money worries who is given the additional job of being the surviving parent must have been nearly impossible for her, but she did it.  

My Mom, Gracie, took that hard earned education and worked as a Receptionist/Office Manager at BAWAC (Boone Adult Work Activity Center) for 23 years. I used to visit her at the office for lunch several times a week when I worked down the street at Litton Enginerred Systems. I got a lot of free therapy from the psychologists and therapists on staff. The entire staff at BAWAC was always incredibly supportive of Mom and us kids.  After 23 years of service, she retired from BAWAC in 1990.

Mom enjoyed Crossword puzzles. She loved reading, especially romance novels, which, if you knew Mom, was about as incongruous as it gets. She was no romantic. But, she loved a good Harlequin, and I once bought her a monthly subscription to their book club. She really liked that gift, and she rarely liked the gifts people gave her. Once I figured out that she wasn't ever going to use the well thought out, often expensive, gifts I was giving her, I asked her what she truly wanted. She said,  "coffee, creamer, sugar, and cigarettes. " From that point forward her gifts always included massive amounts of Maxwell House coffee, Creamora, 5 pound bags of white sugar, and Doral 100s, gift wrapped. We have some holiday photos that look like she's collecting things to trade in prison, but that's what she wanted, and once I acquiesced and began giving her those gift boxes filled with what she actually wanted, she seemed happy with her gifts. I have vivid memories of wrapping bags of sugar and cartons of cigarettes in Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer Christmas paper and sticking bows on the packages. 

She loved Frazier, Monk, and watching funny shows and movies on TV.  Michael, her middle son, died within days of her Mother, Roxie, in September of 1999. Rough month for our family. Mike practiced martial arts, and while she was with him in St. Petersburg during the weeks before his untimely death, they watched his favorite Jackie Chan movies over and over. After he died, Mom used to say she knew she was having a good day if she could see Jackie Chan on her TV set and not fall apart crying. Years after Mike died she still couldn't watch Rush Hour, and sometimes she'd start to cry if an ad for the movie played on TBS,  announcing it as coming on later. She was tender like this, in the most surprising of ways, a stark contrast to her self-proclaimed qualities of "abrasive and blunt." Mom was full of dichotomies like this. I mean, we all possess dichotomy within us, but hers were so jarring at times it felt like she was rearranging my DNA.

There's a section in these obituary prompts for "List of Passions," or "Awards," and it would be a shame to omit that Mom was passionate about her Maxwell House coffee, Creamora powdered creamer, white cane sugar in a 5 pound bag, Doral 100 cigarettes, and Antonio Banderas. She ate Häagen-Dazs chocolate ice cream out of the pint container and often had a chocolate mustache. She often told people, unsolicited, "I don't need a man." She loved Taco Bell, though. One of her favorite items of clothing was a much washed, super soft, Taco Bell tee. Quirky is understatement when we're talking about Mom. She was a hoot, there no denying that.  

OK, on to her one marriage. That's to my dad, Jim.  Gracie and James Millard Rolph, Sr. were married June 19, 1948. Together they raised 5 children: James Millard Rolph, Jr. (Susan Grainger), Michael Kelly Rolph (deceased), Janice Arlene Rolph Modarelli (Nick Modarelli) Linda Suzanne Rolph-McFalls (Michael McFalls), and Christian Aaron Rolph. 

Gracie had many grandchildren, but her favorite was Lauren. Everyone knew this. Was it fair? "Life," as Mom would say, "is not fair, it's a shit sandwich and every day you take a bite." I'm certain Lauren was her favorite person ever, and Mom made no secret of that. 

Gracie is survived by all of us reading this. 

The family entrusted Fares Radel with the arrangements. A Cremation occurred, as did a Celebration of Life. 

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14 years before her death, Mom and I talked about what she wanted her funeral to be like. She wanted a wake, just a party and these songs (see photos of the lists, one in her writing!) in this order. The second photo is of the addendum to my list, the songs she told my daughter, Lauren, add to her Wake Playlist. I recall the conversation like it was now. She'd had skin cancer a few years prior, and we were speaking frankly about what her wants would be in the event she had a stroke (she did), or became unable to express her wants and needs verbally (she suffered brain damage, had severe aphasia, and dementia). She said keep her alive no matter what, no pulling the plug (dear god, that was her advance directive, but it's nothing I'd ever want for myself, it was brutal, and I wasn't even there to see the very end, I'm told she literally wasted away), burial by her father in Morgan, food and fun, her music choices, and everyone goes home and gets on with life. She didn't want mourning. I hope those in charge of her funeral plans were able to honor her wishes.

*she wanted her oldest son, the musician JM ROLPH, to play the instrumental version of Stairway to Heaven, accompanied by musicians of his choice.

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