Where to start….Who was George to me? George…affectionally referred to as GOD - George Oliver Durham by Lynn and myself because he could do anything, knew everything, solved every problem that he encountered or we threw at him. And this wasn’t just professionally, he had all the answers for me personally as well. I’m not sure how long we believed his middle name was Oliver, but I know I believed it for a long time.

I met George at the start of my career working with individuals with developmental disabilities in an ICF in Bennington Vt in 1982. Lynn and I both worked there at the time as direct care staff. George was brought in as a consultant to do a training with us on how to decrease the rate of self-stimulatory behavior in a young woman. I recall thinking “no way” we’ve tried everything, nothing this guy has to offer will help. I don’t recall exactly what I said to him but something that made him sense I doubted his magic powers. George told me we would end the day with an effective plan as he could “teach a worm to crawl up the wall” if that is what was needed. I wish I challenged him to prove that! That has stuck in my mind all these years, if George can teach a worm to crawl a wall, there must be a way to teach anything. Little did I know at the time that those words, and that training that day would be the start of my career in ABA. Thank you George.

During that training he demonstrated the power of reinforcement and even had us try some of the techniques as he described them. The dreaded “role-plays” ugh. But George had us all captivated and actually wanting to do it! I was learning more that day than I felt I had in the previous 4 years of college. I was fresh out of college and eager to learn, very young and inexperienced. Following this consultation, George encouraged me to sign up for the graduate program in ABA, at that point, George became my mentor.

Oh the opportunities he gave us!! Of course one of my favorites was sending Lynn and I to Philly to work with “Ruby” He sold us on the idea of it being like a vacation! Airfare, hotel included -all expenses paid AND we’d each be paid $1,000. That was a LOT of money for a couple weeks work. We eagerly went to our “vacation job”. Once there, we learned we were going to be with Ruby 24 hr/day for the full 2 weeks minus 1 day off in the middle to enjoy doing whatever we wanted, a rental car, and a nice hotel. All we wanted when that day came was a LONG NAP and a meeting with George to cuss him out (he was not available btw). It was a while after we returned home that we realized we actually made about $2.00/hr to be locked in the basement, stuffed in a washing machine, threated with a knife, and one of the best times of our lives getting to know and love Ruby. There are not many things I did in my 20’s that I recall every detail of, yet this one I do. It was challenging but also provided me with both professional and personal growth that has served me well. Thank you George.

George provided me with an opportunity of a lifetime when he “pirated” me from the agency I was working for in Vt. George sold me on being part of the deinstitutionization movement and starting a new agency that was going to be cutting edge. My only hurdle was to go through an interview with Kim Kelly and convince her I could do the job. I was terrified to meet Kim. George had shared how brilliant and beautiful Kim was. He beamed when he spoke about her. Oh my Lord…first GOD and now the queen of ABA!! Yikes. Again, years later, I realized George knew how insecure I was and how hungry I was to be a part of this life changing opportunity so knew “scaring” me a bit would help me dig deep for my strengths and abilities instead of focusing on perceived weaknesses. Thank you George.

Working with Kim and George at IPPI was an honor and a privilege. It brought me out of my comfort zone of living in Vt all my life to moving to NH and then to CT. I was exposed to all aspects of the field, held many positions with the agency, and had more challenges similar to the Ruby story. During the many many years we worked together, George was always teaching me more, always available, always focused on what mattered-(quality of life), always challenging me, and always able to see when I needed a shoulder to cry on or a push in the right direction. He always had time for his employees and respected the role we served.

Personally, George had the ability to talk to me as “I ain’t your therapist but…” when needed. I often didn’t know I needed these heart to heart conversations, but George always did and they often came with a bottle of JD. George never gave me the answers but always led me to come up with the answers. That is the BEST asset a teacher can have. George was my teacher, my boss, my friend, my mentor, my idol, my hero for many years. It was so awesome going to conferences or other agencies and everyone knew George. I felt I was special to him, he had a way of making everyone feel that way.

As the years passed and our roles evolved we did not work together directly as much but he was always in the background and jumped in when needed. I recall calling him before purchasing our first home for his expert advice as a realtor. It was then I learned that many of the careers George said he had, or stories he told weren’t always 100% “true”??? However, every story he told was to teach something, fix something, or offer support, never to toot his own horn.

George is a legend. His bio tells you that. Yet he never acted it, I’m not sure he saw himself as a legend? He was just trying to provide the best care and treatment for the individuals we serve while running a human service agency effectively and responsibly to become known as “the best” Mission accomplished Mr. Durham! The wisdom, courage, and guidance George gave me shaped me into the successful professional I became. The impact George had on the people he worked with will live on forever.

Kim and George created an empire in the world of ABA for residential services, in home supports, consultation, schools, and with some of the most challenging individuals in the most challenging settings imaginable. Their commitment and ability to develop strong teams across so many states was beyond impressive. Thank you both for allowing me to be a part of that.

When George began having medical challenges it was very hard for me to imagine not having him close by as my mentor if needed. I couldn’t imagine him losing his brilliance, charm, or personality. Again, Lynn and I had the opportunity to visit him just months before he passed. He did not lose his personality or his charm. He didn’t join in the conversations as passionately as we had known for years, no off color jokes or questionable stories but those bright eyes, that endearing smile and the signs he gave us that he knew, he remembered, and he enjoyed it all made me feel better, my mentor was there, still. I realized he will always be there, forever because he taught me so much and meant so much to me, he meant so much to so many. Thank you George.

Thank you for giving me so much more than just the skills you taught me, thank you for the life lessons that helped me build my foundation. I will cherish every story, every memory forever. I ran across this poem which reminded me so much of you which I would like to share today

In the garden of my life, you were the guiding light,

A mentor, friend, and beacon, shining ever so bright.

You nurtured my growth with wisdom and care,

Planting seeds of knowledge I'll always share.

Your lessons, like stars, illuminate my way,

Guiding me through challenges, come what may.

Though your physical presence may be gone,

Your spirit lives on, in my heart, it will dawn.

I remember the talks, the laughter, and the tears,

The strength you gave me to conquer all my fears.

You believed in me, even when I doubted,

Your unwavering faith, forever will be shouted.

So, as we say farewell, with heavy hearts and tear-filled eyes,

We celebrate the life of a truly remarkable prize.

Your legacy of love, wisdom, and grace,

Will forever inspire us to embrace