As most of you know, on December 26th, 2023, I lost my best friend and what most considered as my older brother Declan Kyler to a cardiac event. After thinking about it for the last five days, I realized that Declan and I never actually called each other a friend but only really “brother” since the beginning so please understand why I refer to him this way throughout. Big Dec was definitely a Kyler but he was also a Farnworth through and through. Some didn’t know the true extent of how close we were throughout the past 15 years. In third grade at just seven years old, I was in Mrs Moores classroom and they decided we would have a project pairing with kids from another class (Mrs Howard’s). Both Declan and I were the only ones not in a pair and honestly at first, that’s all I could focus on until I realized that I had found the most loyal and caring brother / friend anyone could hope to find. He almost immediately invited me to hangout at his house, asked his dad for an Xbox because I had one and that was the beginning of the best years of my life thus far. Over the next almost decade, Declan, Spencer, and I would play more video games than any healthy human should (it was sometimes 12 hours or more straight for multiple weeks or days in a row), more midnight candy/snack runs, have more than a few camping adventures, and create more memories than I ever thought possible. These memories are ones that I will keep with me until the day I see him again.

Over his college years, we spent more time building our own lives as we each battled with responsibilities piling up but that didn’t mean we didn’t reach out at least once or twice a week to make sure things were headed in the right direction still. In the last few months, Declan and I were talking a lot more as he had graduated and had a break until his new job he had just accepted started up.

In the past week or so I have had almost every side of pain I didn’t know was truly possible. The one side I have yet to experience is time. Time without the laughter that Big Dec brings to the family room. Time without his bear hugs. Time with knowing I can no longer login to the games to play a couple of siege matches just for an excuse to sit and talk. Time without the opportunity to call him as I always did for the tough take he gave on life advice. Time without the memories we all expected were coming like my best man speech, going camping for numerous more hilarious sitcom moments, our kids growing up together, and most importantly going through the pain of loss together that comes naturally.

I also just want to put my apology in here to one of my greatest allies in the game of life. Declan, I want you to know that I will always carry my guilt for never having been up to Minnesota to sit with you. You invited me plenty of times, and I always found some reason I could not fly out whether it be work, family, or some other reason. While these reasons were important at the time, they did not matter more than the additional time I could’ve spent learning all I could from you about keeping positive during adversity because those closest to you know you mastered that skill from a very young age. I cannot lie I am lost and even more scared to find out what the rest of my life looks like without you to hold me up.

On a more optimistic note, I want you to know that the group that you, Spencer, and I started all those years ago will continue on growing to create more stories for when we get a chance to sit around the campfire and tell you everything. I say that last part even though I know you’ll be right there watching over us while laughing at the good, and finding subtle ways to remind us we’re not alone during the bad. 

On Christmas Day, I had a deep bad feeling in my stomach. I made sure to send each of my six closest friends a personal voice message detailing how grateful I am for their form of guidance over my life and how much I truly appreciate their lifelong friendship. Declan had responded that night with “Merry Christmas brother, love you too man”.

To Tiffany, Pat, and Maddie, I want to say that if you ever need anything or want to talk to someone who knew little Dec like you knew him, please call me at anytime. You will always be a second family to me. I have just had a hard time wording what I want to express. Declan, Spencer and I all had our own demons in one form or another. With that being said I think video games just gave us all an escape from the harsh realities of the issues we were all facing and a brotherhood we could all realistically rely on should we need too. I will never be able to repay you for the ability you gave me to experience having an older brother to turn to when I had no one else.

To Kora, I know you and I have talked more in the past week than we have in four years but I want you to know that you can always call. I really do believe after speaking with you that the two of you were made for one another as your sense of advice and humor show more Declan than he ever did. I know I already told you this but I’m going to say it again. I’ve known my brother for a very long time, and while he did get happy it seemed to me everyone rarely saw the true excitement he got when he was jumping up and down for something. He would ramble faster and you could feel the love he was channeling. It reminded me of a kid on Christmas after receiving their main item from their letter to Santa. I would have to tell him to slow down so I could understand. This only occurred maybe ten to fifteen times while I’ve known him; half of which were about you and how lucky he felt to have found someone that really saw Declan for him. Not the exaggerating football playing bigger than life persona he put on with most but instead he knew you would love him while also knowing his fears, his true doubts, and his real ultimate struggles. You knew Declan how I knew Declan and I’m glad you reached out as I now know some of his spirit lives on. Thank you Kora for giving my brother a safe unconditional rock and a space he knew the real and sometimes vulnerable Big Dec could come home too.

Parent Pride 💜

Declan wasn’t just the biggest guy out there in school he had the biggest heart never had I ever seen someone with so much talent/ respect / and overall genuine kindness. While we weren’t the closest after HS we still had multiple conversations that were always were meaningful. I don’t really talk with too many people from highschool but he was one of them and man I don’t know how to say this but thank you Declan for being the human you are. May you spirit watch over us all with love. 

I hope the Kylers get through this time together and pray there is a huge celebration for him because of all people I went to highschool with I believe he deserves something like that in his honor the most… he was 1of1 

I first met Declan in September of 2019 during his and Kora’s freshman year. Kora had moved out of the dorms and in to the house I was renting in winona for my sophomore year. Kora and Declan met during their freshman orientation class and I quickly heard about the new crush Kora had from class. I pushed Kora to keep talking to Declan in class and see what he was all about. The first night I met Declan, he and Ethan picked Kora and I up from Emma’s house and we all hung out at my house singing songs, telling stories, and laughing our butts off for hours. From the time Declan and Kora started dating until his passing, Chris and I have had many memories with the both of them. Declan basically lived with us my sophomore year, getting up bright and early for practice and spending as much time as possible with Kora. We had all spent many late nights playing uno and taboo, eating Chris’s dinners, and watching movies. After I moved back up to the cities (just around the corners from Koras parents house) Chris and I still spent many weekends with Declan and Kora. Chris’s favorite memories revolve around fishing in winona with Ethan and Declan, (Declan dropped his phone in the lake and got bit by a snapping turtle while they tried to find the phone) fishing with Wayne and Declan, playing card games for hours, talking all things hunting, and spending late nights by the campfire at the Tokach’s. My favorite memories include going to the state fair to try the pickle pizza, getting our puppies Harley and Charlie at the same time, being in on the surprise proposal - trying to keep a secret for Kora while taking her to get her nails done! And Definitley this final Christmas together… Chris had gotten Kora and Declan a canvas print of them and Charlie as king, queen, and prince! I was nervous that Kora would think it was ridiculous. However, when they opened their gift both Kora and Declan bursted out in laughter. He was so excited to hang it on the wall! Funny enough - Declan got Chris a picture of our dog Harley as a Vikings football player! With over 4 years of memories and events to flip through I could write an essay sharing all about the kind of person Declan was and how much he meant to us. I am so glad to have been blessed to meet Declan and have him as such a great friend to Chris and I. He made an impact on everyone he met, everywhere he went. 

Declan could not be stopped at the net playing volleyball in 2019 for Skyline High School. 

Declan greeting his good friend Jackson O’Brien during 2019 senior year at Skyline High School.