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In memory of

Debi Sikes

Holly Springs, NC, USA

June 17, 1956 - November 4, 2019

Jun 17, 1956 - Nov 4, 2019

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Debi Sikes, 63 years young, passed away at 10:56 am on Monday, November 4, 2019. She leaves behind her husband, Craig Sikes; daughters Jessica Williford and Melanie Sikes; a son-in-law Alan Williford; four grandchildren; Benny Williford, Lexi Cook, Abby Cook, Nicky Sikes; and so many friends that were family. She was "Nana" to her grandchildren, but she was Nana to many others.

Her last year had been a rough one in and out of the hospital with COPD and C. diff, eventually leading to her being bedridden. However, she may have been depressed about her situation, but still cared deeply for others. She asked about sick clients of mine, had concerns for family members and friends and often worried if somebody did not answer their phone if somebody should check on them.

Debi, even from a bed she could not get out of, still ruled the roost there is no denying that. She stayed involved any way she could, and made friends through a COPD Facebook group, had her daily and nightly calls to her friends. I am going to miss my morning call that I made to her every morning at 8:40 and I know some of her favorite people are missing talking to her daily. She communicated with many via Facebook messenger or online games. Some people she made feel special by having "their show" and it was their thing. This Is Us with a granddaughter, Survivor with a friend that she called a brother, and Any Day Now was mine.

Nana was the kind of lady who made sacrifices for the people she loved and for people she didn't even know. She would give the shirt right off her back if it meant somebody else not going without. I witnessed her give the last $5 she had in her pocket to a homeless man like it was nothing, and when I mentioned it, she commented that she felt he needed it more than her. Her wish, and her final sacrifice, was her body to be donated to science.

Debi was not rich financially, but she had an abundance of wealth that most will never achieve. She knew that family and friends were important, that love mattered more than dollars, animals give the best kisses and make the best friends, that laughter was the best medicine and her pranks would attest to that! Debi just liked seeing the others around her happy.

She grew up a little later than the hippie generation, but if you truly knew her, she was a hippie at heart. Debi had a love for reading that she passed on to both of her daughters. She enjoyed classic television like I Love Lucy and The Honeymooners.

Nana appreciated a good beer or two when she was younger, and had some wild days and some nights back then, that is evidenced by a few tattoos in some interesting places or coming home years ago with two Sombrero's from El Rodeo that were on the wall because the staff just loved her getting up to dance.

She lived life and loved the others around her and I hope each one of her grandchildren knows how proud of them she truly was. Getting to see Benny go off to college, and although he doesn't perform magic anymore, she was one of his biggest fans of card magic. She often talked about Lexi and her independence and nothing grossing her out, she thought Lexi could be the next doctor, nurse, or whatever she wanted to do in a medical field. Abby was her artist, and Nana often believed in her at a time when Abby was having trouble believing in herself. Little Nicky, she often remarked how he looked like a little version of her husband Craig, and how she wished she could have got to know him better before he moved out of state with his mom. She supported my husband by always sharing his art designs with others, and I am glad he got a chance to make a design specifically for her.

Debi was disabled in physical body, but boy did she make up for it in everything else. She was sad when diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis and had to drop out of nursing school, but she went on to get three degrees, and although she was not able to do anything with them because of her declining health, she and her family were proud of her. She believed education was important no matter what you did with it.

It was bittersweet staying with her through the night before she died, her holding my hand even though she couldn't communicate, opening the blinds and door to the patio for her to see outside when she hadn't been able to look out in so long, some deep conversations on my part but I like to think she understood. It was a joy to lay my head on her chest and sing her the Mercy Me song "Dear Younger Me" like I did every day when she was in the ICU: "Dear younger me, It's not your fault, You were never meant to carry this beyond the cross" was our favorite part and I hope in the end, she believed it. The only word she said that night between 12 am and 1 am was supper, and I know she was having the best supper of her life with Jesus, her parents, Granny (who probably was the one cooking of course!), and a host of other beloved family and friends. I told her how much I envied her being there, but I'll be there for the feast one day.

Debi felt like a burden sometimes, but she was anything but, and I wish she was here to know that we did not see her this way. After she passed, I kissed her fingers and stroked her hair and I cried, not for her, but for all of us left behind. I remember when they were transporting her that I could have sworn I heard her talking and my heart started being faster because of how true I wanted that to be. The worst was walking behind the stretcher as hospice stood and did the walk of honor because even though she was already gone, I didn't feel like it was truly goodbye until then. Saturday, October 26th she went to the ER and ended up in hospice November 1st, but she and all of us thought she would be going home to finish hospice. It seems so long ago, but at the same time, like it was just yesterday. I feel some days all cried out, and then a memory comes to me, and it all comes rushing back. The day she died, she gave me a sign she was at peace. I was driving home and I saw Peacocks with their feathers spread out on the side of the road, and I will never forget that.

There are two things I know she would want me to say to each of you and that is to live life and if you smoke or vape, please quit if you can. A favorite saying of hers was "I smoked one pack too many." COPD is an awful disease and I know she would not want to lose any of her friends and family to it. Rest in peace Debi Sikes.

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