You were supposed to be my big brother, a brother that loved me, a brother that took care of me and comforted me, but you turned away from me and our father, and ran after others that were not of kin. I, as your little sister needed you, and you forsook me, you loved others more than me, why? Did I not loved you when I held my eyes upon you? Did I not please you enough? Was our father not enough? I was angry for a long time and the more you strayed the more my anger grew. I hated you for the longest time, dear brother, and that hate consumed me, ate me alive. I saw your greatness and you grew like a giant, mighty in the eyes of men and weak in the eyes of God. You became like one of the great ones and my heart was unable to bear such strength. I flew away, angry, knowing I would never see my brother ever again. 

And I never did. I found you again and you have perished like the beasts of the fields and like the grass that grows you are now gone. A shiver went up my spine when I heard of your passing and then I knew that a mighty one had fallen. I can still hear the cry of your absence screaming in the world, and I can't shut it out!  Why, my dear brother, did you forsake me and our father? 

A few years ago I returned home, poor, needy and heart broken. I had a heart to heart talk with our father and he forgave me and loved me. How sweet is his love, it's sweeter than the honey and the honeycomb. I have forgiven much and my heart has softened and I cried from the depths of my soul for you, dear brother. 

Remember that day you walked by me and you didn't even turn to look at me, and at that time I had hated you exceedingly. But now as I look back I see you with loving eyes and took pity on my brother. No one saw your hurt, but I did. I saw your pain and you turned it into hatred and shut out everybody that didn't exult you and followed you... I didn't follow you then, but I cherished you as the big brother I so dearly wanted... Now I will never know if you ever saw me, standing in the sidelines, your little sister who waited to serve you day and night. Did you see me there watching, waiting for you to say something to me? I waited for you, dear brother. I am still here big brother, your sweet little sister who has returned to you, only to say goodbye. Your time ran. Where are they now, those that followed you? They don't follow you no more, big brother.

But I will follow you unto death, until then I keep running the race. Sleep, big brother for what is to come will be worst than what it was then. I still have a little bit of work to do before I join you.

I fear you left not knowing... I hope you knew, I wondered if you knew. Did you know big brother? Sleep now, my sweet brother, take your rest, always, your loving little sister.