Dear Relatives and Mutual Friends,
Dave and l were close friends for seven decades. He loved to express himself in writing. For the past quarter century his communications were mostly in the form of email messages. I may have archived all of them -- thousands, if anyone is now interested -- including probably most of his Politicus articles, of which he wrote nearly 1500. My comments below are an excerpt -- a slice -- of my many memories of him and of his many challenges, successes and defeats.
Dave's life could be characterized as consisting of a number of great arcs that were both separate and overlapping. Clearly his long relationship, love, activism and commitment to Nobles constituted one of those arcs. As recently as 2019, at the age of 76, he played in the annual Alumni Soccer Match against Milton Academy. He maintained many friendships that emanated from Nobles and was a participant is the reunions of the Classes of '61, '62, '63 and '64.
His friends, per se, represented another of the great arcs of his life. His friendships outside of Nobles' origin were widespread and he was always quick to introduce them to one another. As he liked to say, "You always like your friends to like your friends."
Of course, another of his great arcs was journalism, which led him to meet many, diverse people. With his excellent memory, genuine interest in people, news, politics and local, national and international affairs, and his unrestrained gift for gab, he quickly established rapport with people whom many others would have been too inhibited to engage. This was a part of his "force of nature" character that for all anyone knows came straight out of the pages of a lost Charles Dickens novel.
Another of the great arcs in his life was his 1842 Greek-revival house in Chestnut Hill Road, Jamaica Plain, which was in a variety of ways reminiscent of the national historic landmark Shirley-Eustic House in Boston, of which his father had been a Trustee and where Dave was active at one point in time. Dave's massive, years-long restoration project in JP started out as his pride and crowning glory and ended as his near bankrupting bane. And yet, when it was finally sold within the past year or so, it's unrealized equity turned out to be tremendous. It is now in the process of redevelopment by a local developer, who is preserving the oldest and most historically valuable front-half of the house, an outcome that Dave might begrudgingly acknowledge to be "as good as it gets."
Yet another great arc in Dave's life was his commitment and love of Ukraine: its people, history, spirit and, in particular, his only true love-of-his-life Oksana Stasiuk, whose untimely death in 2006 was heartbreaking and devastating to him. Dave visited Ukraine more than 20 times. In an act of pure altruism, he helped a young Ukrainian girl Oxana Tkachenko come to the US for a private-school education beginning for a year at Dexter-Southfield School in Chestnut Hill, then for three years at the White Mountain School in Bethlehem, NH, and finally for four years at Colby-Sawyer College. She is now married, living in Boston and has become an American citizen. She was able to attend Dave's service; it was wonderful to see her.
Of course, Dave had a few things in his life that bedeviled him. His love of John Barleycorn -- another of his great arcs -- was not the least among them. He fancied himself sometimes to have the constitution of Winston Churchill, whose consumption of most of a bottle of brandy while dictating important official correspondence to his secretary was legendary. But Dave's imbibing habits complicated his life in many diverse ways that in the end become cumulative and destructive. This is one of those situations in which "wherever there is great light, there is also great darkness." For all his great qualities, Dave was undoubtedly also in a lot of unacknowledged psychological and perhaps physical pain that only worsened with age. This was like the two masks of ancient Greek plays: comedy and tragedy. Sometimes it is difficult to tell them apart, and so it was with Dave. His "hail and farewell" presence covered up a lot of unresolved issues that were too complicated for him to talk about to his friends. And when one adds the near-divine power of his stubbornness to the mix, it became difficult to help him in times and situations, when he sorely needed help.
That's over now. And in its wake emerges the image of a life that was lived passionately and faithfully to his ideals and along the way one that helped a lot of people, whether they realize it or not.
Affectionately submitted in memory of an intrepid friend and a great communicator and humanist.
Paul W. Foss, N'61/'62
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