In memory of a kind and generous man that I was blessed to know as a close neighbour and friend whilst growing up in Felixstowe - I was welcomed into family  life with the Allens and spent many (too many!) happy hours ‘eating and running’; learning to sail with ‘Old Pa’ and just hanging out with this beautiful family. I will always have such happy memories of this time. 

Old Pa taught me to sail - ‘work hard, Kate - each and everyday - but sunny days - these are for sailing!’ I think of him often - especially when working on a sunny day! (Sorry Old Pa - as a Headteacher now, this is not always possible!) My children.both sail - his love of sailing was infectious and I believe lives on through them and doubtless many others he inspired. He also taught me about how the stock exchange works, (why he was always looking at numbers on the TV?) and of course about American Football - often encouraging us kids to ‘play ball’ with him - though I’m still a little confused about the rules. 

I last saw David at our wedding in 2002, with Jenny. I was so happy they were able to come. Their presence meant a lot to me. 

To the family, Jenny, Hilary and Chris - my American siblings for a while - and Candy - ‘my other Mum’ -  I am sorry for your loss and I am sending you all my love at this sad time. I hope you are comforted by those around you who can also share happy memories of your lovely dad/David/Old Pa. Xxx

In Memory of My Father

My father was my hero growing up. Somewhat of an enigma, he was a true Northeastern American -proud, resourceful, a self-made man. He stood tall in many ways. He worked so hard to be a good father, how much he tried to give us the life he never had.

And he did give us so much.

I remember him showing up, at soccer games, throwing the football in the park, at the beach flying kites, summers sailing... I remember magical Christmases, made possible in part by his hard-earned success in business. The beautiful homes he made for us in Scotland and later moving everything to Felixstowe, so our mother could be near one of the best oncology centers in England. I remember his booming American voice shouting "SHOOT! SHOOT!" at my soccer games - I still cringe - but he was one of only two dads there, and that mattered.

He took us to Bermuda, to France - to places I didn’t understand the value of until I was older. He showed us the world. And he did it with intention, with love he didn’t always know how to express, but gave in action, and in presence. I was so spoiled! He sold me his house in Aurora for the same price he paid, gifting me tens of thousands. He helped me find my first serious job after graduation with one of the companies he helped fund. He lent me his credit card when I first arrived in the U.S. just one of many kindnesses I didn’t fully appreciate at the time.

We parents are all imperfect. As a father myself, I see some of the reasons why. I understand the pressures. The quiet regrets. The fears. You tried so hard to be something better than what you came from. And you were. You were a hero. You had every right to feel proud of your family.  Thank you for the lessons and happy memories Dad. Love you.

My thoughts and prayers are with all of Dave's family,  friends and loved ones.  I am very sorry for your loss.  Our family and I had the pleasure of getting to know Dave during a week long Alaska cruise on a 9 passenger vintage boat in August of 2023.   Dave had a big personality and at first came across as quite confident.  I would refer to him as a leader in any situation.   Being totally honest, in some situations he and I might not have been each other's cup of tea but everyone on the boat got along famously.  After a while  we all started opening up and sharing our personal stories.  Dave shared a lot about his childhood and his life.  He was a proud man and accomplished much.   He also seemed to be very reflective and I think (like many of us) had regrets and wished some things were different.  He seemed very healthy to me and full of life.  He seemed to have a mixture of frustration of knowing he was not 25 years old anymore and determination to enjoy every moment.   He bonded with my daughter who was 13 at the time and he challenged her to jump into the water and race around the boat.   The water was about 40 degrees!   He wasn't joking - he and Patricia both did it.   Dave did a perfect swan dive into the water and came up hollering about how cold it was.   He was the hit of the boat that day!  None of us could believe that he did it, particularly my 13 year old.   Sometimes people act differently with strangers than they would with their friends or family.  As the trip went on, Dave told lots of stories and really opened up to his companions on the boat.   He spoke with pride of his accomplishments but also with humility and a lot of self reflection.  He had strong opinions but was also a good listener and thoughtful conversationalist.  He knew his audience and got along with a very diverse group.   I have called this adventure a "life changing experience" for me.   I can't imagine all that was going through Dave's mind but I know he really enjoyed the trip and he bonded with everyone in the group.   Life is hard, particularly families and personal relationships.   I want his family to know that, like my own father, I'm sure he could be difficult at times but it was clear to me that he loved his family.   Sometimes when someone dies in their 80's people say they lived a good life and were blessed.  In Dave's case, it seems to me that only his body was ready to go.   His soul, heart and mind were ready to go another 30 or so years.   He was full of energy, passion for life and seemed to be a life long learner.   In his case, he was also a great teacher.  He didn't give advice directly but the stories that he told about his life, his relationships etc. were great lessons.  I listened and the biggest take away was how fast life goes by and how we should all enjoy every moment.   I am grateful to have met Dave and will never forget him.  Rest in peace Dave!   My hope is that all of us can live life with the same passion of the 80 year old that jumped into the frigid waters of Alaska!

A seafood feast onboard Discovery — with Dave Allen

On the bow of Discovery — with Dave Allen

Dave's Alaska Cruise in August 2023 — with Dave Allen