SJ / Personal Remarks from the Service -
Hi everyone. For those of you I don’t know — although I think I know almost everyone here — I’m Sam, my dad’s oldest kid. And I just want to thank all of you for being here today. It means a lot to see so many people from different parts of his life.
Standing here is hard. This isn’t where we thought we’d be today. But seeing all of you — it just reminds me of how many people he cared for, and how many people cared for him. It brings me a lot of comfort to know how loved he was. And I hope, wherever he is right now, he can see and feel this love.
All three of us — me, my brother, and my sister — we each had our own special and unique relationship with our dad.
For me and my dad, he definitely passed down the “debate gene,” the same one he and Uncle Bill have. We could and would debate all kinds of things. A lot of the time it was about social justice, or psychology, or mental health, whatever big thing was happening in the world at that time or even something as silly as taking vitamins or drinking green juice and whether they were good for you or not. We also shared that personality trait where we would fixate on a random topic and get so excited about it — whether it was a fact we just learned for the first time and we wanted to learn more and to fact check that fact, something we were just generally curious about, a new show that we were excited to watch, or even a recipe we wanted to try. And then we would go down those rabbit holes, researching, fact-checking, binge watching the show or immediately going to the grocery store and getting everything we needed to make that recipe.
That was a big part of our bond.
That curiosity.
That need to understand the meaning behind things.
That instinct to question, to dig deeper, to explore, to try.
That’s something he passed on to me, and I’m forever grateful for it.
When we were in my dad’s apartment cleaning it out, we found this little bonsai tree Lego set he had started. Seeing it made me emotional for a few different reasons. First, it was just something so sweet. And it reminded me that even while he was struggling, he was still trying — trying to bring some joy into his space, trying to find some peace, trying to create some sense of normalcy, for lack of a better word.
Our family has always loved little games and puzzles and things you can tinker with. We each have our own version of that. And it felt like this was his way of staying connected to that happiness and to us through everything he was dealing with.
But I also know he didn’t choose that bonsai tree at random. Whenever he got into something, it was because it resonated with him — whether it was funny, historical, educational, sentimental, or symbolic. And of course, I immediately went down one of those rabbit holes to look up more about bonsai trees. So I’ll share a little bit about what I learned.
Bonsai trees represent a lot of really beautiful things.
They represent patience. Resilience. Steady growth.
They represent the idea that beauty can exist in something that has been through a lot. And people are often drawn to bonsai trees during times of transition, grief, or personal struggle.
The Lego set had two options: you could build it with just the green leaves, or you could choose the flowering bonsai with little blossoms. When Kristina and I finished it, I had chosen the flowering version — mostly because it felt more complete and, honestly, it was prettier.
But later I wondered if there was a difference in meaning between flowering and non-flowering bonsai, and I learned that a flowering bonsai symbolizes hope. It symbolizes renewal. It symbolizes softness and peace returning after hardship.
All of this made me so sad but meant so much to me because in that moment, I knew how much he was trying.
Trying to bring peace into his space.
Trying to hold on to something positive.
Trying to feel grounded again, even in the midst of everything he was experiencing
I’m so grateful we got to finish it because it feels like the last thing we got to do together. And I’m grateful this is something we get to hold onto, because it will always remind me that he tried and that his struggles were only a part of his journey. They were never who he was at his core.
And I pray, with all my heart, that he has found peace. That he can rest.
Everyday, I will imagine him looking down at us, enjoying everything he loved through us — the laughter, the ridiculous jokes, the meals, the dog walks, watching football, the debates that I know he will be yelling his opinion at us or calling BS on something from wherever he is.
I hope he knows how much we love him. He was never alone. And he’s not alone now.
And to my brother and sister — Dad loved us so much. And I love you both so much. I know how proud he is of us in this moment, and in how we’re taking care of each other and honoring him the best way we know how.
We love you Dad.
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