Memories of Dakota "Kotaka-Kota-Smoochie-Moochie" Marshall Sullivan Willard

In memory of

Dakota "Kotaka-Kota-Smoochie-Moochie" Marshall Sullivan Willard

Greenville, SC, USA

December 16, 1995 - February 11, 2019

Dec 16, 1995 - Feb 11, 2019

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Tasha Mobley

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Megan Fisher

It’s been 3 years today, and I still think about him often. Memories pop up out of nowhere and I still get emails and phone calls for people trying to reach him. I miss him but I’m happy he’s relaxed and happy somewhere in the universe 💜

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Rebecca Tant

Tasha Mobley

Sydney B

Hey, Koty. I miss you. I know we didn’t keep in touch much & I wish we had. We met at such a weird time in my life & you honestly helped me through so much. You picked up the phone whenever I needed you. I know things weren’t always the best for you, but you deserved so much more than what happened. I will never, ever forget you. Hell, I still have your name scrawled across the walls of my childhood bedroom. Rest easy, baby boy. I love you.

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Rebecca Tant

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Kelsey Kirby

I miss you, Koty. More than words can ever describe. My heart still hurts and I feel like there's this void in me now that you're gone. You were such a sweet, caring, lovable guy. You had this old and rare soul that was just too good for this world. I know you had your fair share of troubles and I hate that you're gone now. I just wish I could hug you one more time and tell you how much you meant to me. How much I loved you. I'll always love you, Koty. <3

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Rebecca Tant

Phoebe Mobley-Willard

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Tasha Mobley

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Becca Gregory

Duncan Village Apartments, Duncan Street, Duncan, SC, USA

Still trying to wrap my head around the fact that your gone... I have so many memories with you and your family the one that sticks out the most is when i had isaiah and yall nicknamed him gollum oh how i hated it but i would give anything to hear you picking on me and my kiddo again until we meet again koty fly high love and miss you 😭😭

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Rebecca Tant

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Rebecca Tant

I remember when ya had to get Candie cuz his nose wouldn't stop bleeding everywhere & she was the only one... Read more I remember when ya had to get Candie cuz his nose wouldn't stop bleeding everywhere & she was the only one he would listen to ... Read more I remember when ya had to get Candie cuz his nose wouldn't... Read more

Miranda Debeau

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Briana Smith

2018, Greenville, SC, USA

I remember the first time we met. You was working at Applebee’s and I had a crush on you. I finally said something to you and I use to come to Applebee’s to see you and get a couple drinks. You met my friends we all hit it off and we all went back to your place for a little while when you got off and you and my friend played the guitar and it was a great night we laughed and talked. I miss you so much 😭❤️💔

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Rebecca Tant

Kathryn Oliver

2011

Dakota, you were my best friend, my entire reason for happiness. You helped me through one of the hardest times of my life. You were always there for me, even if it was the middle of the night. You always picked up the phone. I would give anything in this world to hear you tell me you love me just one more time, and feel you kiss me on the cheek, or the forehead. I love you so much Koty. Save a spot at the lunch table for me because I know well have so much to talk about.

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Rebecca Tant

Jesse Howard

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Tracey DesRosiers

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Harley Howard

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Jesse Howard

Nina Gray

Im so sorry to my friends and the family that has lost this sweet boy. I'm so sorry the lives involved were ruined and I am grateful to have known him.

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Rebecca Tant

Marquita Pearson

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Jesse Howard

"It's name is Cash, like Johnny Cash, and I love it cuz it's black like my soul!! "

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Harley Howard

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Chase Tanner

Jesse Howard

Harley Howard

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Jessica Taylor

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Mark Williamson

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Olivia Geiger

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Jesse Howard

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Phoebe Mobley-Willard

Matthew Parks

Dakota, I only knew you for a short time, but that was long enough for me to know I liked you. You were a very unique person who I enjoyed talking with. As young as you were you had a true understanding of the world an d how you fit in it. Mikey, Mark, Andrew, Becky and I miss you so much, you always made us laugh and could cheer us up no matter how bad of a day we were having. I miss you man, and I hope you are chillin with some beautiful women, drinking some mango margaritas, and hanging with Stan Lee. Thank you once again for being my friend and coming into my life.

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Chase Tanner

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Scott Garnett

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Chase Tanner

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Jesse Howard

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Rebecca Tant

I love this still & it is so very true <3 I love this still & it is so very true <3 I love this still & it is so very true <3

Chase Tanner

I wish I could say this to you now...but seeing the way things are the best thing to do would just be to say this here. So here goes nothing:

Dakota, as much as I hate the circumstances of your death, it comes with small surprise. Because I know how your lifestyle was. You never stayed in the same place twice; constantly drifting around. You also didn't have a lot in life, and didn't consider yourself to be a very material person. That's why you were such a frivolous spender and didn't mind holding down small time jobs at random places. You didn't feel like you had to prove anything to the world, and if people didn't like you, well, you didn't really fucking care. The only thing tying you down was yourself, and you didn't hesitate to cut people or places off and move on - No matter how bad it hurt or what the consequences would be.

That's what made you so unique, Dakota. You were an enigma. Something that the world couldn't figure out or put it's finger on. To most people, they didn't like that; because they were either jealous or put off by such a lack of understanding. To them, you were someone that they either secretly craved to be or just ignorantly dismissed. I know that I used to get so jealous of your ego and your confidence in the face of all situations. So calm, cool, and collected. That's why you leave such a legacy behind you. Whether they liked you or not; you impacted them. Regardless if that impact was negative or positive, you left one on just about anyone that took the time to talk to you.

At one point you convinced Brett and I to take you to Virginia Beach so you could go move in with that Veronica lady. One of the first times I ever moved out of my parents house was thanks to you talking to Judy about me moving in with you, Rebecca, and Katie. Some of my first times going on a lengthy road trip or just driving with no destination was with you. I used to wake up to phone calls from you on my days off at 9am because you never slept past 11am and wanted to make the best of the day. There were times I would stay in the spare bedroom at your Mom's house accross the hall from your room. We used to stay at each other's houses all the time for days on end driving our parents crazy with our antics. Staying up all hours of the night watching Dragon Ball Z: Abriged and listening to Tool. Jamming out together with Scott on acoustic guitar or just watching you two play. How excited you got when Logan sold you his old drum set and watching you teach yourself the drums in just a few weeks. I could talk about memories with you for days; but the feelings evoked are the same in every one. I wish the world could have seen more of the Dakota I remember in memories like these.

You were so compassionate and loving towards everyone. You were truly a talented and unique individual. You would give a stranger the shirt off of your back in an instant. That's just who you were. You genuinely loved life and you loved the world you lived in. You never had a car or got your license, but that never stopped you from finding your way to get around. I mean, it seemed like you were constantly moving and on the go. Life was never satisfying enough for you. Always on the hunt for the next best thing to try and meet your insatiable lust for life. We all admired you for that. You had such an awesome approach to life, Dakota. You may have made your mistakes and bad decisions, but that's part of learning and growth as a person.

As time went by, we all got older and started to settle down; but you didn't. I remember as the years went by, I eventually moved out of Judy's house, found someone to love, and tried to make a new life for myself. Unfortunately, we both grew apart from that; we started walking on different paths in life. Then, suddenly, things blew up between us when certain things came to light. After a long time of being best friends, I had to push you away. I had to prioritize my lifestyle for what I thought was to be my future, my happiness, and wellbeing. It was one of toughest things I've ever had to do. It felt like losing a brother. Like losing a part of myself.

Life doesn't always work out beautifully, though. Eventually I lost more than just you. The things I invested in and planned on being there suddenly weren't. I had taken for granted everything in my life and became something I didn't recognize when I looked in the mirror. I ended up going through one of the hardest times in my life, and I selfishly blamed you for a lot of it. I grew such resentment for you as a person and I completely cut you off. I didn't try to see things from your perspective or offer you understanding. I just despised you for all of it and removed you from my life altogether. It was an easier solution than trying to do the right thing.

In hindsight, that was a huge mistake. I should have tried to be reasonable. I shouldn't have let so much come between us, Dakota. I'm truly sorry for that. I should have reached out to you as a friend when I needed someone. Back when I lost everything and found myself sleeping on Brett and Krystle's floor. When I was homeless, unemployed, no car, no license. Nothing. I was so lost and I needed someone. You could have offered me empathy with your ramshackle lifestyle. You could have been a shoulder to lean on and someone to hold me up when I was crumbling in on myself. Instead I pushed you away. I didn't want anything to do with you.

If you're up there looking down on me, know that I am deeply saddened by my lack of understanding towards your situation. I know now that you never meant to hurt me personally. That was just who you were. You couldn't help your tendencies and little quirks. You loved everything and everyone the best way you could. Who were we to ask anything more of you? I rest easy knowing that you're at peace, little brother. You don't have to struggle with your bipolar, anxiety, depression, or anything. You're flying high in the clouds now. You don't have to worry about anything anymore. You don't have to drift around worrying about your next meal or where you're gonna lay your head that night. Trying to hold down a job and find rides to and from work. You're finally at peace. I'm sorry that it couldn't come at a smaller price.

I wish I could have apologized and talked to you about things before this happened. I should have made that attempt instead of just cutting you out of my life entirely. There's no excuse for that, all I can do now is reflect and move forward. I don't know what sort of things you're supposed to take from a tragedy like this; but I have certainly learned something important from losing Dakota...Forgiveness. He has taught me that life is entirely too short and precious for holding grudges and petty disagreement. You never know what tomorrow holds(or the next moment, for that matter). If anyone out there has anyone in their life that they hate or resent, don't wait around on it. Don't keep feeding into those feelings. One day you, too, will wake up and realize it's too late to try and make amends. You've said what you've said, you've written what you've written, and that's it.

The time for forgiveness is now! Rejoice amongst friends and enemies, alike!! No person on this Earth should be seen by another as weak, inferior, or insignificant. We are all important and we all matter! This lesson was painful to learn so please heed my mistakes. Life happens in an instant; and we are only guaranteed one moment at a time. Don't spend these precious moments full of regret and pain.

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Rebecca Tant

Megan Fisher

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Jessica Taylor

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Jesse Howard

This is beautiful. This is beautiful. This is beautiful.

Melanie Houck

Lyman, SC, USA

First time with Dakota around the fire playing his guitar. He was a phenomenal, natural musician. We gave him a ukelele for Christmas that year. I thought it was an odd thing to want, but that was Dakota😊

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