How do I say so long to my beloved big sister, Cyndy Nelson?
Three words come to mind: Inspirational. International. Indefatigable.
As we were growing up, Cyndy and I always shared a room. She was my role model, truly an inspiration. Of course we had our ups and downs. We were only 18 months apart, after all. But she gave me so much. I watched as she got her first "real" job, at Hubbub at South Coast Plaza. I admired that so much! It's where she met her friend Liz, and I thought they were so cool. And later she introduced me to Jan and Jeannie -- two other great friends who were also role models for me as I navigated what it meant to be a young woman coming of age in the mid-1970s.
When she went off to college at San Diego State, I could only admire her as she drove off in her distinctive lime green car. She came home often, and would counsel me so much! I was completely lost, 17 years old, and unsure what to do with my life. She took me in hand, invited me to move in with her one summer at Ocean Beach, and was patient and kind. While in OB I lived with her and her college roommates -- so fun!
It didn't stop there. After she graduated I too was firmly enrolled in college, thanks to her inspiring advice and guidance but I mostly learned from her just watching the way she lived. I'll never forget one time we all got into our housecar (a converted bread truck) and drove to the Grand Canyon without parents, just all of us kids. Now that was fun!
After college, she took off for Aspen. She had, after all, gone straight from four years at Mater Dei to four years in college and likely needed a break. I met up with her in Aspen and stayed six weeks during my break between graduating from Orange Coast Junior College and transferring to Cal Poly, San Luis Obispo. We had so much fun. She worked as a checker at the local market in Aspen and we went skiing and dancing and hiking and loved every minute. Again, she showed me what I could do after college -- a role model for sure.
Fast forward to international. Cyndy and JR and the girls were constantly on the go. JR would take business trips to Europe and they'd bring the kids along and my Mom too. Cyndy never heard about a trip she didn't like and always had a bag packed. When they moved to Hong Kong for several years they invited Chris and Josh to come visit -- I think they were about 10 years old at the time. They went with my Mom and Bunny and it was such a treat for all of them. Later, IBM moved them back home and I laughed when Cyn told me the inside joke about what IBM means ... I've Been Moved!
We connected often over the years. Cyndy and the entire Nelson clan made visiting us and making sure the girls spent time with their cousins a top priority, whether it was in Vegas, Costa Mesa, or San Diego. Coming from the East Coast it was a schlep for them every time. But the whole family prioritized visiting and the cousins bonded and had great relationships that would become lifelong.
When Kalynne was in high school she and I took a trip to Beijing to visit Jess, and connected with Cyndy on part of that trip as well. It was such a treat.
And that leads me to her being indefatigable. Flying the whole family cross country multiple times -- not an issue. Supporting our mom with her personal and financial needs, of which there were many -- she never stopped. Fighting and beating breast cancer -- she did it with dignity and grace.
I will always treasure my last two conversations with Cyndy, which were long (always!) and memorable. We talked about everything, with her many questions about Josh, Kalynne, and Glen always a central topic. She was back to her old self and it was wonderful. The last time we talked, just before going into hospice, she said she was going to fight, fight, fight -- "I will do everything they tell me to," and she was ready.
I'm so glad to have had those conversations, plus my recent visit to Philly with Erin when Cyndy was in hospice. I treasure my relationship with my sister and her memory is a blessing. It is strong and will sustain me in the future through so much as I recall who she was and what she did for me. I am who I am today because she was there for me -- not once but multiple times.
I'll miss you Ninny! I love you Cyn Sawn! And it was great being sisters with you. Keep an eye on Mom and Dad in heaven LOL.
- Karyn
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