Cody….I miss you. I just miss you. I can’t believe another birthday is here but you aren’t. There is still no explanation that will ever make sense to me. I think about you every single day. I still have your phone number in my contacts on my phone. I can’t find it in me to delete it. I don’t think I ever will. I went through stages of anger, hurt, depression and just about every other emotion you can think of and now I’ve decided this just isn’t fair. 

I hope you and your dad are fishing every day. I hope you are visiting your momma, Kasey and Kendra in their dreams, every chance you get. I hope you think of all of us from time to time because we sure do miss you. We are getting older and just falling apart. I love you and I miss you desperately. I can’t wait to see you again. I will see you again soon. Love, Your Aunt Rita

I wrote this on the anniversary of your death but I couldn’t make myself send it. It’s been 6 years since you left us. SIX LONG YEARS !! It doesn’t seem possible but there’s not been one day in that 6 years that I haven’t thought about you. I miss you with everything in me. I hope you’ve had the time to find that big old fishing hole in Heaven . I hope the fish are biting all the time. I hope you get to ride to the game  on a big old cloud when Denver plays. I hope Denver wins from time to time. Even though Denver still stinks I hope the players man up and play a good game, just for you.

I’ve got a confession to make. I was really angry at you for leaving us the way you did. I was upset for Colton but he seems to be doing okay. It helps that he has an awesome momma. I was mad at you for leaving me like this. You had built such a wonderful life and you were headed to really good places and I wanted to see you get there. I thought this might get easier but it doesn’t. 

That brings me to here. I need a couple of favors too. Your mom is devastated. I guess she always will be. Please visit her a little more in your dreams. I’m hopeful that might help her in some way because I worry about her every day. Your daddy needs to see you more too. He basically died the same day you did and he’s just waiting for God to come get him. Do what you can for him because I love him so much.

That brings me to your sisters. I finally know how your sisters feel because they’ve lost their brother and protector. I’m losing mine too although he’s very much alive…thank God. But the Larry we all knew is gone and his memories are too. Do what you can for them too. I need you to focus on Brenda. She’s been through so much and she’s hurting.  Poor Jerry has to be the big brother now and his baby sister is a total wreck. He’s going to have his hands full but he’s always been something special to me. Remind him of that for me when you go see him.

I’m going to stop this for now. Please know how empty I feel without you. I love and miss you so much that my heart hurts. Don’t forget to visit your sisters often. 

                                                               I love you ! I’ll always be your favorite Aunt Rita