Being the oldest of the siblings, I had a few years of access without anyone else around.
My life with "Cat" began when I was about 11 years old. I recall meeting her while playing racquetball with my Dad. What seemed to be not long after, Dad and Cat moved to Dothan, Alabama. We visited over the summer and one Christmas. I recall having laughter often but I was young and angry...after all, in my mind, I wasnt her kid. She went around the neighborhood and had us lined up to meet with others for things to do. We went to the home of a chicken farmer who had kids our age. We rode go karts and horses and had homemade ice cream...But I wasn't her kid. She convinced a neighbor who played guitar to come over to the house to sing songs to us....but I wasnt her kid. When I was 12 I began living with Dad and Cat in Tennessee. I was a fat kid and needed to slim up. Dad started me with running at the high school track. Before long, Cat was taking me running. I wasn't too good at doing my homework. Cat would sit at the kitchen table with me and have me do my work, or read the assigned chapters in my schoolbooks. When I declared, I was finished reading, she'd look through the chapter and ask me questions to make sure I (a) really read it, or (b) understood it.
I had a desire to pursue my Jewish heritage and have a Bar Mitzvah. In the days before google, Cat researched and interviewed all Jewish school options in the area. She then made appointments and took me to interview them myself. Upon making my choice, she made arrangements for me to attend Hebrew school every week. She arranged for me to get there after school and have dinner along the way. She helped me study. She made connections with the congregation so I could get further help given I started so late in the process. She made arrangements for the celebration of my Bar Mitzvah.
I had braces at that time and she was obsessed with making sure I didnt eat anything that the dentist said was risky. No nuts, no ice. For my birthday, she made my favorite cake. Grandma's devil's food cake with marshmallow icing. But, given that Cat was artistic and creative. She decided to be creative with my cake and filled it with nuts and frozen m&ms. She then recalled I couldnt eat them. Its funny now. Admittedly, I ridiculed the move at the time.
I remember she would send me letters when I was away at camp or in the Marines. She would include a drawing she had done. Sometimes of the area, sometimes of her perspective from the dinner table. One that I will never forget is a sketch from her point of view. David right in front of her, Toni to one side and dad to the other. Dad and Toni arent seen in the picture, they are just represented by comment bubbles reflecting what they said. That drawing summed up our family at the time and I wish I still had it.
She wrote me letters and shared her musical tastes when I was in Desert Storm. I had been around Simon & Garfunkel, The Beatles, and Elvis. Cat brought me into David Bowie, Cream, she tried with Joan Baez but that didnt take. She sent me videos while was overseas. One I remember in particular was Pink Floyd's The Wall.
I am lucky. I have had to the opportunity to express to her these memories I have. I was able to tell her about how she has helped me and has made me smile along the way. I was able to thank her.
From my perspective....Cat showed, through her actions, what it truly means to express unconditional love. I said earlier in this writing that I wasnt her kid. That was what I felt at that young age. And while she didnt have to do it, and its true I wasnt her kid......She sure was my mom.
Thank you Cat.
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