Carroll,
How could I ever thank you? How could I ever tell you how much you mean to me? You stepped into our life with open arms and an open heart and you never wavered in your love for me and our family. You met me when I was 24 years old, still coming into myself and adulthood. Freshly mourning the loss of Marlene, while actively grieving the situations my Mom continuously put us through...and you and I bonded. You stepped in and extended your empathetic heart and ears to me, you listened and gave me wise words, and your wisdom and life experience became part of my maturity and growth. You never let me forget who I am. You saw me through to my core, pain, warts and all.
You also encouraged me to laugh again and tell jokes. I'll admit there is nothing better than the sound of getting you to laugh to the point of tears and so I would work on the ways I would tell my stories and punchlines time them just right when we would talk to ensure your biggest laugh. I lived for those moments because you're one of the few people who gave me undivided attention. You're one of the only people who listened to not hear me but understand me. And I knew and have always felt in my heart that you were placed in our lives to teach us how to be more compassionate, to listen and visit, to tell stories, and be present. You never stopped caring and looking out for me.
The most beautiful thing about our relationship is all of our heart to hearts about all of life's moments. You always offered me the best advice and shared your experience and vulnerabilities with me. These are the things I will always be most grateful for and the memories I will carry with me always.
I also look at you as a positive realist. What is that? Well, to me, that's someone who will tell you what it is while also staying positive about life and the outcome. If I had a dollar for every time you told me the God honest truth with the sweet delivery of the words "Well honey..." as the pretense, I would be able to buy a new car. Ha! What I'm saying is no matter the situation, no matter what you had to tell me, you never started it off without reminding me in your own special way that I was loved and cared for.
As an aunt, you showed me the true value of an aunt and niece relationship something I promise to uphold with Athena. She will know through the ways you taught me unconditional love and an open-door policy. she will know you in the ways I will laugh to the point of tears when she retells her stories. She will know you in a gentle way I will call her honey anytime she confides in me no matter how big or small. She will know you because like you, for me, I will always be there for her. And like you, she will know you because I will do everything I can to embody your unconditional love.
There is absolutely nothing that could have been done to prepare me for these moments. I am finding myself with a huge ache and longing in my chest and soul. You are beloved beyond any measure and you are one of the strongest women I know.
Thank you for being my rock, my family, my aunt, and most importantly, my friend. Your love will always be with me and you will always walk with me for as long as I live.
I love you, Carroll,
Desi, Neice, Chicago