There is very little I can add to what Kevin and Melinda have already said about our exceptional mother. The only thing I can include is that she was always there. For me and for the rest of the family.

Mom was there for her mother when her father died. She helped my grandmother with funeral arrangements and all the other tasks that fall to the family when a loved one dies. This while juggling 3 small children under the age of six.

Mom was at my dance recitals, choir performances, and swim meets. She helped me rehearse for The Song of Norway performance in 9th grade. She designed and made my costumes and even sacrificed her wedding gown for the cause.

Mom was there to teach me to drive starting at 11 years old, driving the Mercury station wagon home from the club after a day of swimming. She was there when I had my first drink (my parents thought it was better to learn to drink at home with supervision). Mom took me to lunch at the Iron Works for my first public margarita after signing me out of school after her “shift” at the Career Center.

She was there at all the football games (Jr. High and High School) when I was a pom pom girl. She made uniforms and chauffeured us wherever we needed to go, including pom pom camp. Mom sat in the stands and participated in all the cheers and routines, encouraging my brothers and sister to support me too. She made runs to A & W to get root beer for the football team after the games at Terman.

As Melinda mentioned, Mom and Dad were at all the dances, chaperoning the students and earning my friends appreciation as the “cool” parents. Mom gave me someone to talk to so I didn’t feel so much like a wallflower.

Mom was there when I got engaged and supported me during three canceled weddings and one ceremony (even though she had no idea why this was happening to her daughter). She was very helpful leading up to and during the celebration and ensured everyone had a great time.

Mom was there when I had my son. Holding my hand, wiping my brow, and explaining why I couldn’t go home when I thought I couldn’t keep going. She stuck with me until I got an epidural and then everything got much better for everyone. We were even able to enjoy the 49ers on Monday Night Football. Once the game was over, she watched the doctor use forceps to pull her grandson into the world and assured me that he was ok even though the cord had been wrapped around his neck.

Mom was there after we took Pat home and came running on the day when I needed a break. All moms can relate to that moment when you just need to have a shower! She was there to take care of Pat (alternating two days a week with Jeanne) so he wouldn’t need to go to daycare at such an early age.

Mom was there for my grandmother when she was battling breast cancer. She was there for anything my grandmother needed at any time, but especially during the times when grandma wasn’t well. When my grandmother couldn’t be on her own anymore, my mom moved her into her home so that she could care for her. Mom made sure my grandmother was surrounded by family when she went to join my grandfather.

Mom was there for her sister and nephew when she battled breast cancer. She was there to support my cousin during my aunt’s final days. She was also there for her brother when he got sick and supported his children in his final days and funeral.

Mom was always there for my dad. Kevin and Melinda illustrated how she supported Dad in all of his adventures. She also stayed by his side during the difficult times. She moved away from family to Arizona to help with his property investments. She missed the time that she could have spent with her grandchildren, but knew it was for the best at that time.

Most recently, Mom was there for my dad during his battle with leukemia. She made his final months as enjoyable as possible. She helped organize us to bring him home. And with the help of Kevin and Michele offered him the opportunity to die close to his family and friends. I can’t imagine how difficult it was for her to watch her partner of so many years (even before marriage) waste away. This process just emphasized her desire to “die quickly” in her sleep. Although things did not go exactly to her plan, it was very close. She died in Melinda’s arms, after looking out at the ocean and watching a morning of Wimbledon.

My prayer is that she felt we were there for her in the same way she has always been there for us. I will always miss her every day and love her with all my heart. 

My mom Carole embodied strength and independence, much like her own mother. As a talented hairdresser, she co-owned three salons with my dad, blazing a trail as one of the few working mothers in our town. Despite her busy career, she tirelessly raised four spirited children and volunteered at every event we participated in. I used to wonder why my parents were always chaperoning, while my friends seemed 'lucky' to be free from their parents' watchful eyes. It wasn't until later that I realized they volunteered to ensure those events could happen.

Mom and Dad worked tirelessly in their salons all day, only to rush to our school dances, ensuring we always had fun activities to enjoy. At Gunn High School, Mom dedicated herself to counseling students in the Career Center, providing guidance to those not bound for college on how to prepare for their careers. Her absence would have meant the center could not operate.

She wholeheartedly supported Dad in his ventures and investments, and together they maintained discipline and love in our house. They taught us invaluable life skills—setting tables, standing up for each other, and the importance of chores and independence. Summers were filled with volunteering; I remember Candy Striping at Sequoia Hospital, where Mom and Dad's love story began in Redwood City.

From early days, Dad pursued Mom with determination, overcoming obstacles like Grandma's caution against the "hillbillies from Tennessee." He’d ride her on his bike and take a car load of her friends to ice cream, movies, and the beach. 

Dad enlisted in the Air Force to be a pilot, but his 20/30 vision led him to lead the first ever flight simulation training course. He married my mom and their journey took them through many moves, having Shauna in South Carolina, then moving back home to California. Mom earned her cosmetology license at the College of San Mateo, and dad followed. 

They settled in Santa Clara and invested in beauty shops. Mom worked at the Los Altos salon in Village Corner and the Farley’s Style Center at Woodside Shopping Center. Grandpa Farley hauled dirt during the I-280 construction, so mom and dad invested in land nearby. They built our house in Los Altos Hills, where they raised us a lived for forty years. 

Mom's warmth extended to all our friends, joining us in countless adventures from backpacking, horse riding, swimming and diving. We answered the phone with a family motto (“Farley residence, Melinda Farley speaking”), and worked in the shops (“Farley’s Style Center, how may I help you?”)  We rotated weekly chores, and were the DIY housekeepers and gardeners! Do it yourself was our motto. We worked on cars, built decks, hot tubs, learned to sew, cleaned the shops, and weeded, weeded, weeded.

Mom supported all of dad’s adventures (flying, photography, sailing, etc). She co-piloted on family vacations (I was 24 before taking my first commercial flight… so Tijuana was the extent of my international travel up til that point).

After retirement they moved to Napa and bought a sailboat (another of the great adventures). Sailing north having purchased das boat in San Diego, they hit rough weather and 25 foot swells. Mom finally bailed in Monterey and dad motored the rest of the way to Napa. For the first time, mom got to pick new furniture and started to socialize. She met amazing friends who introduced her to Grey Goose and an occasional cigar. It’s the first time I’d ever heard her swear, laughing and dropping an f-bomb in hysterics! She made sure the house could accommodate the whole family and we visited often. They played tennis every day, and dad enjoyed an occasional golf game. They bought a place in Casa Grande AZ so they could play tennis year around. 

As a grandmother, Mom was unparalleled in her love for Patrick, Kaitlyn, Cole, Megan, and Halle. After Dad's passing, she found solace in Bodega Bay, surrounded by books and the soothing sounds of the ocean, where she welcomed us with open arms. She sailed to heaven on a gorgeous sunny day, at home watching Wimbledon and listening to the seals barking in the distance.

Mom, you were more than a mother to me—you were my best friend. Your love and warmth enriched our lives beyond measure. Enjoy your weekly meetups with Grandma Marge and Aunt Bev… save a Jack&7 for me. Until we meet again, you will forever be in my heart. XOXOXOX

My first memory of my mother was her yelling at a Forty Niner game on television. A passionate sports fan, she agonized over every Niner game, rooted tirelessly for the Warriors, and although she let herself be dragged to some A’s games, she was a Giants fan to the core. But more than anything, she loved Tennis; playing most of her life, always watching otherwise. 

 A voracious reader, I remember her sitting me on her lap and reading the classics to me; I can still remember the voice for Phineas Fogg in “Around the World in 80 Days”. (A man I think she admired because he had all sort of adventures without seeming to get dirty or sleep on the ground.) She loved the outdoors, but she had one word for camping, and that was “Ahwahnee”.

She met my father in high school, but her second love affair was the sea. Born in the South on the Gulf and could swim as early as she could walk, she loved the water. Growing up in California, one of her favorite things was to accompany her father on his trips up and down the coast. He was tasked with inspecting the lighthouses along the Pacific coast, and she never tired of the Pacific.

My mother was tenacious; a trait she passed on to us kids. Once she took my Grandmother in her little ’72 Toyota to pick us up from a Backpacking trip. In the days before Google Maps, she followed a road that ostensibly took her to the trailhead. It started as a two lane blacktop, then one lane, then gravel, a dirt road, then eventually a one foot wide hiking trail through the Sierras. An hour later a Boy Scout troop on a rugged mountain hike was startled to encounter two women in a compact car bouncing along over rocks in the opposite direction. “Just taking my mom for a Sunday drive!”

Not surprisingly, she got where she was going.

A sharp wit, she didn’t suffer fools gladly, and I noticed that her friends were all cut from the same cloth; intelligent, a good if slightly warped sense of humor, and unafraid to stick up for what they believed. A quiet person in a noisy clan, she always seemed to have the memorable comment at the end of the evening. She raised us to stick up for ourselves, to try new things, to be responsible and polite, and generally succeeded on the first three points at least.

Over the past few years after my father passed away, she commented frequently on how fortunate she felt to be able to read a book with the Tennis Channel on, and the view of waves breaking over the reef offshore. I think if you threw in a plate of Negri’s spaghetti, she’d call that heaven.

She has been such a huge part of my life that she is with me every moment, and it’s impossible to imagine that she won’t be there to greet me.