“Catching Up” With Brian Foster

I met Brian in the Fall of 1975 on the football field at Imperial Valley Junior College. Many of us from the different small towns of the Valley met that way. One year we were rivals and the next friends on the same team. Besides our friendship that developed on the grid iron, we became close in the off-season over the next couple of years: camping, going to concerts and, of course—in those days—partying!

He was always an adventurous guy while I was the consistent conservative who didn’t necessarily like big crowds or “the lets do ‘that’ over there….looks dangerous!” However, I look back with fond memories and thank him for forcing me to drive to San Diego in 1976 to watch this band at the Sports Arena called “Queen”….still one of the most memorable concerts I’ve ever attended.

We lost track between ’77 and ’82 as I was off to U of New Mexico and flight school, but I was certain we would “catch up” in the future. In 1982 I got orders to NAS Miramar with no place to stay, a broken down VW Bug and about $500 in my wallet. Brian and Pam took me in for a week or two while I scoured the want-ads for an affordable apartment in a place I always wanted to live: Pacific Beach.

Soon Carol (my future bride) and I were living it up in a not-so-ritzy, $235/month studio and spending some of our spare time with Brian and Pam either at the beach or riding motorcycles. I don’t believe anything I ever did in the Navy—including an ejection--was as frightening as trying to “catch up” with those two riding motorcycles on a misty morning leaning into the curves of the Sunrise Highway in the Laguna Mountains!

Carol and I moved to Poway in 1983 with plans to always “catch up” with Brian and Pam but we again lost track until about 2010. I know it was just a phone call but we immediately found common ground in we both enjoyed hiking. I remember he was a bit peeved because he wanted to hike Vulcan Mountain near Julian but the Sheriff’s Department closed it due to a foot of snow….which is exactly why he wanted to hike it!! I didn’t know anything about Vulcan Mountain, but now I have photos dating back to 2011 of dozens of times Carol and I and Lucy have done that beautiful hike with views of the Ocean to the west and of the Imperial Valley to the east….all thanks to a “catch up” phone call with Brian.

We finally “caught up” in person again in 2015 with a couple of trips to the Zoo and the Wild Animal Park. We talked about everything including our Grand Canyon hiking experiences. Carol and I had done a down and back in one day. Of course Brian topped that with a Rim-to-Rim. For those not familiar, a Rim-to-Rim for people in their mid-50s is no small feat…in fact, it’s one of those “looks kind of dangerous” hikes. We even had breakfast at the king of greasy spoons in North Park that day which would have made a “regular” at Waffle House cringe in disgust! But, hey, it reminded me of my mom’s home cooking: if it ain’t fried, it ain’t died and there’s nothing another ladle of brown gravy can’t fix.

Brian dropped by our house in Poway about 6 months ago. We “caught up” and were finally making plans to do that Vulcan Mountain hike for the first time together. We missed that chance as Carol and I were in Europe on 9 April when we got word that Brian was scratched from the line up. It wasn’t quite the way I wished it to end, but we are all going to “catch up” with Brian sooner or later. Some of us are on the bench or in the hole. Others are on deck or even in the box. Brian did A-Okay with his “at bat.”

In all those years of on-again, off-again crossing of paths, it is only now that I note the Brian I met in 1975 had not changed a bit. Yes, I know that he reformed some of his bad habits over 3 decades ago, but the guy I met in 1975? The one that was always accepting, always helpful, always calm yet up for a new adventure? The guy with the dry sense of humor who could sarcastically tell an underhanded joke with a straight face that you didn’t really understand until about 10 minutes later? That guy hadn’t changed a bit! We were both lucky to have known him and call him our friend. Carol and I will miss him dearly. 

Brian and music - Brian visited us in Indiana when he was in high school and acquired Michael Martin Murphey's album containing the hit song 'Wildfire' while here. We listened to it many times that week and still to this day whenever I hear that song, I think of Brian. He also made and gave us a mix-tape one year when we met up in Yellowstone - Cadillac Road Songs - since Mom and Dad (Uncle John and Aunt Kay) had Cadillacs. We actually got to surprise him with the gift of music one year. We were vacationing in San Diego and had made plans to meet up at Humphreys Half Moon Inn, where we had booked a room months in advance. Much to our surprise, Poco and Pure Prairie League were performing the first night - Brian got to talk to PPL Band in the parking lot the next morning as we left for snorkeling at 6 am. Later that evening Dennis DeYoung from Styx was playing. But alas, we had no tickets. As luck would have it, our junior suite was right across the hall from the performer's rooms and just outside our exit door was a landing with the perfect view of the venue, so we had our little mini family reunion right there on the balcony enjoying a great free show (Bruce and family came too)! Then, when Dad was sick, Brian came to Indiana and visited. He went out and got Dad an old style cathedral radio so he could have some music in his room. Always so sweet and thoughtful.

Back in the mid 90's I went to San Diego with 3 of my girlfriends and met up with Brian for dinner one evening. He brought all 4 of us girls a bouquet of fresh flowers to welcome us to CA. More sweet and thoughtful.

The downed plane vacation story! Reminds me of one of his visits here and he had purchased a book titled Off the Beaten Path in Indiana. Which obviously led to a road trip! To the famous shoe tree near Milltown! We had to ask a grizzled old local for more specific directions, but we did finally find it! An old tree out in the middle of nowhere with hundreds of pairs of shoes thrown up into it! He let me keep the book - thanks Brian! I still have it and refer to it every so often when we want a short getaway or day trip!

And that time he was afraid we were going to be late for the train ride in French Lick so he drove really fast through the hills and hollers of Orange County Indiana. Whew! But we made it (and got to see Larry Bird's childhood home). Or, that time cousin Mark let him drive his corvette. I went along for a cruise, but boy oh boy did I get a ride! He was determined to find a straight stretch to get her up to 100 - and yup, we did!

I am sure gonna miss my cool cousin from California. Love ya Brian. Love and Hugs to the family.

Always a smile, a laugh and the willingness to do for others.  Loved listening to music and attending shows with you Brian.  You had so much left to do and see and I will miss your big, open heart.  May you be riding your bike down all the roads you loved and new ones that you find in the hereafter and the next time around. 

My condolences to the family and those he has left behind.