Ben had so much to share with the people who he encountered. He was thoughtful, funny, witty, passionate, stubborn and unique.  Those of us that knew Ben likely never left and interaction feeling the same, he would mix things up, oh yes he got a kick out of rustling some feathers.  He always served up a myriad of thought provoking adventures. No matter the nights misadventures, all you had to do to know him is listen to his music. That always reset the clock for me. You can't come up with the lyrics or the music without being a passionate wordsmith. They have tremendous melodies, and something insightful to say. 

That was the adult Ben....I have the unique perspective of young Ben. He was a kind and thoughtful kid. Always well dressed and clean. ( Think like of a slightly taller Justin but not as trendy) Ben adored Justin no matter what Justin might do to him. Justin is, and always was as fierce of a defender and protector of Ben and he could drive him nuts in just a few silly words. It was always fun to talk to them about one another. It was a blessing for me as an older brother to know they had that bond. 

Ben was surrounded by people that loved him. I don't think anyone that met him and got to know him will forget him and... would likely agree with alot that  I am saying. 

This is my little story so I will say a few things that were personal to me. I wanted Ben to reach all of his goals. I supported his efforts in every way I could think of.  I am still convinced that if he was properly promoted and represented he would be touching millions of lives with his talents. I helped him with a demo tape, and photo promotion for booking gigs. I outright demanded he recognise how lucky he was to have the talents he possesed. He knew. Yeah, I likely pissed him off the most as someone that would hotly debate him for hours and hours on end. 

No matter what was said, the next day or week, we were fine. That is what being brothers is about. I am far from perfect, but I know Ben tried to see the good in me the same way I did him.  

I imagined being able to shrink down into a tiny warrior and running through his veins killing cancer like a scene from braveheart or the walking dead. I'm still pissed off. 

He had such a positive attitude and certainty for so long that he was going to recover that I believed it as well. The countless phone calls with my family and friends helped..and I am gratefull for them all.

Ben and I always talked about religion which he studied and I did not. We talked about the universe and what is just beyond it. I dont know the answer to that but. I truly hope that he does now know..... and that it has a Guitar and a Piano and some pets, interesting trinkets and some hot babes. Then I would know he is ok, if you are reading this Ben, I left in all the grammatical errors just to annoy you in an older brother kinda way.