12/26/2025
(I am posting a photo with this, also.)
Since learning of Barry’s passing… I wake up every day wanting to write the perfect letter to his loved ones.
I know how special that guy is.
I first met his dad, my shop teacher, in seventh grade. Mr. Gober was 100% himself, fully a man and confident, just a great example and teacher for a 12-year old boy. He had real authority, independence and strength. He was also funny… He had shop knowledge and humility. He and his coteacher got on great. Classes felt like Scouts. No other teacher like him. It was perfect. We loved Mr. G. That was around the Fall of 1983.
Then sometime in 1985 I met Becca — the shining star that is Becca Gober.
We were in the Austin High School marching band, percussion section. She was just as serious about music as I, but she could play MALLETS — and that was simply impossible, so Becca existed in a special universe, too. She was a great leader, like her dad. She was funny, she had unbreakable integrity, and the best smiles. She kept us moving and on the up. Like her dad. You didn’t mess with her. I was sensing a theme.
I met Mrs. Gober around that time, the sweetest and most proud of everyone else member of the family. We* (*they) were constantly moving xylophones and tympani and orchestral chimes to and from football games all over central Texas; the Gober minivan was our marching band trailer for most of the games during these years. Barry must have been in the family van or at some of those games, but we never met that I remember. I just kept hearing the legend… of an 8th grader???? People, not just proud sister Becca but band directors, would occasionally mention Becca’s little brother, Barry, the drumming dynamo who would soon be joining us. I couldn’t wait.
By about 1987 Barry started high school. What Becca and the others hadn’t conveyed was that B would instantly become the emotional center of our friends group, The Percussion Section (partially in the picture), which included so many amazing kids — Marcus, Shawn, Meredith, Ben, Toby, Jason, other names will come to me, our gang of 5 to 12 was always happy and grooving — but Barry was the hub, from the first day, as a freshman, always cool, on time, respectful, funny and collected.
Shoulder to shoulder we were a drumming team. All five or 15 of us. Side by side, up and down the field, into the stands, and in and out of the band hall. I only wish Becca had been born a few years later so the three of us could have played together at the pep rallies, the rehearsals, the shows on the field, the jamming in the stands, rocking cheers with the cheerleaders, doing drum battles with the other bands… on and on, the massive load ins… it was an insane amount of fun. All kids should be so lucky.
But none of us knew what an advanced, swell-guy of a human being that 14 year old dude would be. B changed everything from the soles of our feet on up, permeating out into the entire band. He made band cool. He gave us all confidence. Every day he went to classes I just kind of figured he was teaching somewhere else in the building until our next rehearsal.
B was SO comedic, so confident, always perceptive. He understood all people and all the rules. He gracefully diffused every diffusible situation like a shaman. He’d just speak and everything would be cool again. This kid… !
I can go on. The Barry I knew was probably just like all the other Gobers, but we were peers. I got to see his humility / wit / energy / maturity / intelligence / integrity / timing / rhythm / love / amazing drumming / reliability / great nature up close those two years. He was always right and fun. He kicked ass as needed, above and beyond when required without a bluster or a wimper, but never above anyone else. He knew how to celebrate when we did something meaningful. He loved to compete just to try and do well. He knew what meaningful was. He saw everyone. His attitude kept us — as a group, Real and happy.
That time with Barry was a blessing for my whole life.
Of all the people I grew up with, Barry Gober, was truly powerful and generous and unique in these ways — for any aged-person. Always settling and ready to go, or brilliantly sarcastic, or goofy, or plain old uplifting and chill. Always rooted. His exuberance towards the people present and being-here-now-together was uniquely his own. MUSIC and Drums were vehicles we got to ride-in for that purpose, enjoying together, with Barry in the band.
Barry was INVOLVED. I really miss him. I was truly excited about catching up one day. Last time I remember seeing the youngster for any length of time was 1989. I’m so sorry I was never able to know him as a grown man. I’m sure I missed out. I just admired him and never forgot his qualities — strived to be that, too. Barry made high school easy. Everybody was liked. No one excluded. Nothing weird or awkward, when he was around. He could get us on board and beyond any hangups by himself or with his SUPER LOUD QUADS. !!!! It was Amazing and Bless-ed, every day.
I want to also mention, I came to know Mrs. Gober during the Barry years, my second half of high school, she was the most beautiful light. Her eyes so loving and honest. Her voice from the soil. Her smile truly happy. My time with the Gobers is some of my most Treasured Treasure-time from my youth. It was always a team effort with that family. They contributed mightily in every thing they did to those around them. Every memory I have of Becca is drenched in smiles, hard work, respect and fun, and every memory of Barry lives in clouds of laughter; Mr. Gober and Mrs. Gober, the saintly parents.
I cannot imagine the loss you all must feel. No one could bring people together like Barry. No one could make us laugh or keep us on the good foot like him.
Barry was a mensch and one of the gang and a star, all at once.
Sending admiration, GRATITUDE, love and peace to you.
Sincerely,
Chris Searles
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