My big brother and I shared unique roles, him being the first and I being the last. He experienced a parenting I didnt ,perhaps explaining his disciplined responsible demeanour and my spoilt and pampered existence.

  In many ways he was more of an icon and father figure. Glaring at us when we misbehave and yelling at us not to slam the door when he dropped us off at school. The summer I finished mysecondary education my fathers custom was for us to travel abroad for a well deserved holiday. My parents role ended with buying my ticket to New York from where I was given strict instructions to proceed to a booth to call my big brother Tony to arrange my onward transportation to his home. Whether he was privy to this I have no idea but it took one phone call and  my whole trip was sorted including allowances, shopping etc. That was my brother for you. Dependable . Trustworthy. Responsible.  Kind. My parents knew they had a gem in him. A true diokpala. My mother told me stories of how be would ride the bus at the age of 5 to the other end of town to drop off his younger siblings at their own school before riding back to his own. She spoke of how the alleyways in downtown Chicago leading to their apartment were so scary at night and how Anthony would come out with a torchlight to guide her home after work . How old could he have been? Maybe 10? This marked my brothers life. Setting the pace for all of us as he smashed one exam after the other. Star pupil, star son! Who were we not to follow in his footsteps trying but never quite matching his huge footprints. He led the way to success . He led the way to us being doctors. Led the way to Pittsburgh.  Led the way to navigate a new world in America for those who followed. Now, again he has led the way to the afterlife...

Although sickness robbed us of you long before your departure we cherished the moments we had left with you. May your soul rest peacefully in the Lord . Diokpala nnam, jee nke oma!

My beloved big brother you and I go way back ! How loved you were in our family! How we all looked up to you and sought your wisdom garnered from being so well read . You had mastered Swedish and Swedish literature and of course English literature and all the famous works of Russian and French classics . You were literally a walking encyclopedia. It was this depth of knowledge from which you drew an uncanny ability to understand human nature and to analyze the world and to advise all of us usually in the format of a long lecture where you logically stated your reasoning and facts. What a pleasure it always was to listen to your analytical thinking and there was no conversation I had with you which did not render me humbled and in awe of the vasts depths of your knowledge and memory. My suspicions of your unusual memory was later confirmed by daddy who one day confessed to me “ you know Marisa, I think he has a photographic memory!” And this was the confession of a man who had quite a remarkable memory in and of itself. 

But all this is anecdotal, for it is not the memory which makes the man. What I remember is your kindness and compassion and fidelity to duty and to God. The love with which you guarded your mother and father was to put it simply inspirational ! But your charity did not end at your parents door there was hardly a one of my brothers and sisters who did not at some point live with you and benefit from your hospitality. My dearest, you took care of so many people often forgetting about yourself.  But that is another story. My dearest, you have run the great race with fidelity to the end . May we all aspire to be as self less and hardworking and kind as you; in the final analysis it is only love that matters, and this love transcends time and space and worlds and has no end.Thank you Anton, thank you for everything which I could not even hope to enumerate, thank you , our only consolation being that you are now in the arms of the good God.