Memories of Alvan "“Al” “Alvie”" Richard Miller

In memory of

Alvan "“Al” “Alvie”" Richard Miller

Normalville, PA, USA

July 12, 1940 - January 28, 2021

Jul 12, 1940 - Jan 28, 2021

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Jessyka Lydon

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Markeus Gilbert

Did you ever see a dream walking?
Well, I did
Did you ever hear a dream talking?
Well, I did
If there is a heaven he’s certainly there. I wrote a poem when I was a kid about how you could reach heaven on a swing. Something about it frees the spirit, pop pop is a free spirit and always has been. I don’t think he would want us to worry, his spirit has always been free and now like In life he gets to have some fun. He will always be forever young. I miss him very much.
I lived with my pop pop up until I was 8, this is important for me to mention as he was the man of the house and one of my biggest father figures. “
“I wanna be like you
I wanna talk like you
Walk like you, too
You'll see it's true
Someone like me
Can learn to be
Like someone like me
Can learn to be
Like someone like you”
This little tune plays in my head as I think about how much I admired my Pop. He worked hard for his family and to put food on the table and at times when I was younger he seemed like an elusive being. Elusive -“difficult to find, catch, or achieve”
He would work out on his weight bench alone, I would have to sneak in to get a peak, often at times sneaking in when he wasn’t around. Just to be in his presence or his domain. I would hang on those bars and dream of lifting them just like him. He had that bench for awhile even when we moved to Kentucky. He had set up an area in the barn. If I found out he was there I would rush over just to see him. Watch him.
His comb would always be in his back pocket, slicking his long hair back was common place. I would take or just be given combs by him. I mirrored his movements emulated his actions. I wanted to be just like him. My hair was so poofy in my first grade picture because I kept combing it all day. I didn’t understand I didn’t have the same hair as other people. My hair jus toooofed right up.
When he would go for his runs across our property he would head out early. The leader of the pack. One morning he left without me and I remember rushing out of the house bare foot running full speed to catch up with him. That was my goal, to catch up with him. To keep up. He didn’t stop or slow down, we both just kept running.
As a kid sometimes he seemed tough. Stern even. If we ordered food we better eat all of it. If we were in his Monte Carlo only he could eat in the car. He was tough, but kind. He may have been tough because he thought he had to be, maybe work tired him. I can only guess from what I saw.
But his true self was always young and playful. From pretending to take my nose off my face, duck calls with a blade of grass or even how to shoot straw wrappers off the straw at a table. He always was goofing around or trying to make someone laugh. He joked and laughed often and as the years went by more of that came out.
When I was a boy I was delighted with him putting me on his shoulders, letting me climb through the chicken coup to help him get eggs. Sometimes I would sit on his lap while he drove. I would put his cowboy boots on and try to make them fit, I would pretend that he was a race car driver and cheer him on as he passed cars in traffic. He would joke with me and ask me if I was good kid I would say yes but then he would laugh and say “only when your sleeping” . I would flex my muscles and get to show him I could be strong like him. He would ask to see my muscles but then immediately squeeze my jaw, making the joke my jaw muscles had grown because of how much talking I did. I loved every moment with him.
His tattoo said born to lose, it was joked that it looked like “born to loose” . Which is accurate because despite the years when he may have been stern, or been tough he was always a loose guy at heart. A guy that would make a 7 year old afraid if he didn’t eat all his food but at the same time he would blow a straw across the room and onto someone else’s table cracking up as it happened. He had heart and humor.
As I grew and had time to focus more and more on him his insecurities would show. His obsessive brushing of his hair wasn’t just because he was a 50s grease but because he had this thought his hair was falling out and he didn’t want to be bald. It’s what he barely got a hair cut.
The reason why he didn’t come to the lake with us on every trip was because he almost drowned when he was younger but also because he said he didn’t like his legs in shorts. He told me he wouldn’t participate in gym because he thought the gym shorts made him look like a sissy.
His walking and weights were a way to fight back against getting old. Without saying it specifically he didn’t want to be an old man, he didn’t want to lose his memories or his wits. He would play Tetris on a original gameboy to keep his mind sharp. He could remember the order of the home row of keys on keyboard from his years in school, he remembered all kinds of things. Names of songs, artists , cars. I tried to tell him every time he did not have to worry about forgetting things.
I saw the regret in his face when a story about him being strict or stern came up. Real emotion even if it blinked there for a second ,I would catch it. He wanted to make sure his family knew he loved them. I think as I got older and even got closer to my hero things became clearer.
I think he worked on himself every day and he would make wonderful efforts to show his love. But he did it his way, when he came to visit he came with donuts. A whole box every time. The bright red truck in the lot always meant something special. “Pop pops here !” Throughout the time of his visits he would get up early before everyone else just to get us coffee. Every single time he was here. I started going with him in my teen years on those trips just to continue to be near him. Even if it meant us being in NJ but getting cheesesteaks in deep PA . He stuck to what made him comfortable and I was always ready for a ride.
I would let him talk and talk, he expressed to me how much he missed my grandma, and through story’s about his parents, he expressed how much he admired and missed them.
He was the older brother but he always talked and admired his siblings as if he were the youngest of the bunch. There was not a conversation that went by that he wasn’t mentioning one of his siblings.
The older I got the more I made it a priority to visit on my own. On one such visit when we went to his first ever football game he talked about how he wondered if his mom was ever upset that he changed his name. I had not known he had changed it. All those years passed and I was still learning. He told me why he changed it, and how he hoped his mom wasn’t too upset.
This the man I saw trap a snake in a bucket and pound it with a shovel when he thought we were threatened to him recently catching spiders and letting them outside “come on little guy”
I remember from the age of two or three how he did not want another dog. But his best friend Ebby worked his way into his heart. Pop pops dog Ebby was his closest friend. He didn’t go anywhere without that dog. One of the saddest times I saw Pop was when Ebby passed. But it allowed him to move back home and be with his family. You could see how happy it made him
Pop pop was sensitive, and caring he was afraid from his growing up to be thought of as being a “sissy”.
But in time he let some of those thoughts go. In his retirement he got to work on his passions, and fixing up old cars. He was constantly listening to music and laughing and he loved us all so very much.
When I would visit he made sure to be the best host. “There’s some blankets over there and a pillow if you need it” “how about some breakfast and some coffee”
He introduced me to his music explaining who Jerry lee Lewis was or the Cole miners daughter. I made it a point to play all of his favorite rock and roll hits when he arrived but as much as greaser he liked to play, he had a love for country gospel .
He liked to collect, his collection was always model cars. He displayed them in a display case. I remember him purchasing me a matchbox car of Dale Earnhardt’s number 3 car. I begged and pleaded for it. He bought it for me strictly telling me not to open it. Of course, I opened it immediately. I still feel a little bad about it. But I know he wouldn’t want me to feel like that. Just like I want him to know that nothing he ever did or said has ever hurt me.
He would stick out his tongue and chuckle to himself, blow straw wrappers , steal noses, he would stick his teeth out of his mouth and act like he lost them all. He was always willing and wanting to make everyone happy or laugh
As much as I was chasing him as a kid, he would let me know through all his jokes and laughter that he was there . He will always be there.
He would even make a joke about my football team losing. Or innocent jokes at someone’s expense. But sometimes this would make him overthink, I remember he made a very loving and normal laugh about my team losing or something around those lines but thought it may have upset me. He had someone relay that he hoped that i wasn’t upset. I had to call him right away and tell him of course not.
For those of you reading this, that’s the kind of person Pop was. He had these thoughts and concerns about how he made or would make someone feel. I think we did a good job of showing our love back and I do not think these thoughts burdened him. But if he felt someone was hurting, or that he offended anyone he wanted to make it right, he wanted us to know he loved us. He loved all of us.
One of my proudest moments was having my daughter, getting married and purchasing my home. He was great with my daughter and was just as silly and goofy with her as he was with me. When she was born I believe he was proud of her, proud to be a great great grandfather. He was gentle and careful almost not wanting to get too close at first.
I was excited to have him and the family over for dinner He approved of my marriage and my wife, he slapped me on the back and congratulated me on my home and he complimented my cooking. I’m so grateful that I was able to show him the man I am today and I hope he knows how much he meant to me. I wish maybe I could have been as open to him as I am now. But I believe we all showed him how much we loved him daily.
His Steelers Jacket was a gift from the family, he wore it to the game proudly. I just recently received a similar jacket for my team and all last week I wore it with pride. “Do you like my jacket? It was a gift” the only reason i was showing it off was with one thought. “ It’s just like pop pops”. I couldn’t wait to show him it .
There’s so many things I will miss, like his love for candy, always having ice cream in the freezer, or a big bag of spice drops in a bag . His button up shirts and rolled up sleeves. His red tool box, his red truck , the way his watch was always on the bottom of his wrist. There are many things I will miss.
I don’t want anyone to forget The love he had for his kids, grand kids, great grand child. Siblings, nieces, nephews he talked about us all.
I miss him so much. It’s hard to get all the right words. Which is why I made a YouTube video. I think he would approve
In heaven where angels sing, maybe I can arrive by sitting on a swing. If this is a way to reach the sky, I’ll just kick my legs until I fly. Sitting on a swing a soul is free, I just wish everyone could see.
If angels fly then I will too, I’ll sit on a swing just like you.
I love you pop pop. We all do. Your soul was always free. I’m happy you are with your parents and your doggy best friend. It won’t be the same here without you. But we will remember all that you left.
Did you ever find heaven right in your arms
Saying, "I love you, I do?"
Well, the dream that was walking
And the dream that was talking
And the heaven in my arms was you
I love you .

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Alvan "“Al” “Alvie”" Richard Miller

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