Alexis-ssi.

I remember turning to glance at you that first day in Korean class, all of us so enraptured by Sunny Seonsaengnim, that comedic sage—her story of strapping the Korean flag under her clothes on her first flight to America, as if some kind of extremist—and it was like we were exactly where we were supposed to be.

I remember the gochujang-red fried chicken at that place in Convoy, almost agonizing to eat. We were there so much during that World Baseball Classic that our pictures were on the walls. Then, later, at Dodger Stadium, we vehemently cheered for Bum-ho Lee, because his name, but also, he was very good.

I remember you volunteering with the San Diego Asian Film Festival, and I thought that was glamorous.

I remember that time at your apartment before the Dashboard Confessional concert, we said that someday we’d be ajummas together, and Joy named us three the “Tripod,” and I kept trying to figure out in my head if this was a sensical metaphor.

I remember you looking too swallowed into that crowd at the Death Cab for Cutie concert, though you were only inches from me, and I was truly worried for us.

I remember talking to you and our other classmate outside on campus one particular afternoon, and he said something along the lines that you and I always talked about unusual things, maybe enigmatic things or something, and we talked for as long as we could before you had to leave to tend to your flies. You were always doing something with flies in those days. Experiments.

I remember the Team Korea t-shirt you sweetly made me and I wore for “Beer Olympics,” where I met my future husband, and you impressed everyone with that “can stand.” I wouldn’t have gone if it weren't for you.

I remember you telling me about your experience in Korea, about it being so cold at night in your little apartment-room, and I’ll always wish I had asked you about all of it again and again.

I remember us swimming with the leopard sharks in La Jolla, weirdly in front of that restaurant, and I wondered if it was really safe to swim with sharks, but because you were so smart, I figured you knew what we were doing.

I remember, a few years later, thinking it would be impossible to get a parking spot one morning at South Mission Beach, and seeing you so randomly there, like an angel (it was like winning the lottery), visiting from grad school, waving me over so that I could take your spot, because you were leaving, and I was baffled at the timing of it all, down to the minute, or we would have missed each other…and it seemed that the Universe was ensuring our friendship, our “elliptical orbits,” as you said, coming close together again as they had done in the other seasons; we were exactly where we were supposed to be.

I remember our first Zoom chat after the start of the pandemic and your makeshift bidet and Joy calling Stonehenge “...just a bunch of rocks.” We all laughed and laughed, and I felt a kind of spiritual home.

I remember our last Zoom chat, our “Tripod.” We talked long, long after we should have, and I had to pee so badly but didn’t want to stop chatting. You were afraid of seeing ghosts or something, in the mirror behind you, I think, on the video screen. I didn’t know it would be our last time. I was looking forward to being ajummas together, Alexis-ssi. 포고싶어. Aiiigo.

“...how do we make of our time here?” you once wrote. “Our own centers of gravity pulling and pulling. Not for things, but for each other… We are here for each other.” I’m so grateful for all of it. I am so grateful. 

This is a message that we sent to Alexis's long-time department at the University of Colorado:

Dear BMG Members,

It is with a very heavy heart that we write to let you know that Dr. Alexis Zukowski, long-time member of BMG during her PhD and postdoc, died on September 15th after a long battle with brain cancer. Alexis was with her family and her husband Ryan Sheridan, also a BMG member/RBI fellow.

Alexis came in through BSP and was the Johnson Lab’s very first rotation student in 2012. We couldn’t have been luckier to have her join our group and the Molecular Biology Program. She brought high enthusiasm, hard work, intellect, and an infectious positive energy. Alexis gained a passion for chromatin biology while studying the molecular mechanisms of heterochromatin through biochemistry. Through her time in the lab, Alexis was a fantastic colleague and a mentor for many. Right after graduating, she was also the inaugural TA for Aaron at the Cold Spring Harbor Gene Expression Course, where she helped train an entire cohort and made great friends.

After her PhD, Alexis took a chance with a new lab when she joined Srinivas. More than being a postdoc, Alexis worked side-by-side with Srinivas to establish a new line of research that he himself hadn't pursued before - developing liquid biopsy approaches that established the lab in translational research. She brought her expertise in biochemistry and chromatin biology to forge a new way to understand cancer phenotypes from just a blood draw. She was exceptionally successful - she obtained an ACS postdoctoral fellowship, an innovation award from the Cancer Center, and made critical contributions that led to patent applications from the lab. She shined in every meeting she attended, chairing sessions, and winning best poster awards. Alexis not only established the cfDNA direction in the lab but also trained our next lab manager to carry forward the wet lab research as she transitioned to computational biology. She was on track to becoming an entrepreneur, spinning out lab technologies into a startup. Alexis brought intellectual depth to our fledgling lab, pushing everyone around her to think deeply about their research questions, while at the same time injecting fun and humor in all interactions. Alexis was a first postdoc any lab would dream of - scientifically rigorous and productive, a guiding force for younger trainees, and a happy presence that lifted everyone's spirits.

Beyond her scientific accomplishments, Alexis was a true friend to so many. She had a remarkable ability to connect with people through her thoughtful listening, genuine curiosity, and encouragement. Her spirited sense of adventure and goofy humor could brighten even the most stressful days, and she had a special gift for inspiring others to try new things and step outside their comfort zones in ways that left a lasting impression. Alexis’s love of traveling reflected that same adventurous spirit, and her creativity shone in many ways—from her passion for writing and artistic expression, to her playful ingenuity on the soccer field, to her flair for whipping up a Halloween costume from lab supplies on the fly. She also delighted in sharing good food, making every meal or happy hour an occasion filled with laughter and camaraderie. To many of us, Alexis was not just a colleague, but a cherished friend whose presence enriched our lives both in and out of the lab. We will deeply miss her laughter, her friendship, and the joy she brought to everyone around her.

Alexis’s family has set up a memorial page for her with opportunities to share memories and photos and to make a donation in her name, please visit it if you’d like to share: https://everloved.com/life-of… . We hope to have some additional ways to remember Alexis on campus sometime soon.

While it’s easy to slide into focusing on how unfair it feels to lose such a wonderful person, we should do our best to follow Alexis’s example to live life to the fullest and let the radiance of it all shine on others. We will miss her light, but it’s really all around us every day.

Sincerely,

Aaron, Maggie, Srinivas, and Ryan