How to Request Donations in Lieu of Flowers
Requesting donations in lieu of flowers is something that many families do, but it can be difficult to know just how to word this request. This article covers the meaning behind this popular phrase and alternate ways to request funeral donations or contributions.
What does in lieu of flowers mean?
The meaning of ‘in lieu of [flowers]’(https://everloved.com/articles/memorial-products/how-much-do-funeral-flowers-cost/) may be obvious to some but certainly not to all. When the phrase "in lieu of flowers" appears, it is typically a polite request for mourners to make a donation to a specific cause or charity instead of sending floral arrangements. “In lieu of” means “instead of”. So when you read “in lieu of flowers”, you can interpret it as “in lieu of flowers, please donate” or “instead of sending flowers, please donate”. This request often reflects the wishes of the deceased or their family, who may prefer to support a cause close to their heart or address a need that aligns with the deceased's values.
Why not just say “please donate instead of sending flowers”?
Using the phrase "in lieu of flowers" in an obituary instead of a direct request like "please donate instead of sending flowers" is often a matter of tradition and tone. "In lieu of flowers" carries a formal and respectful connotation that aligns with the solemnity of the occasion. It guides mourners to consider a charitable contribution without explicitly commanding them to act, which can be perceived as more tactful and considerate. Individuals and families may struggle with the wording for memorial donations, so following tradition or previously socially acceptable ways of requesting something is an easy way to do something without having to get creative about the wording.
We want to request donations in lieu of flowers, how can we word that?
If the standard “in lieu of flowers” wording doesn’t resonate with you, it’s certainly not the only way to request donations that follows “traditional” memorial donation etiquette. There are plenty of ways to ask for donations that aren’t saying the words “in lieu of flowers” or that add to that phrase in a more unique way. Here are a few examples:
- "In lieu of flowers, the family requests that donations be made to support the family with unexpected funeral expenses in [Name]'s honor."
- "The family kindly requests that, instead of sending flowers, donations be made to [Charity name]."
- "In memory of [Name], please consider making a donation to [Charity name] in place of flowers."
- "The family appreciates your support and requests that any floral tributes be replaced with donations to [Charity name]."
- "To honor [Name]'s legacy, please direct any donations to the family to help reduce unexpected funeral costs rather than sending flowers."
- “In lieu of flowers, the family requests that you please donate to [Charity name] to honor the memory of [Name].”
Remember that you can always adjust the wording to fit the tone and preferences of the family.
What is proper funeral donation amount etiquette?
When requesting donations in lieu of flowers, it's generally considered proper to avoid specifying minimum or maximum amounts. Here are some guidelines:
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Avoid suggesting specific amounts: It's best not to set minimum or maximum donation amounts. This approach allows people to give what they are comfortable with, respecting their financial situation and personal circumstances.
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Focus on the gesture: Emphasize the act of donating rather than the amount. The key is to encourage contributions to a cause or charity that was important to the deceased, rather than placing a monetary expectation on mourners.
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Suggest an appropriate range: If you feel it's necessary to guide donors, you might suggest a general range, such as "in lieu of flowers, please consider a donation of any amount to [Charity name]." This provides a helpful guideline without being too prescriptive.
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Use discretion: If there are specific circumstances or preferences (such as for a specific charity that has a recommended donation amount), you can include that information subtly, but avoid making it a requirement.
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Communicate clearly: Make sure the request is communicated clearly and sensitively in the obituary or funeral notice, so that friends and family understand the intention behind the request.
The goal is to encourage meaningful contributions without causing discomfort or pressure among those who wish to show their support.
If you’re in need of funeral donations or would like to request contributions to charity in lieu of or in addition to flowers, consider setting up a memorial website on Ever Loved. Ever Loved memorial websites are free to use and easy to set up. They offer you a space to suggest donations to either a charity or for the family’s expenses, so mourners can honor the deceased in the way that makes the most sense to you.
