It will the first anniversary of Tuxie's passing tomorrow. I thought it would be nice to update his memorial here at Everloved and let him know that he'll never be forgotten and that he will always be loved.

In closing I'd like to share a poem

Living With Ghosts

I’ve been living with ghosts ever since my best friend “gave up the ghost”.

I live with their ghost and the one I’ve become by withdrawing from life and invisibly dragging my chains of sorrow and despair haunting old haunts we once shared in the past.

Moving like a ghost through life.

Part of me has died with them.

So that they’ll never be alone.

There is also a part of them I keep to myself which I’ve placed firmly in my heart.

They are with me as I hope that I am with them.

Some say that “life goes on”.

Yet for me it pauses then becomes a constant replay of ghosted images in the past.

Now faded with time like old photographs or celluloid film.

The present has become a sepia print lacking color.

I exist in the monochrome of despair

Longing for what once was and will no longer be.

Living with ghosts.

They leave a trace.

A remnant.

The essence of who they once were is all I have.

Their body now ashes.

“Dust to dust” as in The Book of Common Prayer.

Yet their ghost still lives on in my heart.

Fond memories still remain.

An obligation to remember them.

Who else is there to memorialize the dead but the living?

“In loving memory.”

I remember them lovingly.

Nothing but perfection remains in my memories of our times together.

I leave any trials and tribulations we might have had in the past.

Smiling while shedding tears for what I’ve lost when I’m alone.

Tasting the bitter sweetness of sorrow in private.

“An hour’s communion with the dead.”

In Memoriam.

The ghost of Tennyson now speaks to me as I write a eulogy.

He guides me with his words.

Written for the ghost of his best friend Arthur Hallam.

O friendship, equal-poised control,
O heart, with kindliest motion warm, O sacred essence, other form,
O solemn ghost! O crowned soul!

Ibid.

Living with ghosts.

I write by and for them.

They live with us.

We keep them alive.

Though they are no longer physically with us.

The essence of who they were still remains.

Those we love still walk beside us.

Invisible to others save ourselves.

Like angels.

They come to us in many forms.

Before returning to heaven from whence they came.

While leaving the ghost of who they were once with us.

Written for my best friend who passed away April 3rd 2024