Thomas Patrick Pearl was a great man. Well-renowned chef of his chicken al diarheaa. He spent his youth growing up in a small Amish community. They were very poor and could not afford food, so he began eating scat. He ate hundreds of tons of scat a day. He made scat smoothies, scat gumbo, scat jambalaya, anything you can think of, he cooked it. In his teen years, he became tired of eating plain shit, but he was poor. He began working at the sewage treatment plant. He referred to it as his "Chef's kitchen." He began making money and seasoning his poop.

As he got older, he made many friends. We used to have game nights every Friday and drink his scat smoothies. He loved game nights. A while into his life, he got caught up with a bad group of friends. He was wrongfully accused and sent to prison. In prison, he was a popular chef. He has so much free time that he began experimenting with new seasonings. He came out of that prison brighter than a port-a-potty full of poop. In the twenty years that he was free and thriving, he went everywhere with a smile and a Stanley full of shit. He changed his friend group and lived well. I remember asking him one time, "Do you ever regret anything in your life?" With the most gleeful smile ever, he looked at his Stanley and said, "As long as I have shit, I will be a happy man with no regrets." 

As his health deteriorated from the kidney issues, he kept going strong. He always acted like nothing was wrong. He kept drinking his scat, claiming it would improve his health. He passed away in March of 2022. Before he passed, he asked, "Can I be created and put into a scat smoothie?" I am proud to say that man was loyal. A week after his death, I ensured that his final wish came true. Thomas Patrick Pearl will always be with scat in his favorite construction site port-a-potty.

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