Here are 21 things you've taught me (the same number as the number of years I had when I met you). 

Things my Father-in-Law Taught me:

1. Learn the art of negotiation. 

2. Say you're sorry AND mean it.

3. Make people happy (such as cracking jokes, at the right time).

4. Be kind and if you mess up, try and try again.

5. Be self-sufficient, but be OK with accepting help when you need it.

6. Love what you do to provide for your loved ones.

7. Be generous without regret.

8. Be willing to always give a hand.

9. Listen to and value your wife's opinion (she is your team mate and an intelligent individual). 

10. Be forthright for what is right.

11. Build your niche in the world (bit by bit and be patient about it).

12. Try to be flexible.

13. Your spouse/family comes first. 

14. Take chances ONLY after a double take.

15. Have standards, but within reason.

16. Filter what to say and how to say it when needed. 

17. Comfort others by being present.

18. Believe the best.

19. Accomplish a goal/task with careful forethought and planning. 

20. Put others first. 

21. Be patient with new learners.

       Let me preface my Tom story with this:  Over 7 years ago, our son started dating Tom's daughter, McKenzie.  Arren was smitten with her, and rightfully so!  He would come home and bubble over saying, "McKenzie says [this]; McKenzie says [that]!  In the last couple of years, Arren started saying, "Tom says it's better if we do [this]... Tom says [that]."  I could tell the big impression Tom Murray was making on our son.  We were and are very thankful for the Murrays being in his life.         Forward to November 2022, the Wedding Day.  I got to see that day what so many people who spoke today at the memorial were saying about how nice and how capable Tom was, how he thought about the best way to do things, how he was calm when others at work weren't.  Early on the wedding day, Tom and Kathy were working hard at getting the venue set properly, and he was so kind to everyone helping.  He knew the smartest way to do things, and was helping us very patiently.  He did a great job as father-of-the-bride, and gave a really nice speech.  Our own daughter's wedding was just two weeks ago, and I was really looking forward to barbecuing with Tom and to talk about the role of parents of the bride.  We didn't get that chance.      But let me tell you about the chance we did get... It was recently, on April 30th this year,  and Arren has a video to verify it.   We were having Kathy and Tom and A & M over for barbecue chicken,  and I took Tom into the music room.  I gave him my best guitar, plugged him into the system with lots of volume and a gutsy electric guitar sound, and we got the chance to play for quite a while.  Zeppelin, Rush, and other juicy classic rock songs!  He was playing them great!  (Now I know why McKenzie is a good musician).  We were having so much fun, and then the wives came in to say the food was ready, and we were like two high schoolers in a garage band, looking at each other and then to the women like it was "Oh... Okay, Mom."   Tom said we should do this again.  We really wanted to.         I wouldn't be surprised if when the time comes, I see Tom coming up to me in heaven with some guitars for us to play.   I also was thinking how nice it would be for him to bring my dad up to speed with news of the family (my dad has been gone since I was 22).         Judy and I have been hurting for The Murrays ever since that early morning call brought the sad and shocking news, but seeing and hearing all these friends and family members share such happy and wonderful stories about Tom was so great today.  We all needed that.  What a great memorial-- It couldn't have been any better.  Well done, Family! 

My heart is aching! So many memories flooding my mind right now of the wonderful times we shared as cousins growing up.....The Easter egg hunts; our Christmas get-togethers  with you and your brother Mike sporting you new beanies from Santa; our summers of going to the strawberry patches; hanging out in the pool or our many trips to Disneyland. And in recent years, being able to get our families together (in good times and difficult ones) to share in numerous milestones.  You were taken from us way too soon.

Our deepest sympathy and condolences to you Kathy as well as Joey & Alllison, McKinzie & Arren.  We continue to pray for comfort and peace for you all, knowing one day we will all be reunited in Heaven.

All our love,

Connie & Geno Fischl

I love Tom with all my heart!  As cousins, we had a bond that did not fade even though we did not get to spend as much time together as I would have liked.  When we did manage to get together we fell back into an easy camaraderie formed from many years of precious memories.   One early memory:  Tom's dad often picked up my sister and me so we could spend the weekend at their house.  We would go to Disneyland, swim in their pool, or just hang out with the neighborhood kids.  It didn't matter what we did, we always had a great time.  We have all been blessed to attend many family life events and celebrations over the years and have been there for each other through some difficult times. 

Kathy, Joey & Allison, McKenzie & Arren:  Our deepest condolences on the loss of your Husband/Father/Father-in-law.  My heart is breaking for all of you.   We have been thinking of you and praying constantly for you, sending love, strength and peace as you go through this extremely difficult time.  

Much love and hugs, Stephanie and Fred Truex

Tom's birthday — with Tom, Stephanie and Ruth

— with Tom, Kathy, Stephanie, Fred, Connie and Geno