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Hi Ma,

Today is your anniversary...I'm thinking of you!

I think of you a lot Ma...Especially when I was on the cruise last week when I saw a lady, from the back she looked like you. 

I kept looking at her, some how I hope I could go back and re live the moments that I was with you and Ba on that cruise.

I was very new to the cruise...I did not know there were lots of activities that we could do...I wished I knew what I know now, I would have taken you to many shows that you might like. 

I only remembered we always had dinner together and sometimes we were going up on deck to have a late snack.   

You always took care of Ba...I wish you enjoyed yourself more...

You dedicated your life to him and family.

I don't know if there is re-carnation or not, but if it is, I wish you are born to be a very luckier person, who being served to, care for, have a great charm life because you deserve more than anyone!

I do not know if there is heaven that one day we will meet again, but if there is,  I will try my best Ma, to live a good person so I can see you again one day!

You are always in my heart Ma.  

I love you!

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On 5/27/2018, I should have been very happy while my boy friend was taking me on my birth day trip in Las Vegas, Hoover Dam, Grand Canyon... and having many, many friends to wish me “Happy Birthday!!”...

But...I missed your voice, Mom!

Though you did not give birth to me, you always remembered my birthday!! Friends, colleagues, even significant others, came and gone in my life...but You were the consistent one in my life, who I could count on getting a birthday wish from!!!

On 5/26/2018, I watched your casket as it went into the cremation box as I was crying and my heart was broken to pieces!!!

For many years, I did not have a chance to live near by You, but I still remember how You helped to transform my life…

I know the story of how You saved me in the Vietnamese War..when the missiles were shooting into town and right into our house; All family members ran to the bomb shelter, but You courageously ran back for me. You got me out of my crib as one missile went directly to it just a minute after that...You SAVED me when I was helpless. You did not give up on me!!!

You saved my life in so many ways: physically, mentally and spiritually. Because you asked for me, I was adopted into your loving family. Because of your kindness, I was cured from a child abuse drama, and because of your courage, I am now still alive!!!

There was a time, I puzzled at my friend’s comment as why I was always over accommodating them when they visited me. Then I remembered vividly the “Ahah” moment when I came back home visiting you..You always offered to me “eat this”, “drink that”, and was concerned to do many little things to make me feel at home. I realized I got this character from you. You cared for everyone around you more than yourself!

One time You worried about ants coming into your room but when I got home from hiking, I found the sandwich you left for me on the night stand. You cared for me and everyone else more than your own comfort!

Years had gone by, your strength was not the same, you had to walk with a walker, still, you always greeted me at the door every time I arrived! Do you know how much I missed you when I arrived there?!?!

There was times I wish I could spend time with you one on one, travel together, as I saw mother and daughter on TVs and movies…You always told me that you would not go any where without Dad. Even at the old age, being weak at your illness, you made sure to take care of him on every little thing: breakfast, lunch, dinner even a cup of coffee or a slice of bread!

I even teased you that your relationship with Dad was like a teenage love. You both were never out of each other’s sight; ALWAYS together!!!

Only illness, could part you from him, still, You called him 2, 3 times a day while one of you was in the hospital or in the nursing home.
You did not remember how old or how tired you were, you wanted to visit him as much as you could even twice a day on every day when he was in the nursing home! Your devotion to him exceeded all bounds!!

Recently, I was in a spiritual class the other day and the teacher asked us to list our heroes in our lives and 3 characters that we admire. Of course, it was not difficult at all that You were the number one on my list. You were/are my Hero for Your Caring, Your Courage and Your Devotion!

I miss your voice asking me if I want to “eat this”, “drink that”, excitingly called me to arrange where I sleep even before I arrive...
I miss the time we laid next to each other, watching a soap opera, while You were constantly talking…
I miss having a chance to take You to buffet, watching You enjoy eating your favorite dish: the ginger blue crab.
I miss having many more chances to do more things together with you!!!

Rest in peace Mom, because I know, you were suffering through the war, which made you become handicap/discomfort, and through all the illness that you had the last several years.

Rest in peace Mom, a Gentle Spirit, from now on you do not have to take care of others like you always tried…

You will be always in my thoughts as a Gentle Caring Mom who saved me in so many ways….When life gives me challenges or discomfort, I will always think of You and have You to live by as an Example. Your Courage has saved me and Your Kindness transformed me to the person I am today!!
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Thiet Nguyen