Roy “FOH” Spoon passed away on March 7th, 2023 at the age of 68 in Benbrook, Texas after years of frying his liver in a life well lived.

Roy spent his military career in the US Air Force as a meteorologist. He was stationed in Enid, OK, Fort Worth, TX, Omaha, NE and did a 1-year stint in Korea. It isn’t like he wasn’t proud of the medals and ribbons he earned in the military as much as he didn’t really care about them; no shadow box for Roy. He was proud of the fact that after retiring from the military his frugal self was able live off that well deserved retirement check until social security kicked in. “I’m cheap!”

Roy didn’t take life seriously, was stubborn as a mule and immovable when he had made up his mind on anything. The man refused to get his driver’s license back because he did not want to pay the fee to do so. Even after finding out the fee was no longer applicable, he still refused to get it back for no other reason than just because. Instead, you could see him riding on his bright orange electric bicycle with a basket of groceries or his laundry and his dog as an F’ You to the State of Texas. Laundry because again frugal and brought it to his daughter’s house to use her machines and visit with “his girls”.

He was an entertaining, friendly and an easy-going man. He had a personality that was easily approachable, and he never met a stranger that he wouldn’t offer a hello to or be willing to share a beer with. He could make you laugh without even trying. He would tell you stories like the ones about his friend Danny Bird that would have tears running down your legs.

He was a lover of music. I don’t remember how many times I could hear him listening to Huey Lewis and the News music so loud that I could hear it down the street while walking home from school. That was in the 80s. While aging his music tastes became more eclectic and included most genres. A playlist for him included NIN – The Hand that Feeds, Eiffle 65 – Blue, and many other random songs as long as they weren’t country or opera, which he referred to as “death by music”. He may have stolen that from Tim the Toolman Taylor.

Survivors include a daughter, Candace Blair and her husband Scott; a stepson Jeff Spoon and his wife Sandy, 2 granddaughters, Abigail Elizabeth Blair and Evelyn Marie-Angle Blair and 2 grandsons, Jacob Allen Spoon and James Michael Spoon. He was preceded in death by his father, Joseph Edward Spoon and the ex-wife, Joan Marie Spoon and his miniature schnauzer, Noodle. He would be horrified about having his dad and ex-wife listed in his obituary but given that he didn’t write this himself we can torture him even in death (reminding him that the “freak show” will both be waiting on him in Heaven). He loved Noodle and just wasn’t the same after losing his companion in 2022.

Additional condolences should be made to the shareholders of Anheuser-Busch for the hit to their revenue incurred in his passing and Bloomberg for losing their last remaining viewer. Roy loved watching the stock market and playing with investments.

Roy was a well-loved man with a sense of humor that would enjoy this obituary (minus the “freak show” shoutout). For those that are curious the FOH nickname is what he and Candace would call each other when answering each other’s phone calls. It stands for F Old Hoe (I read that cursing in an obituary is frowned upon and of course they were referring to the gardening tool). He did not want a funeral or memorial service; his exact words being “cremate me and dump me in the ocean”. We can all imagine him having a headstone saying “It’s Getting Weird Around Here”.  

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