Paula I hope you can find peace in knowing she is at peace. Her struggles are now over and by saying she was a loving person, you know she was thankful to have you and its ok to take a moment for the scar to heal. But then be at peace knowing a job well done has no regrets and is your reward you can embrace to help you with your journey in front of you. Walk it proud!  PS. I wouldn't add this if you didn't know me so well. I believe she saw you bowl Wednesday and wasn't happy you need to step it up! With a smile!