Quin Crosbie, 82, of Santa Monica, California, died peacefully at home surrounded by family and friends on Sunday morning, November 12, 2023.

Quin was a man who made deep, meaningful connections with everyone who knew him. He also loved to laugh and be silly. He was naturally creative, and family members enjoyed receiving handmade greeting cards whenever holiday and birthdays rolled around. He was an avid reader and also a consummate power napper!

Quin was born to Rollo and Etta Crosbie in Elkhart, Indiana, amid a large, close-knit Polish and Irish family. His father died when he was only six, a few months after his mother gave birth to his baby sister Karin. As she struggled to care for two kids and earn a meager living, Quin found solace in learning to play the clarinet. During high school his mother moved the family to Gary, Indiana, to find a better-paying job . There he attended Horace Mann high school, where he played in the marching band and was a member of a clarinet trio that won first place in the Ted Mack Amateur Hour in New York.

Quin went on to study Engineering at Purdue, where again he played in the marching band. Four years later, after enduring emergency surgery for a perforated ulcer, he took time off to work at Rancho La Puerta, a spa in Tecate, Mexico. There he led a children’s program, which became the inspiration for a career change. He decided to go back to school and earn his PhD in Psychology at University of Kansas.

At that point Quin married and started a family, giving birth to daughter Erica and, less than two years later, son Ryan. Fatherhood came naturally to Quin. When his kids were young, even after his divorce, he always found ways for them to have fun together going camping, finding dress up clothes at yard sales, and making up bedtime stories at night.

In 1974 Quin returned to California to begin working for New Start, a drug rehab program in Santa Monica. In 1982 he remarried and became step-father to Mickey and Brian. Quin gradually rose through the ranks of this agency and ultimately became Director. After seventeen years, emerging conflict within the agency led to a leadership change, and after Quin left, the agency dissolved.

In the early 90s, after his second divorce, Quin became actively involved in the Men’s Movement, participating in several different support groups, one of which continued until his death. During this period he changed course professionally, focusing from that point forward on building and sustaining a private psychotherapy practice. When a mutual friend introduced Quin to Jane Wheatley, thinking she might provide some insight on building a private practice, he met the love of his life.

Quin and Jane created a love story together that inspired all of those around them. They married on May 22, 1999, and Quin became step-father to Jane’s son Ben. Quin and Jane were passionate in their pursuit of deep, psychologically intimate conversation. They also were passionate about being in nature: regular walks on the beach; trips to the mountains to set up hammocks in the pine trees; vacations on Kauai’s north shore, where Quin enjoyed snorkeling while Jane watched from her hammock in the trees that line the beach while reading and writing; and boondocking in the wilderness in their small used RV.

As Erica, Ryan and Ben got married and started their families, Quin became “Grandpa Quin” to five boys. He embraced this role with every fiber of his being. During visits when the grandkids were little, he would wrestle around on the floor with Alex, Connor, Chris and Shea, go outside with them to wait for the school bus, and build precarious towers by stacking partly open books so they could be toppled over when they got home. Quin enjoyed collaborating with Ben to build Gavin’s crib and his birthday bounce house.

Throughout his marriage to Jane Quin faced many challenges with his health, which he always handled with grace and without complaint. Having successfully beat melanoma that metastasized to his lungs and brain, he managed to keep a positive attitude. He continued to maintain his private practice while enjoying ballroom dancing, music and singing, playing frisbee on the beach, and being a dedicated Dodger fan. He loved his “guys trips” to Las Vegas during March Madness with his best friend Mark Stevens and other male friends.

In 2019 Quin suffered kidney failure, caused by side effects of immunotherapy, which necessitated ongoing dialysis. Despite this Quin continued to work with clients and participate in various support groups. He was a lifelong learner with hundreds of books lining the walls of his office, reflecting the depth and breadth of his interests. Just before his birthday in 2022, he suffered a stroke. The loss of most of his speech due to aphasia and apraxia forced him into retirement. As hospitalizations became more frequent, he became the favorite patient of all his nurses and other hospital attendants. And still he continued to sing his hello greeting when he answered his phone. Even as his words grew more limited, he always made time for a call.

Quin is survived by his partner/wife Jane of 31 years, his daughter Erica, his son Ryan, and their families: Erica’s husband Jeremy and grandsons Connor and Shea; Ryan’s wife Carmen and grandsons Alex and Christopher; Jane’s son Ben and grandson Gavin; nephew Mike and niece Maureen; stepson Brian, wife Aria, and daughter Dalia.

Quin will be remembered for his kindness, his patience, and his capacity for accepting whatever life brings while maintaining a good attitude. On the outside he was calm and stable, and on the inside he had strength and a commitment to his beliefs and his understanding of himself. In place of his physical presence, we are left with the warmth of our memories-- the touch of his hand, the clarity of his gaze, the rich closeness that emerged when his capacity to listen with an open heart left us feeling heard and valued-- truly loved. 

A memorial for Quin and a celebration of his life will be scheduled for March 16, 2024, just before the Spring Equinox. Please save the date and bring memories to share. 

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