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In memory of

Phyllis "Phyl" Clare Schechter

Wilsonville, OR, USA

August 29, 1927 - December 6, 2020

Aug 29, 1927 - Dec 6, 2020

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Our mother, Phyllis Schechter, died Sunday evening, December 6, 2020, in the foster care home to which she had recently moved. She had turned 93 on August 29.
For months Phyllis had been aware of her decline, but her appreciation of life continued. She watched movies, painted lovely canvases, enjoyed favorite foods, laughed easily, and FaceTimed often. She took interest in all that was happening in the world, including the last election. Years ago Phyllis had overcome cancer, and for the last five years had experienced comparable physical challenges. She kept on, forming close friendships with staff and residents of the two assisted living facilities in which she lived. Until covid, she enjoyed most activities, supported residents, and learned more about herself. Both shy and outgoing, Phyllis loved talking with people from all walks of life. She was deeply empathetic, generous, and compassionate, and someone in whom people confided and from whom they sought advice.
Born in Maspeth, New York, in 1927, Phyllis grew up and spent most of her life in New Jersey. Her parents, Joe and Bea Bildner, were from New York, where they began a mom and pop grocery business that became a huge success when they moved the business to New Jersey. Phyllis idolized her brother, Allen, a year older and her favorite playmate. She enjoyed a close relationship with her Uncle Moe, a policeman, who lived with the family for a time. Growing up, she was a gifted athlete, and loved music, drawing, dancing, and playing the piano. All of these became life-long sources of enjoyment.
Phyllis married her husband, Leonard, right after graduating from Syracuse University with a degree in home economics. She briefly wrote a column for the family business, but after her son, Steve, was born became a full-time homemaker. Jay came three years later, Stacie four years after Jay. Her children brought Phyllis immense joy. With a terrific imagination, playful nature, and sense of fun, Phyllis had a wonderful rapport with her own children and those of others. She made up stories, some accompanied by her original piano playing, was an acclaimed Cub Scout den mother, and attended every one of Steve’s high school basketball games.
Phyllis loved outings by car with her children, and they explored New Jersey, New York City, and Pennsylvania. Especially memorable were longer trips to Florida and Atlantic City. Art and nature were an important part of the family life due to Phyllis’ influence. She always had a deep appreciation of the natural world, and a capacity to connect with her surroundings intimately in awe and wonder. Her desire to see and experience life’s richness and beauty profoundly shaped her children’s lives. When they were older, Phyllis earned her teaching degree from Kean College. She then worked and excelled as an aide at a school for deaf children at the Millburn School for the Deaf.
She and Len divorced after 29 years, and Phyllis moved to New York City and created a new life for herself. Jay was in remission from Hodgkin’s Disease, and was at Columbia University as a grad student and associate professor. Phyllis visited with Jay, took painting lessons and writing classes at the New School, earned her art therapy certification there, and did an art therapy internship at Theresa Grotta Center for Rehabilitation. Phyllis later earned her real estate license in New York.
While living in the City, Phyllis met and sponsored two young music students, pianists who became outstanding performers and teachers. One of them, Israeli Ariel Halevy, grew to be family to her and to her family. Phyllis was also active in charities like City Harvest, which addressed hunger in New York City. After Jay’s passing in 1986, she funded scholarships in his name at Hiram College and at the Hole In The Wall Gang Camp for seriously ill children, among her other tributes.
Phyllis later moved to Montecito, California to be near Stacie and her husband, Lou (and later, daughter Emily) and Steve and his wife, Linda. For years she was the principal sponsor of the Empty Bowls Lunch, the principal fundraiser for Santa Barbara County’s Food Bank. Phyllis remained in touch with her inner child, dressing up in a witch’s costume each Halloween and siting on the sidewalk near her apartment building to give candy to trick-or-treating children.
Five years ago, Phyllis moved to Oregon to be near Stacie. Her health crises began soon after she arrived. With Lou’s help, Stacie became her mother’s principal caregiver, doing whatever she could to give Phyllis the best quality of life possible. This meant several moves as Phyllis’ needs changed.
Phyllis had always dreamed of having her own art show, and for her 90th birthday the family surprised her and fulfilled that dream. Phyllis was pleased and astounded by the positive response to her paintings in her senior residence. She continued painting even with a painful, arthritic shoulder, and sang tunes she loved despite breathing difficulty. At Thanksgiving last year Ariel visited Phyllis from Israel and performed two concerts at her residence, a precious time for the whole family.
Phyllis’ granddaughter, Emily, gave Phyllis extra delight in the last years and days of Phyllis’ life, and she cherished every one of Emily’s visits and calls.
No memorial service is planned. Those interested in making a contribution in Phyllis’ name might donate to their local food bank while the need is really great.

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