Memories of Phyllis "Phyl" Clare Schechter

In memory of

Phyllis "Phyl" Clare Schechter

Wilsonville, OR, USA

August 29, 1927 - December 6, 2020

Aug 29, 1927 - Dec 6, 2020

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Susan Sockwell Bendlin

Steve and Linda, I've missed being in touch with you and I'm so sorry to learn belatedly about the passing of your mother, Steve. This message is simply to let you know that there is still a connection between old friends despite the passage of time.

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Deborah Neal

Phyllis was so very special. We spent a lot of time together in her lovely apartment in Montecito. I learned how important it is to take care of myself. There were many unknowns I was facing , her friendship and wisdom were timely and gave me courage.
I think too I learned about letting go ...
She was a most significant and influential woman in many ways and forever in my heart. These are only a small sharing of what I learned from Phyllis.
♥️

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In response to "What did you learn from Phyllis?"

Comments:

steve schechter

thanks so much for your comment here, deb. wishing you every blessing in the new year. much love and gratitude!... Read more thanks so much for your comment here, deb. wishing you every blessing in the new year. much love and gratitude! thanks so much for your comment here, deb. wishing ... Read more

Jessica White

Dear Stace, Steve & Linda,
All of you and Phyllis were and still are like family to me!
My condolences for your loss on this side, but I know that she is not just resting in Peace, but truly enjoying her ride on the other side! I love seeing these pics of her, reflecting on all the time I spent with her in Santa Barbara. I miss your form Dear Phyl, but I am so happy for you to truly be resting in love and at Peace. Till we meet again!

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Jessica White

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Deborah Neal

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Elaine Nakashima

Dear Steve & Stace,
I am so glad I had a couple of opportunities to meet and see your mom while she was living her vibrant life, visiting with Steve and here in Santa Barbara for the many Empty Bowls. events. She struck me as someone larger than life, w/gravitas, poise and dignity, kindness and intelligence. While reading the extraordinary obituary you wrote about her, I must have said, "Wow!" aloud more than 10 times, easily. (I'm thinking your mom was descended from cats--inheriting their quality of having 9 lives, having accomplished so much good in her time here!)

All the while reading about her, I kept feeling like I was also reading about the two of you, as clearly there are many positive ways in which you have taken after her. I am sure that after all was said and done, the two of you were her biggest accomplishments, knowing fully who you are and what you stand for in the world. This world is a much better place from having had her among us, and continues on with the generosity of spirit that you both put forth. Thank you for putting this site together and sharing your mom's legacy with all of us. I feel enriched and moved by just having read about her. What an inspiration!

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stacie schechter

Comments:

stacie schechter

Thank you so much Elaine for sharing your lovely remembrance of Phyllis. Steve wrote her obituary that absolutely... Read more Thank you so much Elaine for sharing your lovely remembrance of Phyllis. Steve wrote her obituary that absolutely flowed from ... Read more Thank you so much Elaine for sharing your lovely remembrance... Read more

steve schechter

thanks so much for your comments and gift in her memory, elaine. i'm so glad you got to spend time with my... Read more thanks so much for your comments and gift in her memory, elaine. i'm so glad you got to spend time with my mom at empty bowls,... Read more thanks so much for your comments and gift in her memory,... Read more

Deborah Neal

Learning of Phyllis’s passing was unexpected and I still find it hard imagining this world without her . Her laugh and willingness to lend an ear surpasses anyone I’ve known.
She will live forevermore with some of the fondest memories I will probably ever know.
My deepest condolences to you my dear friend Stace, Lou, Wewen and Steve & Linda.
Love comfort you.🙏♥️

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Comments:

steve schechter

thanks so much, deb! hope the holiday season is a lovely one for you, and the new year a happy, healthy one.... Read more thanks so much, deb! hope the holiday season is a lovely one for you, and the new year a happy, healthy one. much love and appreciation... Read more thanks so much, deb! hope the holiday season is a lovely... Read more

Lucille Guarino

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Comments:

Lucille Guarino

As Allen’s Assistant, I got to speak with Phyllis biweekly. She was such a lovely, warm and kind-hearted... Read more As Allen’s Assistant, I got to speak with Phyllis biweekly. She was such a lovely, warm and kind-hearted woman. I enjoyed my... Read more As Allen’s Assistant, I got to speak with Phyllis biweekly.... Read more

steve schechter

thanks so much for your comments here, lucille, and all the help and kindness you offered our mom. may this... Read more thanks so much for your comments here, lucille, and all the help and kindness you offered our mom. may this holiday season be ... Read more thanks so much for your comments here, lucille, and... Read more

Kathy Kalb

I grew up in Phyllis’s house almost as much as my own. Right down the street, it was a pit stop, a place ... Read more I grew up in Phyllis’s house almost as much as my own. Right down the street, it was a pit stop, a place to have a sleepover and... Read more I grew up in Phyllis’s house almost as much as my own.... Read more

stacie schechter

Thanks for sharing those memories Kath, they're dear to my heart. ♥️ Thanks for sharing those memories Kath, they're dear to my heart. ♥️ Thanks for sharing those memories Kath, they're dear... Read more

Ariel Halevy

Phyllis was like a second mom to me.
I met her soon after arriving i n New York for my piano studies at the Mannes School back in 1994. It was thanks to her precious son Steve Schechter whom together with his wife Linda I had met a few years earlier while performing as soloist with an orchestra in Santa Barbara.
I will never forget how, upon being accepted to Mannes, my mom callled Steve to ask for his advice: I was granted a full scholarship by the school, but still needed help with living expenses in New York. My dad had passes away when I was in 9th grade and my mom was struggling financially. She was hoping to find out if Steve knew of some venues, perhaps in the Jewish community in New York, to whom we could turn. He immediately said: " I will do it".
It was through this act of sheer generosity and kindness on the part of Steve, and later Phyllis, that I could fulfill my dream and travel to New York...and spend 7 and a half unforgettable years there.
As a New Yorker I got to know Phyllis from up close, we got together on a regular basis, she heard me play the piano, we had dinners, went to museums, concerts, movies and spent many incredible hours at her beautiful apartment on the Upper East side. Phyllis got me my first tuxido when I had to play a gig with a world renowned violinst whose pianist canceled in the last minute and desperately needed an immediate replacement. She even got me all dressed up for a date(!) saying mockingly at the stuff I was wearing for the occasion: "Ari, this looks terrible! You cannot go on a date wearing THAT!" I particularly remember going one evening to shop at the Gap, upon her request- and coming out of there with no less than 8 bags(four in each hand)including shirts, turtlenecks, coats and overalls, some of which I still wear to this day.
Above all Phyllis gave me a feeling of home. Her heart was so open and sweet and the kindness and care I received from her are way beyond what I could ever describe. When she went to visit her kids in California, I was given the key to her apartment and used to go there and practise the beautiful Steinway grand piano she had bought, with her beautiful paintings surrounding me all over. We would talk on the phone, and she would want to make sure that there is enough food in the fridge for me, and healthy one too.
One summer while I was studying at th Aspen Festival she went apartment searching for me, she checked out the dorms to make sure it was decent enough and when I finally got there, there were boxes and boxes filled with bathroom and kitchen stuff, sheets, towels and a piano... it was overwhelming. My simple dorm room had been turned into a 5- star hotel.
When I played my debut solo recital at Carnegie's recital hall, Phyllis arranged a magnificent reception following the concert, where people could greet me and enjoy a great meal, and make a toast.
I returned to my native Israel in 2002 but we always kept in touch and I was so lucky to visit Phyllis a few more times. Once with the woman I was then married to, once when I played in Santa Barbara with a local chamber ensemble, and one final time last year during the Thanksgiving holida. She had already been living in Oregon at the time, next to her sweethearts: beloved daughter Stacie, son-in-law Lou and granddaughter Wenwen.
Each of these visits was characterized by the boundless generosity of the entire family, and I would always feel like the luckiest person alive.
The love I feel for Phyllis, and the hole that her passing left in my heart will always be with me. She was such a unique soul. To me, she had no age. She was simply an angelic being with a heart of gold.
To her son Steve, her daughter Stacie, Linda, Lou and Wenwen-
you are family to me.
I feel your grief, Phyllis was such an incerdible gift in our lives.
We will love and remember her forever, and her legacy will live on!

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Comments:

steve schechter

thanks so much, arik, for this sweetness, and all the joy and beauty you brought my mom and our entire family.... Read more thanks so much, arik, for this sweetness, and all the joy and beauty you brought my mom and our entire family. we love you more... Read more thanks so much, arik, for this sweetness, and all the... Read more

Joe Lopez

Dear Steve,
Thank you for including me in you Mom's memorial. This is one of the dearest memorial's I've ever read. Through your sharing her story with us I feel like I knew her. My condolences to you and Linda.
We send you Mom Love and may she rest in Peace.
With Love,
Joe

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Comments:

steve schechter

thank you so much, joe--we so appreciate your being part of this memorial. much love to you always-- thank you so much, joe--we so appreciate your being part of this memorial. much love to you always-- thank you so much, joe--we so appreciate your being... Read more

Peter Eller

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Comments:

Peter Eller

Loved knowing Phyllis! Always had great fun with her. Loved knowing Phyllis! Always had great fun with her. Loved knowing Phyllis! Always had great fun with her.... Read more

steve schechter

so glad you got to spend time with her, pete! so glad you got to spend time with her, pete! so glad you got to spend time with her, pete!

Jolene Ferguson

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Jolene Ferguson

Sending you love and virtual hugs! You all will always be a part of my heart!

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stacie schechter

Comments:

stacie schechter

And you will always be a part of ours. Thank you for being such a big part of mom's story. 💜💜 And you will always be a part of ours. Thank you for being such a big part of mom's story. 💜💜 And you will always be a part of ours. Thank you for... Read more

steve schechter

jolene, you've been a godsend. i cannot imagine what our journey with our mom would have been without you... Read more jolene, you've been a godsend. i cannot imagine what our journey with our mom would have been without you in these last years.... Read more jolene, you've been a godsend. i cannot imagine what... Read more

Lucie Flood

I still remember so well the sunny afternoon I first met Phyllis at a Party on the Patio at the retirement community I used to work at. I was immediately drawn to her humor and curiosity, and was so glad she decided to move in with us. Over time, I got to know her well as a caring, generous, inspiring and wonderfully vulnerable person with a great sense of art and a flair of eccentric freedom.
I will always remember your laughter, Phyllis, and that slightly mischievous spark in your eyes!

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stacie schechter

Comments:

stacie schechter

She always enjoyed having the opportunity to speak with you Lucie. I remember her very nterested in your ... Read more She always enjoyed having the opportunity to speak with you Lucie. I remember her very nterested in your love life too! 😉 You ... Read more She always enjoyed having the opportunity to speak ... Read more

Jana Orr

I got the pleasure of being blessed by Phyllis at one of the assisted care facilities I worked at briefly. She always encouraged me to keep fighting my battles and to stay strong. I always enjoyed my visits with her and her family in the dinning hall. She will be forever missed. She lived an amazing life and gave so much to so many people including myself. Sending my love, prayers and gratitude to the family. Love jana

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