In Loving Memory of

Paul Michael Schnaufer

August 8, 1981 – December 6, 2023

With profound sadness, we share that Paul Michael Schnaufer passed away on December 6, 2023, at the age of 42, leaving family, friends, and colleagues heartbroken by his sudden loss. Born on August 8, 1981, Paul was a rare combination of intelligence, generosity, quiet strength, and easy charm. Blessed with striking good looks and a warm, engaging presence, he drew people in effortlessly and made them feel seen, valued, and at ease. His passing has left an ache in the hearts of all who loved him.

A native of the San Fernando Valley, Paul grew up in Southern California and made the region his lifelong home. He studied at California State University, Northridge, and went on to earn an M.A. in European history. For approximately a decade, Paul devoted himself to education, teaching at the middle school, high school, and junior college levels. He was a thoughtful, demanding, and immensely supportive teacher who encouraged his students to think critically, to see the world more widely, and to believe in their own abilities.

After his years in the classroom, Paul transitioned into the business world, where he brought the same work ethic and mentorship spirit to a new arena. Paul achieved notable success in all of his business ventures. He served as the owner and CEO of several successful bartending schools as well as a successful hospitality staffing company. Colleagues remember him as insightful, entrepreneurial, and deeply committed to the people who worked with him, always ready to offer guidance, an opportunity, or a second chance.

Beyond his professional achievements, Paul’s life was marked by a strong commitment to service and philanthropy. He served on the Board of Directors of the Blind Children’s Center (BCC) in Los Angeles, a nonprofit dedicated to early childhood education for visually impaired children. He was also a volunteer with the Therapeutic Living Center for the Blind, where he gave his time and energy to support visually impaired adults in a residential setting. In addition, Paul served on the board of Valley Village, an organization providing housing and services for adults with developmental disabilities.

Paul also participated in the Big Brother program of Los Angeles, serving as a mentor and “big brother.” He dedicated many weekends, outings, and countless hours to ensure that his “little brother” could experience opportunities and parts of life he might not otherwise have known. Paul took this responsibility seriously and cared deeply about his role as a mentor, consistently showing up with patience, humor, and a genuine desire to enrich the life of another person.

In addition to his family, Paul shared an enduring, many-year relationship with a beloved friend who was often his closest companion and confidant. Their relationship had its ups and downs, as all significant relationships do. At times, either one of them had other romantic relationships, yet they always found their way back to one another, sometimes at the cost of unintentionally hurting others. Still, they remained in close and continual contact, bound by a deep mutual affection that seemed unshakable regardless of the turns their lives took. Whether or not they were romantically together at any given time over the course of their many-year relationship and friendship, Paul spent many happy weekends in her home, welcomed naturally as one of the family. He delighted in planning outings and activities with her and her child, creating memories that will last a lifetime for all involved. Despite living several hours apart, they never allowed distance to diminish their connection.

The importance of this relationship in Paul’s life was not always visible to others. A small circle of close friends from both of their lives were among the few who understood the depth of their bond and knew they had always remained in frequent contact, but many had little sense of the quiet, steady support they provided one another over the years. Some extended friends and business associates struggled to understand their connection and, at times, directed misplaced blame toward her. In later conversations, Paul acknowledged that he had not always been fully transparent about his own choices and actions, and that he had, on occasion, described events in ways that allowed others to assume she was involved when she was not. He expressed regret for the confusion and hurt this caused and was clear that his decisions were his alone.

Paul also spoke candidly about his long struggle with addiction and took responsibility for the choices that affected his life and relationships. He recognized that certain social circles had made sobriety more difficult and wished more people had understood how fragile that journey could be. He shared that he was not sober when he first met this friend, and that the longest periods of sobriety he achieved were closely tied to her encouragement to seek medical, therapeutic, and recovery-focused help. Her choice not to drink alcohol offered him a living example that a full and meaningful life without alcohol was possible and strengthened his hope for lasting change, even as he continued to confront the illness.

In the final months of his life, Paul and this friend quietly renewed and deepened their connection, reaffirming their bond and love for one another—a bond that needed no explanation to anyone but themselves and that few others knew had been restored or how much time they spent together in those months. During this period, he found in her a rare space where he felt safe to speak openly in ways he felt he could not with anyone else. In a candid, thoughtful, and loving email written in the last week of his life, Paul thanked her for wiping away his tears, encouraging him to let his emotions out rather than hold them in, and listening as he voiced lifelong regrets, worries, and concerns. He also shared how grateful he was that she remained present in his life even as other friendships faded.

Throughout their many years together, Paul and this friend were rarely out of contact, trading calls and messages, sharing jokes and favorite shows, and relying on a shared sense of humor that had drawn them together from the beginning. For Paul, this long relationship—rooted in laughter, honesty, love , and mutual care—was one of the defining relationships of his life. She and her child have grieved his loss with a depth that reflects the unique and irreplaceable place he held in both their lives.

Paul is survived by his loving parents, Karol and Don, who are heartbroken by his passing. He was preceded in death by his younger brother, and those who loved him take some comfort in the belief that the brothers are reunited. He also leaves behind extended family, colleagues, former students, and many friends whose lives were brightened by his presence, his generosity, and his unwavering willingness to help.

Paul’s memory will be cherished by all who had the privilege of knowing him. In his kindness, his service to others, his dedication to his work and causes, and the depth of his relationships, he leaves behind a legacy of care, loyalty, and love. His time on earth was far too short, but the impact he made—in classrooms, boardrooms, community organizations, and in the lives of those he held dear—will continue to resonate for years to come.

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