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The loss of a love one is never a pleasant experience, and I cannot feel what you feel, but I have experienced what you're experiencing. May the God of all comfort be with you.
As a disciple of Jesus and a Witness of Jehovah, I was a helper in home Bible studies with Paul. Each session was a wonderful exchange and Pauls' interest and faith appeared to grow from visit-to-visit. Thinking of him brings to mind the message in Matthew 5:3; 'Happy are those conscious of their spiritual need, since the Kingdom of the heavens belongs to them.' Paul showed a strong appreciation for the spiritual food he received from each Bible study. My faith tells my our God is a God of the living and Paul expressed those same feeling, so although he's not with us, he's in Jehovah's memory. I have faith and I strongly believe Paul has faith that at the appointed time Jehovah will call and Paul will answer.
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Paul DeMange