Whether you know her as Pat, Mom, Patty Cakes, Mama Cray, Peanut Head, Brooklyn Queen, Disco Diva, or Patty Pigeons, you know that she is, without a doubt, one of a kind. Hurricane Patty was a force to be reckoned with. She was and will always be beloved for her unfounded energy, love, and passion for being a mother, often taking the role of Mama Cray for her kids’ friends, and sometimes even strangers. Her maternal energy was palpable, and was felt and admired by everyone with whom she interacted. If she loved you, she let you know it, and if she didn’t, well… she probably let you know that too, but that’s who she was, unapologetically and brazenly herself.

Patty was a creative to her core, with a fire and drive that was gravitational and inspirational. She taught her family the importance of advocating for themselves and others, so much so that they can still hear her voice ringing, “as a consumer!" in their heads. Being dubbed an “honorary Stahl” by Pat was a coveted distinction because of the legendary family bond she helped cultivate. The “Toms River Stahls” are known for their quirkiness, bigheartedness, and affection, all of which Patty modeled for them.

Though Patricia’s presence and impact will remain eternal, a loss of this magnitude is sure to be felt. Will Bill and Dawn be able to procure their own cans of organic chickpeas? Will Kayla and Greg learn to buy their own paper towels? Will Kim and Kev remember to change their air filter? Will Dad be able to properly load the dishwasher to your liking? Will Maggie still beg for treats and belly rubs? We will. But not because we don’t miss or need you, but because you showed us how to take care of ourselves and the ones we love.

We’re going to miss your laugh, your smile, your paintings, your meatballs. The way you would ask, “who da hell is dis??” 2 hours into a movie in reference to the film’s lead who’s been on screen for 90% of the time. The way you would mail cards for every occasion to me and Kim, who live less than a mile away, then hand us a different card for the same occasion in person to make sure we know how loved we are (spoiler: we do!). The thoughtful care packages you’d send to Billy in Florida, guarded by a forcefield of thoughtfully placed tape to protect its precious contents for your precious “Bubba.” The wild excuses you would suggest we use to call out of work that would most definitely have gotten us fired if we were to have actually taken said advice. The way you would offer to beat up anyone who harmed your family or loved ones, no questions asked (thankfully, we never took you up on this offer…). The endless love, light, and support in which you showered those around you. The way you knew exactly what everybody needed even when we didn’t. We will miss everything about you.

Patty is survived by her beloved husband Bill, their three children, Kim, Billy, and Kayla, her kids’ spouses, Kevin, Dawn, and Greg, her dog, Maggie, her grandogs, Wookie, Guinness, Jersey, Ziggy, and Elmer, her extended family, and her chosen family, of which there are simply too many of you to name because this demographic consists of just about anyone who ever had the honor of interacting her. You’re all honorary Stahls.

On behalf of our family, thank you to everyone who made Patty feel seen and loved. As requested, we will be holding a celebration of life to honor this absolute legend at the Stahl household on Saturday, May 23rd from 2:00-8:00 pm. She also requested, “no sad shit” and that this party be a real “banger;” therefore, we will do our best to adhere to these expectations. To mitigate Patty’s spirit saying, “who da hell is dat?,” this event will be closed to family and close friends. Reach out to Kim, Billy, or Kayla for more information. 

Send to someone

Share this obituary with others

https://everloved.com/life-of/patricia-stahl-toms-river-nj/obituary/

Copy