The Bitter Bliss

Living in denial, sometimes is bliss

Escaping this agonizing reality with fragments of silly jokes and unrealistic hangouts

But each time I take off this unbelief I use in blindfolding my grief

There she is …

This wicked Reality

Holding a knife to my throat

Forcing me to accept her suicidal pill

If you don't understand

Get a God to describe my pain

‘Cos this is beyond my pen

My Eldest Brother is dead …

"Oh, please, SHUT UP!"

"No, he's not!"

This battle in my head has not ceased

My mouth is soar, my tongue is bitter

Ahhhg!

"How dare you say, “Rest in peace” to Oribi?

How dare you?

Take it down before I rip you to pieces"

This unbelief is violent

Ignored a pain that only shuffled its way and settled in my tomorrow

Well, today is that tomorrow

Sedated with a grief that tortures from within

Literally avoiding my own self

‘Cos I can't even trust this strength

But I've dressed my nest right on top these piercing thorns

Living in denial is far from bliss

I'll let them say, "Rest in Peace"

So I can eat this pain in bitter bliss.

Alaba Kontein

December 11, 2021.

Dear Oribi,

It’s been weeks since I heard about your transition. It hurts. It hurts so much. It’s even harder to accept that I’m currently writing this. I never in a million years imagined this.

I don’t understand. I really don’t. Life is really fickle. I have always looked up to you, your simplicity. Your passion. Everything.  You had the kindest and purest of hearts. I am so grateful to God that I met you. Thank you for everything. For the listening ears, for the advice, for teaching us all to me the best and truest version of ourselves.

It’s even more heartbreaking to know that I never got to meet you in person. Hmmm… Continue to fly with the angels. You’re loved forever.

I’ll do my best to make you proud.

Thank you my dearest friend.