Michelle M. Havens, having spread as much light as she could, graduated from Earth on Sept. 27 at the age of 53. She passed at her South Bend home with family beside her.

Through a lifetime of teaching — with pupils including elementary students at Knox and Stanley Clark, daughters, nephews, neices, friends, siblings, a husband and many more — Michelle skillfully imparted lessons in humanity as well as academics.

Perhaps her most powerful lesson was how much strength can reside in kindness, empathy and grace. Those traits came into sharp focus during 12½ years of treatment for neuroendocrine and breast cancers, the metastasis of which forced her to retire from school teaching in 2019.

Over the past few weeks, many former students and their parents wrote her letters of gratitude. They help tell the story of who Michelle was inside and outside the classroom.

“You became a beacon of light for me.”

“As you know, there is no greater gift to a mother than to know that her children are seen and loved for who they are.”

“You represent all that is good and sacred in this world.”

“I don’t know if I would have made it to college at all without your support and help.”

“I always remember thinking of you as a safe teacher to talk to.”

“I promise you I will never forget my loving, amazing and kind second grade teacher. I will certainly tell my kids about the woman that helped shape me into the man I am today.”

“The kindness and positivity I saw you bring to class every day even though you were starting to get sick just showed the type of person you are and the type of person I want to be for my future students.”

“It’s been 30 years since I was in your first 4th grade class at Knox, and I still look back on a daily basis and think of how much you helped shape me as an individual.”

Michelle was born March 17, 1971 in Hammond, Ind., the daughter of Michael Haugh, who preceded her in death, and Joan (Scherer) Haugh Beatty, who survives in North Judson, Ind.

She attended North Judson-San Pierre High School and Hanover College.

On July 2, 1994, she married Cory Havens, for whom she is not only the love of his life but also his best friend and his role model. Their nearly 32-year relationship is thanks to beloved friend Jennifer Patterson of Iowa City, Iowa, who literally tricked them into dating each other.

Michelle and Cory have two daughters and a daughter-in-law: Alison and her wife, Eve, and Elliana, who attends Indiana University.

Michelle taught for 6 years in Knox, Ind., where she also coached middle school volleyball before taking 8 years off with her daughters. She then taught second grade for 12 years at The Stanley Clark School in South Bend with partners Marianne King and Maura Visconsi.

Ali is heartened to know she and Ana weren’t the only ones to experience being Michelle’s kids. “Hundreds upon hundreds had the privilege of being cared for, fed, consoled, encouraged, listened to, educated, and cherished by my mother. To each be seen, known, understood and loved.”

Ana cherishes her mother’s encouragement for the girls to be their authentic selves and to find people who saw them and loved them for who they were. She also holds dear loving each other to the moon and back, the sun and back and farther into the expanding universe, learning that love expands infinitely just like space.

Michelle’s older siblings survive: Eileen Blanke of Cicero, Ind., Michael Haugh of Carmel, Ind., and David Haugh of Schererville, Ind. Her sisters-in-law, Patty Haugh and Allison Haugh, are true big sisters. And there is no genetic fluke that could make her lifelong friend Becky Reimbold of South Bend more of a sister to Michelle. Grandparents Cletus and Florence Haugh and Harold and Violet Scherer, and brother-in-law Shane Havens preceded her in death. She is also survived by nephews and nieces, including David, Jason and Megan Blanke, Collin, Evan and Ryan Haugh, Blair Haugh, Gwendolyn Schroeter and Isaac, Bella and Isaiah Havens; her in-laws, Bob and Millie Havens, brother-in-law Joshua Havens (Tiki), stepfather Ed Beatty, and well over 500 former students and athletes.

All of us who knew Michelle carry her light and spread it further into the world.

Even after her passing, Michelle continues to contribute to education and service, choosing to donate her body for science.

Michelle requested a celebration of life. It will be private due to the enormous outpouring of love and sympathy. We’d love to invite everyone but just can’t. We hope to livestream the event on YouTube. Please share photos and your favorite memories with Michelle on this site. Michelle requested no flowers, but feel free to donate in her honor to Metavivor (a charity focused on research into treatments of metastatic breast cancer), Pet Refuge or Our Lady of the Road.

She would also want you to show each other love and grace. And if a teacher made a difference in your life, let them know.

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