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Melissa Burbank McDowell

Auburn, CA

June 16, 1923 - October 15, 2018

Jun 16, 1923 - Oct 15, 2018

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Melissa Burbank McDowell Obituary
Written by Gwen Woltz
October 2018

Melissa June Burbank was born June 16, 1923 in Pittsfield, Massachusetts to Lila Grace McLaughlan and Roland Eleazer Burbank Jr. Along with her siblings, Elizabeth (Betty), Roland III (Bud), and Martha Ann (Polly), her childhood was filled with adventures in the forest, collecting pollywogs, playing in the sandbox, and playing games of Fireman Save my Child (with a 5lb bag of sugar). As a teenager she was an avid golfer and was the Western Massachusetts State Champion for her high school. Melissa also acted in the local theater in a production of “The Women.” Photos for this play produced some of her glamorous early pictures. After graduation, she worked at the local bank in Dalton.

To say her life was extraordinary is an understatement. Melissa was a bold spirit, and as a young woman of 23 she moved from her rural home town to the Big Apple to seek adventure. She took up work in advertising, and later met Robert (Bob) Evan Hathaway at a party. They fell in love and married in 1948. After they were married, they moved back to New England and quickly began having children. Melissa and Bob had 4 children: Mark, Holly, Candy, and Scott. They were the highlight of Melissa’s life. She dedicated her life to her children, and her vibrant positivity and optimism filled her children’s lives with joy. Her children cannot recall one moment when their mother was upset or angry—although anyone who knew Melissa knows she still had a delicate way of getting what she wanted. Sadly, Bob passed away unexpectedly after 13 years of marriage at the age of 36. Even in grief and loss Melissa charged forward and sought work in Hudson, Ohio, where she and her family lived at the time.

She began her second career at the office of the Superintendent of Schools in Hudson, Ohio, working for John McDowell. They fell in love and married 5 years later in 1966. She described John as a “prince”; he adored and doted on Melissa and treated her kids as if they were his own. Several years later, Melissa and John retired to Florida where she explored her creative side and began making pottery. She excelled in everything she took on, and pottery was no different. She was quite prolific, and many of her beautiful works fill her children’s and friends’ houses to this day.

After 11 years of marriage, Melissa faced death once again when John passed away. Even after losing a spouse for a second time, Melissa’s optimism and love for life carried her through. She once again sought employment and landed at the County Office of Elections in Sarasota, Florida working as the assistant to the Supervisor of Elections, Joanne Koester. As colleagues and friends, they worked together for 20 years until 1997 when they retired together.

Her love for plants and gardening led her to volunteer at the Gesneriad Research Foundation where she was president for several years. Led by Hans Wiehler, GRF’s research took Melissa and other members of the GRF to many countries throughout Central and South America, seeking adventure and new species of this largely unexplored plant. She even brought her granddaughter to Bolivia at age 13, one of Gwen’s life-changing moments. She also volunteered at Selby Gardens where she met many of her life-long friends.

After retirement, to give back to the community where she lived, she volunteered as a guardian ad litem for unrepresented foster children in the family court system. She represented several families of children, working closely with the children and their parents, imparting her wisdom and gentle advice to help them succeed in child-rearing and in life. This was without a doubt the most grueling volunteer work she did but was impactful and rewarding.

In her later working years and continuing through her retirement years, she nurtured her travel bug. Fearless and fierce, she ventured to the far reaches of the world at every opportunity. Melissa loved learning about new places and meeting new people. She was curious to learn about all the wonderful ways of life, keeping her mind open and in awe of the fascinating people from all the places she visited. Her travels brought her to many countries throughout Europe, Morocco, Egypt, Greece, sailing in the Caribbean, sailing in the Aegean sea off the coast of Croatia, Africa, Mexico, Central and South America, China, Tibet, Thailand, and Canada. Even in her final months she ventured on a two week cruise from Florida to Italy, then to Cortes Island in British Columbia.

Melissa—known as Mimi by her grandchildren—was always supportive of her children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren, often taking them along on her travels, making regular visits, and always eager to FaceTime or check out their latest updates on Facebook.

Melissa was a wonderful cook and knew the importance of nutritious and home cooked meals. Her family and friends benefited greatly from her fervor for cooking. She often hosted parties and gatherings where peoples’ fondest memories are of Melissa’s home cooked meals. She had an extensive collection of cookbooks, with carefully marked and noted favorites. Many of her recipes still live on in the family Pepperplate app.

While in Florida, Melissa lost her mother, her sister Betty and her brother Bud, but the most difficult loss was her youngest son, Scott, who passed away in 2009. Losing her son was incredibly difficult for the whole family, but Melissa was always steadfast and positive even in the darkest moments.

Still living independently and reaching her 90’s, Melissa decided to sell her home of 45 years in Sarasota and move to California to live with her daughter Candy in Auburn. Candy’s other half, Rory, built a beautiful addition to their home for Melissa in anticipation of her move west. With many of her grandchildren, great grandchildren, and sister, Polly, close by, Auburn was a perfect place to live out the rest of her life.

Melissa charged through life—she was constantly on the move and was always learning new things. She often said that when you stop moving so does your life, and she certainly practiced what she preached. She attended exercise and balance classes at the local senior center, and she was even climbing a flight of stairs with regularity in her final days. Melissa lived her life by example, was her family and friends’ biggest role model, and was loved by everybody she met. She taught us all to live life to the fullest, to see the good in people, and to take the time to enjoy good food and wine.

Melissa passed on October 15, 2018 and is survived by her sister Polly Clement, her children Mark Hathaway, Holly Welsh, Candy Woltz; her grandchildren Nathan Hathaway, Lance Hathaway, Tiffany Dyer, Kendra Hathaway, Erika Sudderth, Seth Woltz, Gwen Woltz, Ryan Woltz, Evan Hathaway, Lauren Hathaway; her great grandchildren Melissa Mae Gonzalez, Kyler Sudderth, Liana Sudderth, Caleb Hathaway, Mateo Hathaway, Layla Woltz; and many friends and extended family members too numerous to mention.

She will be deeply missed and forever loved.

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In lieu of flowers, consider a gift to Selby Gardens.

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