First, my sincere condolences to John and Mary's entire family -- we will all miss her sweet smile, bubbly personality and positive outlook on life.  I feel very privileged to have been her friend and companion for an important part of our shared time together.

I met Mary ("MaryLu" as we called her then) through a mutual friend when we all decided to share an apartment at San Jose State with 6 or more young female students.  For many of us it was our first experience of group living away from home and it nearly ended in disaster for us all.  Our apartment was one of many in a large complex which kept an open-door policy every afternoon and all day on weekends -- in other words, as soon as classes were over, we partied!

Soon we all received warning notices from the college that we were on probation and in danger of failing school.  Mary and I had a long talk and decided we didn't want our education and potential careers to end so abruptly and we would have to move out ASAP. 

We found a furnished studio apartment near campus -- one main room with a Murphy (wall-type) bed which had a habit of trying to close on us whenever we slept on it! and a tiny kitchen with a vintage gas stove and frig.  But it was quiet and we stayed there over the Christmas break to read our textbooks and write our papers and study for our exams which happened after school resumed in January.  It wasn't pretty, but we both managed to pass our classes and continue more studiously for the rest of the year.

When Mary and John became engaged and planned their wedding and new life together that June, she asked me to be her Maid of Honor, which I felt honored and excited to accept.  We had become good friends and confidants over the year, with many long and soulful discussions on a variety of significant topics for any young person trying to sort out who they are and what they want to do with their lives. 

Their wedding was great fun, especially the reception aboard the ship which would carry Mr. and Mrs. John Finegold off to Hawaii for their honeymoon, the continuation of their education, and the start of their new life together.  It might have been a traumatic farewell for me, except that I was flying to Honolulu the next morning to attend summer session at the University, so I knew I would see the newlyweds again before long.

We did manage to get together over that summer, amidst classes, settling in, and getting to know the islands and, of course, enjoying the gorgeous weather and beach time.  But before long, it was time for me to head back to the Mainland to continue my education and leave MaryLu and John behind in Paradise.  We knew that saying goodbye would be gut-wrenching.

My parents had arrived in Honolulu for the last of my weeks there and to accompany me back home (perhaps to ensure that I DID return?)  But when it came time to board our aircraft back to San Francisco, Mary and John hadn't arrived at the airport yet to say our tearful goodbyes.  Upon the last call for boarding, my parents and I walked to the rear stairway, entered the plane, and took our seats.  I chose a window so I could watch to see if they somehow showed up.

When I looked more closely, I saw them running out the terminal door and across the tarmac, waving frantically to me.  Just as the stewardess was closing the door and they began driving the stairway away, I dashed out the door and jumped for the stairs, ran down the ramp and cross the tarmac as Mary ran to me and we hugged and cried and kissed and cried some more, promising to keep in touch often and never forget our time together. 

The flight attendant shouted to me to return immediately or they would have to take off without me.  The driver of the moveable stairway drove it back into position for me to run up and re-board the plane, while they closed the cabin door tightly behind me.  I sat in my seat, waving and blowing kisses to Mary and John, crying like a toddler who just lost their helium balloon and I cried all the way back to California.  I didn't see Mary and John again until my wedding reception many years later, when they were living back in California and brought their beautiful new baby boy, Teddy, to a happy reunion in our home.

One of my favorite treasures from Mary and John's wedding reception is a pair of amber champagne glasses which we all used to toast the new bride and groom onboard the ship (and I managed to pilfer and guard carefully over the years).  Whenever the glasses have been used for a celebration, I added a little toast to the couple I only saw briefly over the years but still loved with my whole heart nevertheless.  They were and still are special people separately and an awesome, incredible couple together. 

I continue to admire and miss them both and will hold them both in my heart and memory as long as I live.  When I heard the sad news about Mary's passing, I thought it was appropriate to have one last glass of champagne and give one last toast of cheer and farewell to my dear friend, and then retire the glasses forever.

 With much love and affection, Pat (Barnatone) Dorin

Rest in peace, Mary, and keep on dancing!