Mary's obituary
Born in Detroit, Michigan on April 17, 1937, Mary graduated from Grosse Pointe High School; earned a B.A. in Economics from the University of Michigan; and an M.A. in Russian Studies from New York University.
Mary was deeply committed to her family, her community, and the Unity Temple Unitarian Universalist Congregation. An avid sports fan, she cheered loudest for the Detroit Tigers, U of M football, the Detroit Red Wings and later, the Chicago Cubs. Deeply superstitious about sports, Mary believed that ironing during games brought victory to her beloved Tigers. The colors maize and blue dominated her wardrobe. Mary believed in keeping traditions alive and faced strong resistance each Christmas by insisting on making English plum puddings. Her daughters are almost certain to continue. Mary was a quilter and knitter who tackled many craft projects with an “I can make that” attitude. She was also an excellent bridge player who converted to online matches in recent years. She played classical piano and was a true music lover.
Mary would want you to know that she recently celebrated 38 years of sobriety and was a firm believer in the power of Alcoholics Anonymous. She supported many in joining “The Club” as she called it, and would want to assure you that you are not alone.
Mary liked having a sense of purpose. She rarely sat idle. Her final job was bookkeeper for the local, non-profit Ten Thousand Villages fair trade shop, combining interests in orderly numbers and doing good.
An optimist, Mary smiled often and loved completely. She was curious, playful, and lived on her own terms. Attempting to cut back on sweets she decided to no longer eat round cookies and firmly stuck by that rule for years, despite the scarcity of square options. She was an extrovert and thrived when surrounded by people but in her final moments, she was with the two people she cared for most deeply in this world – daughters Jennifer Marling and Carrie Bankes.
Mary is also survived by her grandchildren Julia, Abby and Will Bankes, who knew her as “Bama” and brought endless joy; her son-in-law, Steve Bankes, who she adored; her brother John Tower (Susan), sister Sue Conklin (Robert); many nieces, nephews and cousins; and lots and lots of good friends – some of whom she’d known since early childhood. She is preceded in death by her parents, Lewis and Virginia Tower.
In lieu of flowers, Mary would likely suggest shopping at Ten Thousand Villages for a gift for a friend; buying a ticket to a music event; or dropping some money in the offering basket at Unity Temple where it will be given to charity. She was also a supporter of Smile Train and Heifer International.
A celebration of her life will be held at Unity Temple on Saturday, December 2 at 2:00pm, 875 Lake Street, Oak Park, Illinois. Round cookies will not be served.
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