Mary Margaret (Swain) Dunlap died peacefully in her home on November 6, 2023 at the age of 84. She is survived by siblings Joseph Swain (Edith), and Helen Selph, and in-laws Reggie Swain, Tino Diaz, Kate Swain, and Sharon Aliff. She was preceded in death by husband Wayne and siblings Charles Anthony, John, Judy, James, Vincent, And Daniel. Mary was born in Detroit Michigan on May 12, 1939 as the first-born child of Josephine (Russell) and Charles Swain (Carmelo Sammut). She would later become the big sis and second mother to eight siblings and wife to Wayne Dunlap.

At the age of 14, Mary struggled with many health issues, spending the better part of that year in the hospital. Her parents were informed that she was unlikely to survive beyond her 16th birthday. Many tests and treatments were performed to determine the underlying cause of her illness. Her doctors finally diagnosed Mary with lupus and rheumatoid arthritis. Fortunately for her, a new anti-inflammatory drug called Prednisone, with potentially miraculous results, had recently been discovered. Her doctors immediately prescribed an extremely high dose, making her pain bearable for the first time in many months. Although Prednisone helped tremendously in relieving her pain, the high dose over such a long period of time resulted in damage to her tendons, nerves and joints, creating many new challenges to for her overcome. Mary was never one to complain about anything. When asked about her health, she always responded “I am doing well, fairly well. How are you doing?”

Mary had a strong belief in education. Her desire to maintain her studies in spite of her pain, as well as her interest in learning all of the science behind the tests and procedures involved in her treatment and hospitalization endeared her to much of the hospital staff. Many of the doctors and nurses that cared for young Mary grew to love her and felt very protective of her. As she prepared to leave the hospital, they found a job for her with Dr. Lewis in his respiratory research lab. Dr. Rachel Turner also mentored her, inviting Mary to accompany her to many of the medical conferences she attended once Mary was able to return to school. Following her high school graduation, Mary attended Wayne State University in Detroit, MI. There her free time was spent enjoying art and chamber music. At one of the recitals she met Wayne Dunlap, a young cellist and social worker. They were introduced by a mutual friend who happened to be the pianist for the group, beginning a relationship that would last many years until Wayne’s death. Wayne and Mary frequently pursued cultural activities and interests together while dating. They were also part of the Young Christian Workers outreach program supporting the underserved residents of downtown Detroit.

After they were wed, Mary and Wayne moved to the West Coast, initially residing in Arcadia, CA where Mary, utilizing the knowledge gained in Dr. Lewis’ lab, worked at LA County Hospital as a respiratory therapist. Eventually they moved north, settling in Saratoga, CA where Mary pursued her career in respiratory therapy at San Jose Medical Center. Always seeking to challenge herself, Mary chose to return to school at San Jose State where she obtained her Bachelor of Science in Nursing. Following the completion of her BSN, she went on to work as an oncology nurse at both San Jose Medical Center and Good Samaritan Medical Center. It was during her years as a healthcare provider that she felt the most challenged and fulfilled. She formed some of her most cherished and long-lasting friendships “there in the trenches”. When her rheumatoid arthritis became too painful to support the physical demands of nursing, she transitioned her work to utilization review. Mary and Wayne were married until the time of his death on November 10, 2003.

Mary was also an active member of the Northern California Lupus group. She was truly inspired by the friends she met there, many of whom faced significantly greater challenges and yet managed to persevere and thrive. The bond of Lupus forged deep and lasting friendships that were a source of constant support.

Mary was a lifelong learner with an incredibly sharp mind and a deeply caring spirit. She kept her skills honed and up to date, maintaining her nursing license far past retirement, all the way into her eighties. Her amazing brain allowed her to recall fond memories of her childhood, her extensive family and her long and wonderful life in rich, exquisite detail, delighting her family and friends. Mary was an avid reader devouring both fiction and non-fiction literature throughout her life. She studied history extensively at The Institute for the Study of Western Civilization where she served on the board of directors for nearly ten years. She was also active in the arts as season ticket holder for the theater and the opera.

Throughout her life she took care of her large and beloved family touching each person’s life in a special way with her generosity and kindness. Mary was an excellent listener with sage and loving wisdom borne from her lifetime of experience. Her advice often included witty and sometimes hilarious aphorisms dating all the way back to her own parents.

Mary’s cooking could put many of the best restaurants to shame. Those fortunate enough to have dined at her table, were surely counting the days until their next invitation.

One of Mary’s many commendable attributes was her perseverance. Though she lived much of her life with chronic pain, it was invisible to most. Never one to make others aware of her struggles, Mary found a way to solve each problem she encountered while helping her family and friends until the very end of her life. For someone whose doctors told her at age 14 that she only had two years to live, the fact that she lived beyond 84 years old is truly remarkable, providing hope and inspiration for subsequent generations of her loving family.

Family and friends are invited to attend either or both of the celebration of life events to be held at 1PM on Sunday, May 19, 2024 at the Institute for the Study of Western Civilization, 10060 Bubb Rd, Cupertino, CA and Sunday, June 23, at 3PM in Waterford, MI. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to the Institute for the Study of Western Civilization. https://westernciv.com/about-…

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