Mary's obituary
Mary DiMiceli, born Mary Grace Bonome on June 19, 1930, deceased on August 16, 2021
"When you're smiling, the whole world smiles with you." - click on this link for the song:
https://www.dropbox.com/s/8s0…
If my Aunt Mary had a life motto, this song title would have captured it perfectly. When she smiled, you couldn't help smiling along and being drawn into her warmth and charm.
Mary leaves behind her husband Vinny DiMiceli, Sister in-law Maria Desroches, Brother in-law Jonny DiMiceli, loving nephews Steven and Richard, nieces Maria and Julianna - as well as her sister's children Karen, David and their deceased brother Steven, Mary's deceased mother and father Santa and Louis, her beloved deceased sister Cathy (Catherine), and of course, Taipan and Lance - her dearly departed canine companions!
"You light up my life" (the music in the treasure box containing Taipan and Lance's ashes and toys)
click on this link for the song:
https://www.dropbox.com/s/h70…
"Life's a banquet and most people are starving, so live live live!", a quote from the film Auntie Mame, could also have been one of my Aunt's life mottos. My Aunt Mary was my own personal Auntie Mame, adding magic to my childhood like a fairy godmother, enriching me with her zest and enthusiasm for life's many treasures, and teaching me how to turn every moment into a feast. I remember when she and my uncle sent me to Europe at the age of 14 (a very generous confirmation gift). Leading up to the trip, she embarked on a vigorous course of training sessions and shopping outings. I had to relearn how to use a fork and knife, how to sit, how to dress, even which adjectives were allowed in my journal - words such as good and nice were banned! That early European adventure opened me up in ways I didn't know possible, as well as changing my entire outlook on life. I'm eternally grateful for that gift!
Mary and Vinnie were both Brooklyn kids, growing up in Italian neighborhoods in first- (Vinnie) and second- (Mary) generation Italian families. They met at Roseland, a popular dance hall in Brooklyn. Vinnie's first dance, however, wasn't with Mary, but rather with her mother Santa, a handsome woman, a protective mother, and (according to Mary) the better dancer of the two! Once Vinnie received parental approval, he was allowed to dance with Mary. As they danced for the first time, Mary started noticing details about Vinnie - the dirt under his finger nails, his scent - an aura of garlic mixed in with old spice and brill hair cream, his slightly uncouth but charming demeanor - nothing which she couldn't shine up and mold to her liking. Overall good bone structure and a handsome face with a striking resemblance to Jack Lemmon! Vinnie was her soul mate and life work, reflecting her attention to detail and overall life flair.
Mary was truly and singularly unique - colorful and flamboyant, drawing people in wherever she went. She really lit up a room, as the saying goes! People would often stare and start whispering when she'd make an entrance into a restaurant, wearing her special mix of bright colorful clothes and jewelry, hair and face always made up for an opening scene on Broadway. The world was her stage, regardless of which country, which people, which setting, which event - she was always ready to put her best foot forward and have fun. Even in the throws of despair, she'd put on a brave smile and make the best of every situation. I think it's perfectly put in the classic song by Charly Chaplin "Smile." Go to this link to hear the song, sung here by Jimmy Durante:
https://www.dropbox.com/s/2wu…
Aunt Mary was a hard-working ambitious business woman in the 50s and 60s, during the post WWII economic boom. In the boardrooms of some of NY city's swankiest skyscrapers, in the male-dominated industries of finance, banking and early high-tech, Mary donned her finest frocks and worked her way to the top, becoming an expert in industry- and company-specific programming for NCR's machines (precursor to computers). She was often the only woman in a sea of suits, like a flower brightening up a world made up only of shades of grey. Her smile and grace lit up a room, and she was able to talk her way through every challenge she faced. She had a small group of like-minded friends in the city, and they strutted up and down 5th Ave with their elegant hats, white gloves and spiky high-heels.
Eventually she opened her own business STB (Service Training Bureau) with her coworker and bosom buddie Irene, specializing in finding and training personnel to install NCR's customized systems. Her business was efficient and successful, earning her a reputation for service quality in the industry, and allowing her to take an early retirement and enjoy decades of travel and R&R with Vinnie. Her and Irene's business success also enabled them to buy a beautiful summer house in the Hamptons, a big old red house with a wrap-around porch, right on a bay teaming with clams, mussels and oysters. Every weekend in the summer months, the house was full of friends and family - a blur of smiles, laughter and huge banquets served in the large dining room, big enough to seat 30 people. There was an endless stream of trays with clams in all forms - baked, raw, stuffed, and rockefeller. There was also the warm and cozy red room, the green room and the map room, which had a round table always covered with a puzzle in progress. On the wrap around porch, there were big wooden rocking chairs facing the bay, perfect for cocktails at sunset. Another highlight in the house was one of the bedrooms upstairs, with two big sleigh beds, waiting to be pulled by Santa's reindeer over the rooftops of eastern Long Island.
After retiring early, Mary and Vinnie divided their time between New York, Florida (where they bought a condo in Coconut Creek), and "on the road." They bought a souped-up van and enjoyed cocktails at sunset all around the country. Some of their favorite destinations were Vermont in the fall for the changing of the leaves, the red rocks of Sedona in Arizona, Lake Tahoe in the summer, and spending time with their family and many friends.
Music interlude at the following link - "The Rose," sung here by Bette Midler. Mary and Vinnie heard her sing this live in Los Vegas, back in the day!
https://www.dropbox.com/s/4mv…
It's only in the eyes of others that we truly see how we affect change around us. I accompanied my Aunt Mary several times over the past 7 years to Holy Cross Hospital in Fort Lauderdale, where she was receiving blood transfusions and other treatments related to her leukemia. As soon as she walked up to the reception desk, it was as if royalty had arrived. All of the nurses lit up with big smiles, coming over to greet Mary, even if they were in the middle of something. Mary often came bearing gifts - sometimes with piles of costume jewelry from her personal collection, each piece thoughtfully picked out and wrapped for a particular nurse. Other times, it was the odd combo of crystal bowl, lampshade and feathered hats (from her Easter tradition). They all adored her and treated her like a queen.
Mary will live on in the memories, dreams and hearts of those of us left behind. It's best said in this quote, which I actually heard on an episode of Star Trek: Next Generation! "Death is that state, in which one exists only in the memories of others. So death is not an end, but rather just good memories."
In loving memory of Mary Grace, your devoted nephew Steven
Closing Song: ''Time to Say Goodbye'' - one of Mary's favorites, especially this version by Andrea Bocelli and Sarah Brightman
https://www.dropbox.com/s/9i2…
Here's a slideshow of some highlights from Mary's life, but of course it's not possible to capture 91 years of life in pictures alone. Please share your memories, stories and photos on this website for all to see (under the Memories tab).
Go to this link for the slideshow
https://www.dropbox.com/s/8q5…
Donation instead of flowers
Celebrate Mary's life and her love of animals with a memorial gift to her favorite charity, the humane society: