Papa’s Eulogy written by Dejah Keen, first granddaughter. 

For My Papa Marcos

I have the honor of speaking today about my grandpa, Marcos Colcol Quiban–better known to many as “Rusty” or Papa.

I wish to celebrate a man whose entire life has been dedicated to God, his family, and his community. A faithful husband to one, a kind father to five, a loving Papa to eight, a great-grandpa to two, and a friend to many.

It is truly a blessing to be one of his grandchildren and I will be forever grateful for that for the rest of my life. It is a challenge for me to speak today, to put into words the many things that I would like to say about him and to share the life lessons that he taught me.

Papa was above all else, a man of God, a family man, boxing enthusiast, herbalist, historian and followed very closely by a storyteller. He loved to share his life experiences with his grandchildren especially during meals. Hearing him talk about the challenges he had to face, growing up in poverty in the Province of the Philippines, how he ran away from home as a child to find work in the city of Manila, how a wealthy woman took him in to work as a maid boy in exchange she paid for his education, how he cheated death, how he went to Heaven and came back. It was like hearing something out of a LifeTime movie.

Out of all of the stories about his life though, my favorite will always be the one about how he met and fell in love with the woman who stole his heart, his greatest gift, his El. Papa was an older student at Baguio College and he was interested in learning another language, Spanish. He had initially wanted to take a course but abruptly dropped out when he saw my grandmother, the Spanish & English professor in passing, captivated by her beauty, and gentle smile. I asked him once, “Why didn’t you just take the class?” He simply replied, “I just couldn’t do it. I’d be too distracted by her and I needed to finish my degree.”

When God is the author of your love story, you simply cannot stop His plans, what is meant to be will be. Their paths crossed anyways as they were introduced by the librarian named Alice Balis. My Papa Marcos was in the library supposedly studying when he was actually a professional matchmaker! He would take your full name and that of your potential spouse, along with your birth dates to determine your compatibility score and if you were a love match or not. To this day, I have no idea how he did it! He also never confirmed nor denied if charged for providing such services.

My grandma needed to slim down her options of a potential husband. Although she had many pen-pals, one she was very fond of in Malaysia and he had a striking resemblance to my Papa. I do not know the details or how many times he did love calculations for her. The only fact of the matter is that for every single potential love calculation he completed for her, it all ended the same….failing results for every single one of them, not one passing score. I don’t know if he fabricated any of those results and if so I am elated that he did.

At one point, she got so fed up and demanded that he show her some glimpse of hope for a future husband. So the smooth man my Papa was, he puts down his own name and computes it with hers and lo & behold, their compatibility was over 90%, a confirmed and definite love match, he exclaimed.

And with that, that was the beginning of their love story. They courted for about a year, always accompanied by a chaperone, never allowed to touch one another. My Papa’s mother, great-grandma Felipa, was actually the original professional matchmaker because she was the one to discuss their marital arrangements. My Lola Honoria gave her blessing under the following conditions; Papa had to complete his college degree, get a stable job, and provide a dowry. He completed all conditions within the following year. He graduated from Baguio College and obtained a job as a history professor. He also scrambled and saved whatever he had, even borrowing from his own brothers to save enough money. My Papa did absolutely everything so that he could marry the woman of his dreams, his darling El.

He spent the rest of his life completely and utterly devoted to her and the family that they created. Even in his last days, the love you could still see in Papa’s eyes for this woman he went through life with was nothing short of amazing. Papa was hanging on to allow Grandma enough time to smile at him and hold her hand even if for just a moment longer. We can all learn from them, tomorrow is not promised, our time together here on Earth is finite, even 58 years together is a blip in the realm of the world.

Some say it’s what you leave behind on this earth that shows what you did with your life. What my Papa taught me was to always have your priorities straight; faith, family, and forgiveness…in that order.

Faith. Putting all of your faith and trust in God no matter what the circumstances are. Growing up in poverty, he still had faith that God would provide enough to eat, a means to get an education, and to someday make it to America. He was a devout Catholic and lived his life of servitude for God….

And for his family. He made a tough decision to leave his home in the Philippines for the “All American Dream” by immigrating to Hawaii . He worked multiple jobs to provide for his 5 children which led him to have 2 outstanding careers; he retired from Sears as a purchasing manager and from United Airlines as a ground crew member. He stood by my grandma’s side, taking care of her while she not only survived but beat breast cancer. When my mom got pregnant young, it was my Papa that sacrificed for the both of us. He took care of me and raised me during the day while my mom worked and went to college. He even changed his work schedule to the night shift. I have no idea how he did it or when he even took the time to get any rest.

Last but certainly not least, my Papa taught me about biblical forgiveness. He was a kind and gentle man that could forgive any offense no matter how ugly it may seem. He also taught me how to forget and grant the other person amnesty which means never bringing it up ever again. I asked him, “Why should I forgive when the other person isn’t even sorry?” He gently explained, “Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. It’s for you, not the other person. It’s to set yourself free and to just move on.”

My Papa taught me everything that I know, except how to live without him. There are so many things that remind me of him. I even see him when I look at most of you actually. I see him in my Drew’s lovingkindness, AJ’s service in the Army, Kellani’s thoughtfulness, his adventurous spirit in Josh, Azalea's selflessness to her own daughter, how Ekolu & Kama love their wives with the same complete & utter devotion, I can feel his embrace whenever I hug Uncle Ed, I can taste his cooking whenever Uncle Tony hosts family gatherings, I see him in my mother’s gentleness and nurturing heart, I hear him in Auntie Suzie'z contagious gleeful laughter, I can feel his touch in Auntie Liz’s hardworking hands,and I see him in my Grandma’s smile as she watches old videos of them together.

I would never say that I was closest in the family to Papa or that I was his favorite grandchild, but I will say this ... .that he was my favorite person, my hero, my inspiration, my best friend, my confidante ... .as my Grandma Lisa always says, Papa is the “bestest in the westest.”

In memory of Papa Marcos, I’d like to encourage each of us to honor his legacy by making a commitment to carry on his passions and life lessons. Whether it’s serving at church, volunteering at a local charity, giving resources to those in need, or simply being kinder and more empathetic to those around us, let us honor his memory by being a light to others everyday. In doing so, we can ensure that his legacy continues to inspire and guide us for years to come.

May we all find comfort, peace, and solace in knowing the truth–that Papa went to be with God in Heaven and that someday when it’s our time that we will be reunited with him.