Just an update to those following.  Since putting this website up Dad celebrated his 75th birthday in Heaven and it has also been a month since he passed away.

I feel empty along with many others for different reasons.  My father left this world Feb 3, 2022 but he actually left me a few times.  As a girl growing up we look to our father's to be a role model, the ones who love us, the one who defends and is there for us.  My father was distracted by his obligations as a father and husband.  I saw this a lot in my upbringing.  He never said "I love you".  The first time he did was a time I visited Michigan and was leaving and he sobbed and said it.  I will never forget that day.  I waited for that day my entire life.

I learned how he had bags packed to come see us and always had to change his plans because he wasn't allowed to come.  He was almost a prisoner in his own home.  Maybe he passed away from stress.  Maybe he passed away from a broken heart.  Who knows!  I do know now that he is getting endless love from the Heavenly Father.  So he is the lucky one.

Meanwhile my suffering here can only be an example to me.  How I should raise my children.  How I should love my spouse.  How I shouldn't take away special moments.  How I should be part of my family and act in a Christian manner, but not use Christianity as a coverup for my wrong-doings.  

It will take a while to heal from his death, but I've been living a long time without him physically in my life for a while now.  I encourage you to drop some scriptures below to help with this transition and also words of encouragement.  I want this to be a forum where we can all come and talk, remember good and bad times and heal and be happy.  Until my next post, please remember to think of others and how your actions will effect them.  Many Blessings. Ashley