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I've been remembering my good old friend Liu Fang Mien today, as I do every year on Dec. 15 -- which is also the  birthday of my late grandmother and one of my nieces.  Liu Fang was an exceptionally good friend who invited me to join her in Florida several times in the month of January. As a respected, award-winning nurse, she helped me with self-care and took care of countless patients in NYC Chinatown and elsewhere. May Liu Fang rest in peace and may her memory be a blessing.  Condolences to her son and daughter and granddaughter, Lee Francis.  Big hugs -- Susan R. Ruel, PhD (former VNS colleague who wrote about Liu Fang's extraordinary career as a public health nurse. )

Da A Yi was a huge positive influence in my life. I always remember her loving smile, her voice as she gave me wise advice time and time again. In college, she let me and my friends come up and stay with her in Jersey City so we could explore New York City. She always seemed to know how to have fun and I remember big family meals with her always making a toast about how wonderful it is to be together.

When it came time for me to choose a career, I insisted on following a medical school path. Eventually, her wisdom got through my stubborn head and I went to nursing school thanks to her advice. I now have a career I love, and I'm able to use my compassion to ease my patients' minds before surgery, and care for them at their most vulnerable, under anesthesia. It fills my heart to know that I can carry on the family tradition of helping those in need through nursing. I still use the wonderful stethoscope she gave me when I graduated nursing school. I can flip the head from an adult to pediatric size, and hear any tiny heart murmur. It's the Ferrari of stethoscopes.

I'm so proud of my aunt, and all of her accomplishments in the face of adversity. She was a brave and powerful woman who did a lot of good during her time on this Earth. I love you auntie. Thank you for being in my life.

Helping hands

In lieu of flowers

In lieu of flowers, consider a gift to The Tibetan Home Of Hope.

"Liu Fang Mien 閔柳芳 has a warm and welcoming personality; I knew her from Evergreen Club's activities at New York, even after I moved to California, we still had some phone conversation. Whenever she gave advise about health issue, etc. we always feel, it is sincerely and real, that is why there are so many people at Evergreen Club likes her, that is why she had been voted as President of the Evergreen Club before.

I am sorry that we loss a friend, who has generosity, wisdom, caring, and compassion for helping others. Fortunately, she passed peacefully, and she is at peace at the other side now.

Good-by Liu Fang. Thanks for your kindness to so many people." Your smile and kindness are always in our heart."

"閔柳芳個性熱情好客,我是在Evergreen Club在紐約的活動中認識她的,即使我搬到了加州,我們仍然有一些電話交談。每當她提出關於健康問題等方面的建議時,我們總感覺,很真誠,很真實,所以長青會有那麼多人喜歡她,所以她之前才被選為長青會的會長。

我很遺憾我們失去了一位慷慨、智慧、關懷和同情心幫助他人的朋友。 慶幸的是,她安詳地過去了,現在她在彼岸也安然無恙。

再見柳芳。 謝謝你對這麼多人的善意。你的微笑和善意永遠在我們心中。"

With our beloved dogs, Athena…
2016
With our beloved dogs, Athena and Frankie
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Annual X'mas Tree Viewing
2010, Rockefeller Center, Rockefeller Plaza, New York, NY, USA
Annual X'mas Tree Viewing

- 請往下讀中文 

We shared a life with mom for the past 18 years in a household of three generations of women, 2 cats and 1 dog. Mom enjoyed an active retirement for 10 of these years before she was diagnosed with stomach cancer.  She was a passionate advocate for the Chinese elderly during her last professional years as the director of Visiting Nurse Services Chinatown Center, and after retirement, she continued her advocacy work volunteering as the president of Greenburgh Evergreen Club in White Plains.  To her family, she was an exemplary filial daughter, a steadfast pillar for the 7 siblings (there was an 8th but not with the family) and their off-springs, a worry too much mom, and an amateur art critic who believes her grand daughter’s 4 year old scribble can rival Picasso’s. And everyone’s go-to person for medical advises. In her private time, mom loved arts, museums, classical music, ballet, Rockefeller’s Christmas Tree and the festive 5th Ave window display, the orchid and train shows at the Bronx Botanical Garden, fireworks on the 4th of July, biking or walking around Rockland Lake, swimming at the YMCA, daily walks with our dog, Athena, and counting all the dogs she meets on the walk; the old maple tree that was in the backyard and the reason why mom bought the house we live in. She was so attached to the tree we had a farewell ceremony before the tree had to be cut down due to decay. She had a vegetable garden for some years, took up pottery for one season, piano lesson for another. She kept herself busy trying all the things she had wanted to do but couldn’t, due to a lifetime of dedicated nursing career.

Since her diagnosis of stomach cancer, her health began the imperceptible yet steady decline, little by little she had to quit all the activities she loved, and eventually, leaving the house became a difficult task. From 2019 to the first half of 2023, she was believed to be suffering from a serious anxiety disorder without known cause, and it wasn’t until August she was finally diagnosed to have advance Parkinson’s disease. It was baffling to everyone and especially challenging for us, to witness and care for a woman known to be strong, independent, wise, physically active, to gradually shrink her world, her mind, and her body to a singular existence. I can’t help but wonder, had there not been the pandemic years when most of her doctor’s visits were conducted through telemedicine call, had our healthcare system been more about the whole person care rather than multiple specialists each for one part of the human body, will someone noticed the early onset of symptoms, now in hind-sight, that could be attributed to Parkinson’s Disease?

I want to thank the following people who helped care for mom from 2020 through 2023. My brother Lei Chou came and stay with us until the end of 2021, besides taking turns with me to tend to mom, he turned our barren backyard into a botanical garden because mom can no longer go to the one in Bronx. Her private aide Daniela Cortez joined our care team for 7 months from the end of 2020 to mid 2021 and helped restore her ability to use the walker again, and returned to help during her final months from the end of October to the day after Christmas. Her grand daughter Lei Frances was her aide in 2023 took turns with me to tend to her care and has been her over night safe-guard since she needed one. My aunt Sui Fang Min who came to help every month since 2020. She was the steadfast cheer leader/life coach that ensures mom drinks enough fluids, eats all her food, and daily exercises; her presence brought a sense of normalcy to our household where we can laugh and enjoy life a little. Her in-home PT/OT from Fox Rehabilitation. Her various NPs provided monthly in-home primary care  through Vytalize. And United Hospice of Rockland Country who supported me 24/7 to ensure her last days were comfortable. I don’t think mom can dream up a better home care team than the one she got.

When my grandmother passed away mom was depressed for a long time. She said that loosing of one’s mother will create a void so immense, it’s completely unfathomable without experience it first hand; harder even when she didn’t get a chance to say goodbye. Her words kept playing in my head in the final month as I prepare myself for what was beginning to look like the inevitable. In the last hours by her bedside, surrounding ourselves with the soundscape of the ocean, rain, birdsongs, and Tibetan Buddhist’s melodic chant, I realized she was imparting the final lesson to me about dying and death. It was a long good bye til her last breath, yet, the most profound lesson about life.

Hug your mom today and tell her you love her, do this every day. I wished I had. 

在過去的18年中,我們與媽媽分享了三代女性同堂,兩隻貓和一隻狗的有趣日子。媽媽在被診斷出患有胃癌之前,積極的享受了10年的退休生活。 在她擔任唐人街訪問護士中心主任的時候,她一直熱心的為中國老人做健康上的種種服務,退休後, 她馬不停蹄的繼續從事White Plain 常綠俱樂部主席的志願工作。 對於她的家人來說,她不僅是個孝順女兒,也是7個兄弟姐妹及其後代的堅定支柱。 對於我們,她是個愛擔心的媽媽,認為外孫女4歲的塗鴉可以與畢加索媲美的業餘藝術評論家,以及大家的醫學顧問。私底下,媽媽喜歡藝術,博物館,古典音樂,芭蕾舞,洛克菲勒的聖誕樹和第五大道的假日櫥窗展示,布朗克斯植物園的蘭花和火車展, July 4 的煙火,在Rockland湖邊騎自行車或散步,到YMCA游泳,每天與我們的狗雅典娜一起散步,併紀錄她在步行中遇到的所有狗狗,後院裡的老楓樹,也是媽媽買我們住的房子的原因。她對這棵樹有很深的依戀,當樹生病要砍掉之前,我們還特別舉行了告別儀式。她有幾年忙著種菜,上過幾個月的陶器課,幾個月的鋼琴課。由於一生致力於護理事業,這些都是她一直想做但沒時間做的事情。

自從診斷出胃癌以來,她的健康狀況開始隱隱惡化,也不得不一點一點地放棄自己喜歡的所有活動。最終, 步出家門都成了艱鉅的任務。從2019年到2023年上半,她的診斷是患有嚴重的焦慮症, 直到今年八月才被診斷出患有帕金森氏病。所有見到或是照顧過這個一向堅強,獨立,睿智,身心活躍的女人,逐漸縮小她的世界,思想,和體能,都感到困。我想問,如果不是因為新冠,大部分的醫生都是用電話會診, 如果我們的醫療系統是針對整體,而不是分門別類的掌控於多個專家,會不會有人會注意到她早期的症狀可能歸因於帕金森氏病?

我要感謝以下從2020年到2023年幫助照顧媽媽的人。我的弟弟周磊(Lei Chou)回來和我們住在一起直到2021年底,除了輪流跟我照顧媽媽, 他把我們的後院變成了植物園,因為媽媽不能再去布朗克斯了。從2020年底到2021年中,Daniela Cortez加入了我們的護理團隊7個月,並幫媽媽恢復使用助行器的能力。 從10月底到聖誕節後的第二天,Daniela 也陪在她的身邊。她的外孫女雷·弗朗西斯(Lei Frances)於2023年輪流替我照顧媽,尤其最後幾個月,媽媽的一切都無法自理。她也一直是媽的夜間保安。自2020年以來,我的三阿姨閔穗芳每個月都會來陪媽媽。她是媽的忠實啦啦隊長/生活教練,使盡全身招數的鼓勵媽媽喝足水,吃完飯,和簡單的運動; 她的造訪每每也帶來一點正常感,讓我們可以笑笑的過生活。要感謝來自Fox Rehabilation的家庭PT / OT。Vytalize的每個NP每月提供家庭醫療訪問。Rockland聯合臨終關懷醫院以24/7全天候支持我,以確保她的最後日子過得舒適。這應該是媽媽自己也無法想像的家庭護理團隊。

我祖母去世時媽媽悲傷了很久。她當時告訴我,失去母親的巨大的虛無感是沒有經驗過不能想像理解的。尤其祖母走得突然,她連道別的機會都沒有。她的話在最後這個月裡一直在我的腦中迴轉。我陪在她床邊的最後時刻裡,小小的空間裡充滿了她還能聽到的聲音:最愛的海洋,森林,鳥鳴,和西藏的音樂般的佛經 。這時我才意識到她正在向我傳授有關死亡的最後一課。直到她的最後一口氣,這不僅是很長的道別,也是關於生命的最重要的課。

今天就去擁抱你媽媽,告訴她你愛她,每天都要。我希望我有。

This is the Chinese Translation of Susan Ruel's 2005 essay about mom's advocacy work at VNS, NY. Translated by Kathy Chou. 

紐約探視護士(VNSNY)歷史檔案中有一張約1920年的珍貴照片,可見一位中國護士和她的兒科患者在唐人街。如今,這個在過去的10年中就激增了54%的亞洲人口的地區,一位名叫閔柳芳(Liu Fang Mien)的中國護士熱情地履行了成立於112年前下東區附近的VNS的公共衛生使命。柳芳不僅是VNSNY唐人街社區中心的經理,也是機構的靈魂; 為這個西半球華人最集中的地區提供流感疫苗,篩查, 健康教育和許多其他免費服務,。

她的上司說:“我們的中心於1999年開業以來,一直憑藉著柳芳的努力和堅強的奉獻精神來維持. 柳芳不僅是一位出色的護士,也是一個令人難以置信的善良和明智的人。來自紐約市各區域及鄰近的三州的求助電話她都回應, 特別是為唐人街ㄧ帶的社區提供了豐富的資源。”

柳芳說:“當人們需要幫助時,他們知道該去哪裡。” 這句話就是這個為55,080多人提供健康服務的, 店面式VNS中心的中旨。僅在去年(2004)冬天, 柳芳就獨立注射了1800針流感疫苗, 主要針對老年人。她為這個偏愛鹹辣口味的社區,長期提供固定的膽固醇,糖尿病,或高血壓等常見疾病的篩查。她每年舉辦約90次有關營養和其他健康主題的講習班,並每月定期在兩個中國廣播電台播放信息。她邀請醫生為骨質疏鬆症和心臟病做專題演講。她為華裔老人的家人提供免費商談,為1,883個家庭爭取到家庭護理的福利K; 僅去年(2004)就高達400家。

患者口中的 “閔護士”,從廣東話到普通話到英語都能靈活地切換。“我們中心最大的區別在於能說中文。” 柳芳說 “不是這樣, 沒有人會來的。” 她招集了大約41位學生志願來幫忙翻譯各種方言,還自己翻譯了患者教育手冊,例如 “糖尿病生活”。 但是語言的注重只是她文化敏感性的一角。因為中國人相信9是幸運數字, 她特別選於九月九日一九九九年為中心開幕。

兩年後她的運氣受到了最大的考驗。柳芳在經過世界貿易中做家庭病護的途中,親眼目睹第一架飛機撞樓。她堅持照看病人,在塔樓倒塌後不久,又穿過煙霧和廢墟去看護鄰近的唐人街病戶。才不過幾天,她就重新開放中心以幫助下城居民應付創傷,污染和其他病狀。最終,柳芳在歸零地區的工作也導致了呼吸系統疾病。

生於南中國的八個孩子中的長女,今年 (2005) 64 的柳芳回憶自己的醫生父親和助產士母親也常為窮人提供免費治療。“我的母親為麼某些家庭免費助產了三代。” 閔家於1940年代離開大陸前往台灣。初中時,公認是明星學生的柳芳,有將來成為研究生的理想。她雖有協助母親助產,但對醫學並沒有興趣。當她被台灣國防醫學中心的護理學校錄取時,她的父母堅持要她去。“他們非常了解我的個性。我喜歡當護士!” 她說。

柳芳單親移民到美國後,多年從事心臟外科護士的工作,同時也在哥倫比亞和其他學校進讀研究生的課程。1990年,她的母親突然去世,幾個月後父親也離世了。痛失父母的柳芳從為中國老年人的服務當中發現新的人生意義,於1992年成為VNSNY家庭護理顧問。“她對幫助同胞是全心全意的。”一位親密的同事說,“這也是她加入VNS的第一緣由。”

在一個悶熱的夏日,柳芳趕赴中國浸信會教堂去教老年人如何避免中暑和脫水。在狹窄的街道上行走間,她經過曾經看訪過的病人所住的無電梯的唐樓,隨興描述了八十歲老人爬下五層樓梯吃點心或玩麻將的喜好。

柳芳每每會在出訪的半路上被認識的病人或家屬攔下予以問候,或是問問題,或是敘述病屬的近況。閔護士是這個社區的百能,千通,萬人之友。護士不止是她的工作,更是使命。

My mother was an independent, powerful, one of a kind woman, I am honored to be her son. The eldest of nine children, her early life was marked by war, assisted our grandmother with evacuating her eldest siblings from China to Taiwan during the 1940's, while her father was away working as a physician with the army. I believe this experience as a young refugee shaped her unique and courageous life. Here are some of my memories of growing up with her. 

In the 1970's, she divorced my father and immigrated on her own to the United States under the newly available professional visa, in pursuit of better opportunities and freedom for us. She gained her citizenship and brought us to Cleveland, Ohio in 1981 so that we can become naturalized citizens as minors. 

For years she worked full time as an nurse and went to school to further her education to improve her earnings. She made sure we were taken care of despite these challenges as a single mother, and encouraged me to developed my artistic abilities, sent me to art classes that paved the way for my full scholarship for a college education in New York City, and moved here as well shortly after. She supported my ill fated venture in jewelry design and suffered along with me at weekend street markets through heat and snow in those early years. She had faith in me when I didn't.

She loved deep sea fishing and took us on numerous vacations to Florida, where she reeled in giant fish that were bigger than her, while we puked our guts out from sea sickness inside the small fishing boat. 

Her heroism didn't stop there. While working as a pediatric cardiac nurse in a hospital in New Jersey, she risked her professional license to perform an intubation on an infant recovering from heart surgery, saving the child's life, even though she was trained to do the procedure but was not yet certified, as the hospital was short staffed.  We fought the hospital and won. But her professional life as a critical care/cardiac nurse, for which she trained for many years, was officially over.

On the morning of the 9/11 terrorist attack, she was existing the World Trade Center when the first plane hit, showering her with toxic dust and debris. She still went in to work at her office in nearby Chinatown. As the Director of the Chinatown Visiting Nurses office, she rally her coworkers to help out at New York Downtown Hospital, waited in vain for survivors that never came. She went back to work the next day and days after, risking her own health to make home visits to the elderly patients relying on her care daily in the neighborhood. As the result of her exposure, she was diagnosed with stomach cancer in 2016. After her cancer surgery, her health steadily declined. We will never know her if the truma from those dark days after 9/11 impacted her mental health during her final years. 

Liu Fang Mien, Jean to her American friends, was my amazing mother who lived a full, exceptional life. May her rest in peace. I love you mom.

Here is an essay for NY Times 2005 Nursing Award Nomination about Liu Fang's ground breaking advocacy work in Chinatown, NY by Susan Ruel, a long time friend and colleague at VNS.  

A treasured photograph from the Visiting Nurse Service of New York (VNSNY) archives shows a Chinese nurse and her pediatric patient in Chinatown, circa 1920. Today, with the city’s Asian population skyrocketing 54% in the past 10 years alone, a China-born nurse named Liu Fang Mien zealously carries on the public health mission of our agency, founded nearby on the Lower East Side 112 years ago. More than just the Manager of the VNSNY Chinatown Community Center, Liu Fang is its heart and soul -- offering flu shots, screenings, health education and many other free services to the largest concentration of Chinese in the Western hemisphere.

“On the strength of Liu Fang’s efforts and dedication, our center opened in 1999, and she’s the brawn that keeps it going. Liu Fang’s a brilliant nurse and an unbelievably kind and wise human being,” her supervisor says. “People stream in from all over New York City, and she gets phone calls for help from across the tri-state area. The center provides a wealth of resources to the community.”

Liu Fang says, “When people need help, they know where to come.” This storefront walk-in center has served more than 55,080 people. Last winter alone, Liu Fang gave 1,800 flu shots, mostly to the senior citizens our center targets. She provides screenings for cholesterol, diabetes, or high blood pressure – common maladies in a community that favors spicy, preserved foodstuffs. She presents some 90 workshops a year on nutrition and other wellness topics and broadcasts this information monthly on two Chinese radio stations. She invites physicians to speak on topics like osteoporosis and heart disease. She has made 1,883 home care referrals, including 400 last year alone, in meetings with the families of elderly Chinese.

“Mien Hushi” (Nurse Mien), as patients call her, switches nimbly from Cantonese to Mandarin to English. “The big difference in what we do here is that we do it in Chinese. People won’t come here if it isn’t,” she says. More than 41 student volunteers help interpret various dialects, and Liu Fang herself translates patient education pamphlets, like “Living with Diabetes.” But language skills are only one aspect of her cultural sensitivity. Chinese consider 9 a lucky number, so she understood the benefits of opening the center on 9/9/1999.

That luck was tested two years later. En route to a patient near the World Trade Center, Liu Fang watched the first plane hit. She tended to her patient and – soon after the towers collapsed – made her way to neighboring Chinatown through smoke and debris. Her center re-opened days later, to help residents cope with trauma, contamination and other symptoms. Eventually, Liu Fang herself needed treatment for respiratory problems caused by working near Ground Zero.

Born the eldest of eight children to a South China physician and his midwife spouse, Liu Fang, 64, remembers her parents donating treatment to the poor. “For some families, my mother delivered three generations, free of charge.” The Miens left the mainland for Taiwan in the 1940s. By junior high, Liu Fang was a star pupil who dreamed of a career in research. She assisted her mother at childbirths but had no interest in medicine. When she was accepted to nursing school at Taiwan’s National Defense Medical Center, her parents insisted she go. “They understood my character very well. I love being a nurse!” she says.

A single mother, Liu immigrated to America, did post-graduate studies at Columbia and elsewhere and worked for years as a cardiac surgical nurse. In 1990, her mother died suddenly in a Kaoshiung hospital, and her father passed away months later. Depressed, Liu Fang found new meaning by serving the burgeoning Chinese community, particularly the elderly. She became a VNSNY Home Care Consultant in 1992. “She’s thoroughly devoted to helping her countrymen. That’s what brought her to our agency in the first place,” a close colleague says.

On a sweltering summer day, Liu Fang hurries to a Chinese Baptist church to teach seniors how to avoid heat stroke and dehydration. Walking the narrow streets, she passes tenement walk-ups of patients she’s tended – and describes octogenarians clambering down five flights of stairs to eat dim sum or play mah-jongg.

Liu Fang can’t go half a Chinatown block without being greeted, asked question, or updated on relatives she’s helped. She always finds solutions. She knows everyone, and she’s “connected.” Being a nurse isn’t her job. It’s her mission.

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Liu Fang Mien 閔柳芳